Honouring the Open Space

Last week I had a rather crazy travel experience. Without going into all of the details – because honestly, it’s a story and a half for another day – I was unable to make it to a meeting in another city as planned. I had booked two full days off for this event, travelling scheduled for both days with the event in the late afternoon of the first. In the end, I was home by the evening of the first, with that second day – originally scheduled for travel – now wide-open in my calendar. 

No appointments.

No meetings.

No errands.

Nothing scheduled.

My first reaction when I realized that I was staring at a blank day on my calendar was one of incredible relief. While I have historically been very good at creating and holding buffer space in my weeks, the past several months have seen an uptick in the amount of work I’m engaging in and so such buffer time has decreased. It’s a good “problem” to have in lots of ways. And, it’s one that my body and mind have to get used to. I’m having to learn new ways to rest and rejuvenate, you know?

My second reaction when I looked at the blank space ahead of me was to start thinking of all the things I could do.

I could hop on email and respond to what was bound to me a flurry of correspondence.

I could work on a project or two or three.

I could organize my files.

I could tend to any number of work-related things that are on my list at the moment. 

As I pondered any and all of these possibilities, I recalled a quote from somewhere in the recesses of my brain: just because you CAN doesn’t mean you SHOULD. It was a timely reminder.

While it was true that I could do any and all of the things listed above plus a myriad of others, I realized that none of them was actually what I needed to do. My inner achiever and pleaser had a hard time with this idea, but it was true. What was really needed in this moment was to take this gift of time and do anything but work. 

I needed to rest.

I needed to slow down.

I needed to tend to things non-work-related. So, after taking a deep cleansing breath, that is what I chose to do. 

I let myself wake slowly at the start of the day.

 I eased into my morning, lounging in my pyjamas until I felt good and ready to shift into my comfy outfit for the day. 

I lingered over my breakfast. 

I enjoyed a second cup of tea.

I read more of a novel that I’m enjoying. 

I visited my mom at her long-term care home and played two games of scrabble with her.

I let myself plan a retirement party for my husband because that was FUN to tend to. 

In short, I focused on anything and everything but work. 

What’s interesting to me is the amount of effort it took to hold this day open. There was an awareness and strength that I had to lean into. I had to consciously resist the temptation to “get back to work” with this gift of a day, even though I had voices telling me that it was important to tick some items off the work to-do list. This conscious choosing took some willpower and strength and remembering of what was actually important, namely, tending to my own self.

Bottom-line: it takes consciousness and willpower to NOT work. Sometimes, doing anything but work is what’s actually needed. Going forward, my intention is to be far more deliberate about how I use my time, to notice when spare time is available to me (beyond what I’ve already built in) and give myself permission to use that time for me. My invitation is that you do the same.