From Obligation to Opportunity

Confession: over the last few months, I have found myself feeling like I am holding a lot of obligation. I don’t know about you, but for me obligation is heavy. It’s almost burdensome, by definition. Obligation is this interesting blend of responsibility combined with weight that is hard to release (a weight that sometimes feels like guilt). Generally speaking, I don’t like the feeling of being obligated to do something.

In my heart of hearts, I know that working under the weight of obligation does not serve me well. I can do it for a short period of time. I am a person who meets my obligations. I don’t shirk them. I know that having obligations is a part of being human (or at least, I believe this to be true). I’ve come to realize however, that sometimes the thing that I see as an obligation, is actually an opportunity. And when I can see something as an opportunity, the weight on my shoulders disappears.

This is not a new lesson for me. This is something I learned a long time ago. And yet, as my life has evolved and moved to the space that I’m in now, this particular framework – shifting from obligation to opportunity – is something that I had let go. It’s a lesson that seemed to drop out of my awareness. Bringing it back into my awareness has allowed me to feel a sense of liberation. This may sound a little dramatic, and yet no matter how I try to let go of the drama and have things feel more neutral, the truth of this shift is inevitable.

The phrase that has helped me make the shift from obligation to opportunity is a simple one. Instead of saying “I’ve got to…” I shift to saying “I get to…”.

Instead of “I’ve got to do laundry” I shift to “I get to do laundry”.

Instead of “I’ve got to run errands” I shift to ”I get to do errands”.

Instead of “I’ve got to go see the doctor” I shift to “I get to go see the doctor”.

Instead of “I’ve got to go to the gym” I shift to “I get to go to the gym”.

Instead of “I’ve got to make dinner” I shift to “I get to make dinner”.

You see the pattern, right? Do you hear the energetic difference in each statement? Can you feel the shifting weight? 

For me this subtle shift is a powerful one. Admittedly, whenever I first try it, it feels a little hokey, a little contrived. But as I let myself settle into the “get to” versus the “got to” I find that I am able to breathe a little easier. And when I breathe easier, I get things done easier. And when I get things done easier, my overall experience is just a little bit lighter, a little bit more ease- filled, and a little more possible.

Like many of you, my current stage of life is taking a little while to get used to. Things have shifted and evolved over the last couple of years. I’m entering what is for all intents and purposes the last half of my life (and for all I know it could be even less than that). In this new phase, I find myself being pulled to do things differently. Being pulled to work differently. Being called to play differently. Being challenged to interact and relate to others differently. And the most powerful difference, for me, is experienced in the distinction between obligation and opportunity.

Rest assured I have a lot of obligations. As a woman, as a wife, as a daughter, as a parent, as a friend, as a coach, as an employee, as an entrepreneur, heck as a human being in general, obligation cannot be ignored. However, when I can infuse my obligations with a modicum of opportunity, I can actually fulfill those obligations without feeling bogged down by weight.

Bottom-line: we’ve all got obligations. That being said, so many of our obligations carry seeds of opportunity in them. When we can nurture those seeds, we widen our perspective and in turn enrich our overall experience. Going forward, whenever you hear yourself say “I’ve got to” do anything, shift to “I get to” do that same thing, and let yourself experience a little more lightness.