Let’s Check On Our Leaders, Shall We?
The world around us has been turned on its head, and yet we continue to move forward, albeit at a much slower pace than we were experiencing over a month ago. (At least, the pace is slower for the majority of folks). As much as this slower pace abounds, there is so much uncertainty, angst, and frustration.
As I continue to work with clients, speak with colleagues, and connect with others in my world, there seems to be a common experience, one mirroring the feeling of being on a roller coaster. And even the most avid roller coaster enthusiasts are feeling more than a little discombobulated.
When things are out of sorts in this way, we as human beings do a pretty good job of checking in on the folks who rely on us. We naturally check in on those who are vulnerable, or at risk. We check in on those we care about, for the most part. This is good. And, there’s a key demographic that gets overlooked in the whole “check in” process.
Leaders.
We forget to check in on our leaders. Whether those leaders are right at the helm of something -- a project, organization, nation, whatever -- or somewhere in the realm of “middle leadership”, somehow they are skirted by in our haste to make sure that everyone else is coping.
There’s a valid explanation for this oversight; leaders often appear to be quite competent and have their ducks in a row. It’s part of the reason they’re leaders -- they know how to pull it all together. They know how to put on a brave face and forge ahead.
That being said, our leaders are also human. Which means that all of those emotions and frustrations and challenges that the rest of the world is facing? Our leaders are facing them too. No matter how pulled together they might seem, no matter how much we are relying on them to keep things afloat, they’re having their moments of doubt and uncertainty and riding the roller coaster of emotions as much as anyone else.
And so, there’s a way that we need to be sure to check on our leaders as well. Understand; I’m not suggesting that this would simply be a nice gesture. I’m saying this is a MUST. If you want your leaders to keep leading effectively and strongly, you need to make sure they’re okay.
You need to ask them how they’re doing.
You need to figure out where and when they’re feeling overwhelmed.
You need to give them space to be human.
This last point is perhaps the key to the whole check in process; the practice of “giving space” or more accurately “holding space” is one that is undervalued. We tend to move to problem solving and bypass the creation and holding of space.
When we hold space for folks, all we need to do is bear witness. See them where they’re at without making them small or wrong, without rushing to fix things, and with the full intention of letting them be real. This is true for everyone, including our leaders.
As strong as many of our leaders are, ignoring their human experience of doubt and fear doesn’t serve anyone well. It doesn’t serve them well, and in turn it doesn’t serve us well. Which, in the long run, can derail their leadership effectiveness.
Bottom-line: we all know the value of checking in on each other. It’s easy and instinctual to check in on those we see as vulnerable or at risk. But the need to be seen (or checked-in on) is a function of our humanity, not of our vulnerability. Given that our leaders are human, we must remember to check in on them too.