Love In the Professional Space

It's the week of Valentine's Day, and love is in the air. In light of this, it seems apt that I would share some thoughts on love. As my "target audience" (to use marketing lingo) tends to be folks in the professional realm, I want to talk specifically about love and how it shows up professionally.

I can already feel some of you shudder. Love? And the professional space? Are those two things even allowed to be in the same sentence? I think they are more than allowed; I believe that love in its purest form is integral to the success of any professional venture. Let me explain.

One of the unfortunate things that is held as truth is that love is a very personal thing, and as such it should be limited in its expression to personal relationships. Read this last phrase as "outside professional relationships". This viewpoint misses the mark; at the very least it limits the meaning of love, and it outright taints the concept at its worst. Love is about so much more than romance.

Love is about respect.

Love is about curiousity.

Love is about support.

Love is about acceptance.

Love is about championing.

Love is about seeing and being seen.

I could probably add more to this list. The point is that love isn't exclusively about physical intimacy, or attraction, or giving of gifts or romantic gestures. Love is about being in meaningful relationship with self and other, and in the professional space, how we be in relationship often determines the degree to which we will experience success. 

I know that in so many professional spaces there are concrete, tangible "outcomes" that need to be attained. Often, these are held up as the markers of success. It’s as though success is a numbers game and nothing more. But I've got to tell you, you can attain or surpass all the numbers in the world, and if you don't have a sense of connection amongst your professional peers, and a sense of self-acceptance, your success will be hollow. 

So how do you create such connection? How do you bring love into the professional arena? First, you prioritize relationships, including your relationship with self. You don't need to let go of attaining those goals, however, you do need to ensure that you don't sacrifice relationships along the way. 

Second, encourage and model vulnerability. Let yourself and others see one another, and be seen by one another. This is not about over-sharing; this is about being a full human, as opposed to a compartmentalized being. Compartmentalization isn't all that it's cracked up to be; from my perspective it usually gets in the way of true success. 

Finally, learn to hold grace. This means that when folks achieve success (yourself included) you make room for celebration. A simple cheering on or high-five is all that's needed (although having the occasional lunch party is likely also welcome). Holding grace also means that when folks experience failure (yourself included) you make room for commiseration and excavation. It's important to share in the frustration, and then get curious -- together -- about how to move forward.

Bottom-line: love isn't simply another four-letter word. Moreover, it's not something that is only allowed in certain contexts. Love is a human experience, and its one that needs to find its way into all human relationships and spaces, including those in the professional sphere. Expand your understanding of love as a concept. Trust me; being able to bring love into our whole lives is what the world needs. As a mentor of mine once said, "whatever the question, love is the answer."