What do you Mean, I’ve Got Blind Spots?
One of the hallmark qualities of our human evolution is honing our own self-awareness. If you’ve done any personal growth work at all, whether as a function of your own gumption or because it was mandated by an employer or recommended by a friend, the whole point is that in order to grow, you’ve got to become aware of who you are, and how you are now, in this moment. Only by having a sense of this starting point, can you evolve into the next version of you (YOU 2.0, if you will).
This begins by looking at the stuff you don’t want to look at. And, it includes becoming aware of what you don’t even know you’re missing -- your blind spots.
Everybody has blind spots.
No matter how evolved you think you might be, trust me when I say, there are aspects of your being that you simply cannot see. They can be seen by others. Folks around you are VERY aware of your blind spots. You, however? Not so much.
The problem, of course, is that blind spots are usually points of weakness. And until you become aware of them, you can’t change those weaknesses for the better.
The question is this: how willing are you to meet your blind spots? How open are you to entertaining the possibility that there might be some aspect of you that isn’t quite as you might think? Until you’re willing to know your blind spot, you won’t. Which means it won’t change. Which means you won’t grow. Which means you’ll stay stuck, experiencing the same challenges repeatedly.
Want to know a sure-fire way to know that you’re overlooking a blind spot?
You find yourself saying something like, “Why does this keep happening to me?”
No matter the scenario at play -- could be professional, personal, relational, educational, it doesn’t matter -- if you find yourself repeatedly in the same conundrum, the issue is that there is some aspect of how you’re showing up of which you are unaware. There’s a blind spot at play, and the only way you can deal with that, is by allowing a certain vulnerability and humility to come into the picture. It’s time to take a deep breath, find a person you trust, and ask them: what am I missing here? And then, be prepared for what you might hear.
A couple of things to note: that trusted person you’re asking? Make sure they are someone who is, in fact, trustworthy. Someone who will be honest with you and not just tell you what they think you want to hear. Someone who will be respectful of your feelings. Someone who won’t sugarcoat what they’re saying.
What’s your job during this exchange? Listen. Listen to understand and learn. Don’t try to defend your actions; don’t try to explain why you act the way you do. Just listen. (Admittedly, this is easier said than done, so be prepared to get it wrong and keep reminding yourself to listen).
In exchanges like this it’s normal to feel pain. Realizing that there is an aspect of yourself that you couldn’t see before is hard. We all like to believe that we know ourselves oh-so-well. And when we discover that we are less than we thought we were? Ugh. That’s not fun.
That being said, when you can become aware of any blind spot and own it, you’re now back in the driver’s seat. Because awareness fuels your capacity to change things.
Bottom-line: everybody has blind spots (yes, that’s plural -- we all have multiple). Blind spots are only a problem when we allow ourselves to stay in that blind space. To overcome the hazards of our blind spots, we need to be willing to look at ourselves through the experiences of others, with a view to evolving and becoming more. Every time we allow ourselves to see a blind spot, we eliminate another “why does this keep happening to me” experience.