Authenticity
Authenticity.
It’s a quality that is being embraced by so many these days. It’s heralded as essential to living a meaningful life. But what does it truly mean to be authentic?
I once heard someone say that being authentic is impossible due to the many influences in our lives. From her perspective, the only moment of true authenticity is when you’re born; after that, you can no longer be authentically yourself because everyone and everything changes who you are. I was intrigued by her view.
On the one hand, I can agree with her idea that you are influenced by the people and circumstances that surround you. On the other hand, I don’t believe that this influence diminishes your authentic expression in any way.
It is true that you are shaped by your life experiences, that you are impacted by the opinions of those around you; essentially, both nature and nurture have influence on who you are and how you show up in the world. It cannot be otherwise. But authenticity isn’t about being “uninfluenced”. Authenticity is about taking those influences, and determining how you translate them into how you show up.
Between the moment of influence, and the moment of your expression of said influence, there is the moment of choice. This moment of choice exists whether you’re conscious of it or not. And in that moment of choice resides your authenticity. How you choose to be with the influences of others, how you choose to be impacted by circumstances, how you choose to express yourself as a result, this is what authenticity is all about.
Being authentic is about conscious choice of expression. While you might often think of expression as a voice-thing, in truth expression isn’t limited to the vocal arena. What you wear, the vocation you choose, the activities you engage in, what you eat, what you don’t, who you hang around with – these are all expressions of yourself and, when you’re being really conscious and in a space of choice around these expressions, you are being authentic.
I know that many of us are not being as conscious and choice-based as we could. As a result, it is possible that what we’re expressing isn’t truly authentic. Given that we as human beings aren’t equipped with warnings lights and bells that go off when we’re misaligned with our authentic selves, it behooves us to take the time to familiarize ourselves with the indicators that we’re being inauthentic. Possible signs of inauthentic behaviour include knots in your stomach, a feeling of tension when you’re in certain circumstances, a sense that you “should” be saying something, even as you’re silent. If any of these are present for you in any given moment, it’s worth asking yourself what needs to be tweaked.
The challenge with authenticity is this: sometimes, it can put you at odds with those around you. And so, rather than be at odds (because it’s not really a whole lot of fun), you “fall in line” and suck it up. In the moment, this doesn’t seem like a big deal. In the long run, however, if you continually deny your truth, if you choose to be inauthentic, you reach a tipping point of sorts. This point is the point at which you either change who you are completely, which leaves you feeling anything but good, or you lose supposedly strong relationships as you reveal what is true for yourself. Understand?
Bottom-line: authentic living requires you to be conscious and deliberate about the choices you make. Cruising through life on autopilot, without consideration for who you are and what matters to you really doesn’t serve in the long run. Check in with yourself; know who you are and how you want to be. Then make your choices consciously. Conscious choice is the hallmark of living with authenticity.