Noticing the Signs
Beginnings and endings. These are the bookends that mark hold together every experience. Every project has a beginning and an end. Every life stage, every relationship, every vacation, every journey, every occasion, every meal. You get the idea. Beginnings and endings are a very real part of how we experience the world.
These days, I’ve had much opportunity to give thought to beginnings and endings. It feels like these bookends – as much as they are present at every life stage – are particularly noteworthy in my current stage of life. I’m at an age where so much “life stuff” is happening around me.
Children are being born.
Elders are dying.
Couples are getting married.
Some relationships are ending.
People are starting careers.
Other people are retiring or ending one job to begin another.
Beginnings and endings are happening all over the place.
Many of these bookend moments (this is what I like to call them) seem to happen on their own. There’s a natural rhythm and timing that seems to come into play. This natural energy means that some beginnings and endings happen beneath the level of our awareness. It’s as though something shifts and it’s only in looking back, that we become aware of the fact that something has ended and another thing has begun. This is particularly true as we grow as human beings.
Other bookend moments can be more jarring. It’s like they come out of nowhere and catch us off guard, leaving us feeling a little discombobulated at least for a period of time. This was my experience when my father died; and I’ve had a similar experience in the past weeks as my mother’s physical health took a sudden downturn, and she had to move to a long-term care facility; she simply doesn’t have the physical capacity to live at home any longer, even with assistance. Somewhere in the recesses of my brain I knew this day would come; she knew this day would come; and it still caught us both off guard. We are adjusting.
And then there are other bookend moments that we can have a little more say over. Moments that don’t necessarily happen “on their own” but also don’t catch us off guard. Career transitions fall into this category, I think. Or at least, they can.
Every person who finds themselves gainfully employed will reach a point at which it is time to move on. There are many reasons to leave employment, everything from a stagnant work environment or toxicity to a lack of opportunity within a workplace, lifestyle changes, or just plain boredom. Whatever the reason, knowing when to move on from a particular scenario – employment-related or otherwise – is critical.
Traditionally, at least in Western society, there has been a notion that one finds themselves a career, and then stays until they reach the point at which they can financially stop working. Monetary considerations have often been held as the markers by which to determine if it’s time to stop working, switch careers, try something new. As I watch the world around me, and as I myself near what many would consider “retirement” age, I’m noticing that there are so many other considerations to take into account. I’m not saying that finances don’t matter; I’m saying that finance isn’t the ONLY thing that matters. Other things that matter include:
Are you happy at work?
Does your work challenge you meaningfully?
Do you feel like your skills are being well used?
Do you feel valued?
Are you energized or excited by your work?
Do you feel like you belong?
Are you contributing?
From where I stand, the answer to questions like these should be “yes” more often than not. I know that everyone will have moments of feeling tired, or overburdened, or uninspired. But if such feelings linger and start to become the norm – and if you don’t have anywhere else in your life where you can feel valued, happy, challenged, excited, etc; -- then it may well be time to look for another opportunity REGARDLESS of the financial picture.
Don’t get me wrong; I’m not suggesting that you throw caution to the wind and place yourself in a scenario that is financially unstable. What I’m saying is that if it feels like it’s time for a new beginning, if it feels like your current scenario needs to end, then there’s a way for you to open your eyes, and start looking for what’s next.
Here’s one last point before I wrap this up: those questions above? They can apply to all areas of life, not just work. They can apply to relationships. They can apply to living arrangements. They can apply to hobbies. They can apply to any part of your life, in which you might be feeling like things are stagnant – and applying these questions can give you a sense of whether or not you’re approaching an ending, and how you might make a conscious transition if at all possible.
Bottom-line: knowing when it’s time to move on – from a relationship, from a workplace, from a living situation – is essential to living a life of fulfillment. Yes, it’s easy to coast through any given scenario, to put up with what’s comfortable and just let things ride. But life is short and there’s so much more to enjoy than what is possible when we just let things ride. So, dare to take stock from time to time. Let yourself transition through beginnings and endings consciously. Conscious living might be a tad scary, but it’s so much more invigorating than the alternative.