The Thing that EVERYONE is Longing For

As part of my business, I do a lot of work with teams in addition to my work with individuals. Small teams, larger teams, and all sizes in between. I work with supervisor teams, management teams, creative teams, consulting teams. In all cases my work takes the form of coaching as well as consulting, depending on what is needed.

In the past 6 or 7 months, as I've worked with a number of groups, I've noticed a recurring theme. A shared longing, if you will. Folks come together because they feel like they need to "build" their teams' effectiveness in some way. So, we get to work.

We engage in shared conversation and exploration.

We ponder together what is working, what is missing, what is needed.

We dream and vision a bit.

We create space for venting and sharing.

We look at how individual strengths can be leveraged for the benefit of the team.

We get curious about who "the team" is, separate from its individual contributors.

All of this is done in a spirit of curiousity, in service of growth. Inevitably, the team gets stronger, more resilient, more connected, more aligned. It's all good stuff. 

But you want to know what the key to success is in all of this? You might think it's the nature of the work combined with an element of commitment; and you'd be partially right, for sure. What I'm starting to see, however -- and in fact, what's actually been declared a couple of times -- is that folks are longing for regular, meaningful, intentional CONNECTION.

Over the course of the pandemic, teams had to get creative in how they connected. Virtual platforms were put to use, with relative effectiveness overall. One might say that in learning to use such platforms, we expanded the ways in which we can connect. Which is true. 

The challenge, as I see it -- and as it's being revealed to me -- is that the very real people on our teams are longing for more regular, deeper, meaningful connection. And often, the most meaningful connection is the kind that is done in-person. 

Don't get me wrong; when time zones and distance and travel -- or even pandemics or weather -- get in the way of in-person meetings and events, having virtual platforms is a great alternative. But there is something to be said for being together in the flesh -- something that doesn't translate to the online space. 

In my experience, as humans we've gotten really good at the online meeting thing. And, it is NOT the same -- it simply cannot be the same -- as what is experienced in-person. 

There are two things I'm wanting you to take away from this post, dear reader (that's me, channeling my inner Lady Whistledown, for my Bridgerton fans). First, if you aren't having regular connection points with your team, it's time to start. At the very least, do these monthly; and know that weekly is better. And maybe even try daily, if only for a small stretch of time. Second, start having in-person meetings whenever possible. I know it won't always be possible. But don't let the convenience of virtual meetings deny you the irreplaceable connection and (dare I say it) magic that's only possible when folks are gathered together physically in the same space. 

Bottom-line: humans are social beings, even those of us who are introverts. We need connection -- meaningful, intentional, and regular connection. At the very least, make these happen virtually. And if at all possible, do these in person. If your team is in need of support in any way, start with creating connection. Connection makes a whole lot possible.