So, You Want a Stress-Free Holiday? Here’s How to Make It Happen

Stress and the holidays. They seem to go hand-in-hand, don’t they? For some, it starts weeks ahead, as you anticipate buying the perfect Christmas gifts, baking the perfect batches of whatever treats you deem appropriate, and entertaining like Martha Stewart herself. Imagine perfect festivities worthy of a Norman Rockwell painting. It’s as though “perfect” is the objective, right?

Well, it might be. And maybe not.

The issue for many of you is that when it comes to the holidays, you haven’t taken the time to figure out what the objective is. And so, you go about trying to create “perfect”, but you have no idea what your personal definition of “perfect” is.

In an effort to help you out, I’m going to give you a simple 7-step system to creating a stress-free holiday; consider this my gift to you. Follow these steps and I know that your holiday season – no matter what it is you actually celebrate – will be your most enjoyable yet.

1.     Define your perfect holiday experience. Who’s around? Where are you? What are you doing in your particular holiday scenario? Be really clear. Write it all out if you must. Caution: be wary of “should” and “traditions”.

2.     Looking at your definition of holiday perfection ask yourself, how does this differ from your usual experience? What’s the defining quality? What’s missing? What’s present? Again, get clear.

3.     Talk to the people that matter in your life, particularly if this year’s vision differs monumentally from holidays that have passed. Share with them what you’re going for, and why.

4.     Remember that “defining quality” from Step 2? Anchor yourself in that. If your perfect holiday is all about “being with family”, make sure you keep your eye on that and allow everything else to be “extra”. If your perfect holiday is defined by contemplation, create space for that – and ensure that others know what you’re doing.

5.     Let go of traditions, unless they still align with your vision. Don’t fall for the “we’ve always done it this way” trap. Because it is a trap.

6.     Savour the experiences. Find joy in everything – even in the 30-minute line-up at the grocery store. Converse with the person beside you; notice the joy on the children’s faces; breathe in the crisp, fresh air; really taste that warm cup of hot chocolate.

7.     Express gratitude each and every day – for the people in your life, for the food on your table, for the opportunity to just be, when it presents itself.

8.     BONUS: let go of obligation. When someone shows up with an unexpected card, or when you open your present from Aunt Marge and it’s way more extravagant than what you got for her, don’t fret; accept it with gratitude and don’t look for ways to reciprocate. Let yourself experience the joy of receiving for the sake of receiving. Obligation creates weight; let it go.

These steps are simple; they don’t have to be followed sequentially; and, if you allow yourself to follow them, you will feel greater ease this holiday season. Rest assured, when you take the time to get clear on what you want and go about deliberately creating those experiences for yourself, your holiday will be magical. It will be something that you’ll look back on with fondness and joy and that, is the essence of any good holiday.