Lessons from a Woman with Presence

Ruth Bader Ginsburg. The notorious RBG. She passed away on September 18th, 2020 and the fact is, the world has lost a great light. 

I cannot pretend that I’ve held her as a role model for a long time. Somehow, she wasn’t on my radar until a few years ago. And even then, I can’t tell you what it was, exactly, that brought her to my attention. What I can say is this: somewhere, somehow, I came to know the name Ruth Bader Ginsburg and since then, I’ve held her as a hero. 

Someone to emulate.
A woman of grace and of strength
A model of courage and class in equal measure. 

My heart seemed to drop out of my chest when I heard the news that she had died. Her pioneering spirit contributed so much to our current world; she left a huge legacy, as evidenced by the outpouring of grief and the fact that she is, in fact, the first woman in history to lie in state in the US Capitol. Read that again: the first woman in history -- that is mind-boggling to me! 

But here’s the thing. She was not an ostentatious woman; she was not a seeker of the limelight. Instead, she was a woman committed to the mission of moving society forward, of creating space for people everywhere, and to ensuring fairness in a world that seems to have forgotten what that particular value even looks like. 

One of the things I LOVED about her was her unique ability to show up and take space, meaningfully, in a subtle way. 

She had a quiet voice, but made herself heard.
She was tiny in stature, but made her presence felt.
She held strong ideals and beliefs, and could still be in dialogue with folks who held a different viewpoint. 

A favourite piece of RBG wisdom is this: disagree agreeably. Can you imagine a world in which we all understood how to do this? How to stand in disagreement, without vilifying one another? Without kosing our sense of connection to each other? How to disagree and still move forward? You need only look to her friendship with Justice Scalia -- someone who seemed diametrically opposed to her stance on many issues -- to see how they navigated this and created a beautiful alliance. I am in awe of this capacity, especially as I imagine the great implications for our world today. 

Another thing I loved about her: RBG could live and work within the sconfines of the world without sacrificing her essence. She was who she was, unapologetically. As a Supreme Court justice, she wore a collar with her robe; it’s required, I think. But her collars were not your standard collars: instead, there were a variety from which she chose, all with a smidge of sass, conveying a different message depending on her mood. I have no idea how she chose on any given day; for me her process of choosing was less important than the fact that she just chose different, and I loved it. I actually own a Stella & Dot Pegasus collar -- she had one too and while I have always loved wearing mine, these days I find myself wearing it with just a little more pride. It has always been a great structure for me when I’m wanting to feel into my courage; now, even more so. 

RBG lived and worked in partnership. She didn’t strive to “go it alone” unless she had to. She managed to find herself a truly supportive husband, and she leaned on him when needed. She knew the value of teamwork. Again, her objective was to ensure that the world moved forward for the sake of all; it wasn’t about her claiming the glory. And yet, she was glorious. 

I could probably go on, and on. I want so much to be like her, even though I am a different person entirely. But to have her impact? Her grace? To leave her sort of legacy, even in some small measure? This is what I aspire to. 

As I contemplate the work that I do, and the folks who trust me to work with them, here’s my commitment: I will continue to show up, speak truth, and work with you to make things better. My goal is to leave this world better than when I came into it. By the time you read this post, I will have celebrated my 50th birthday. From this milestone vantage point, this particular goal seems important. RBG isn’t here any longer to keep doing her work; but I can lean into her legacy, take the baton and do my part to move it along. So I shall; and I would invite you to do the same, in whatever measure you can.