Easing In to 2023

And just like that, we are two weeks into a new year.  

Those of you who’ve been with me for a while will know that one of the things I do every year is choose a theme to act as an anchor for what I want to achieve, create, and experience. The theme could be articulated as a single word or a phrase; in either case it becomes a meaningful touchstone as I move through the year.

The last several years I’ve chosen various iterations of words like grace, strength, creativity and courage. All of these have served me well, supporting me in times of challenge and in turn challenging me in times of stagnation. In other words, by using these words, I’ve grown some necessary muscles to support me as I continue to move forward. 

That being said, I’ve noticed that even with the growth I’ve experienced, there’s a way that I have slowly but surely drifted away from who and how I know myself to be. Some might say this is understandable; the last three years have had challenges, trials, turmoil and curveballs for everyone. Throw in the death of my father, the ever-increasing caregiving responsibilities with my mother, and a few health challenges of my own, I should probably cut myself some slack. 

Even with that slack, however, the truth is that I’m not actually liking who I am these days. 

I’m not quite as bubbly as I used to be.

I don’t laugh as easily.

My optimism has taken a hit, as has my confidence.

And energy just isn’t to be found most days. 

Like I say, it’s all understandable; and I don’t like it.

So, this year, the word I’ve chosen for myself is “Reclamation”.  I could also use the phrase “return to self”. In a nutshell, it’s exactly as it sounds: reclaiming the essence of who I am and showing up as I used to be. 

Before you go all up in arms on me, let me tell you that I know I can’t actually go back to the way I was. Change is inevitable, after all. I do think, however, that there is a way that I can consciously reclaim some of the pieces that have slipped away, and express them in a richer, more meaningful way. In other words, I can reclaim some of the bubbly, the optimism, the confidence and the energy and meld it with all the growth that I’ve experienced over the past two years. In creating space for all of it – in allowing the growth to inform my essence – I can actually show up as more of ME rather than a diluted version of me.

Please don’t misunderstand me; I’m not beating myself or making myself wrong for having drifted a bit. Curveballs and turmoil will have that effect on a person. I get that. What I am doing instead is reminding myself that I can pull myself back to my essence, back to my anchor. This isn’t about “reverting to old habits”; instead, it’s about using my lived experience to inform a new way of being who I am at my core. 

Bottom-line: 2023 for me, will be all about reclaiming who I truly am. It will include some boldness and audacity; some fun and lightness; there will be music and dancing; and there will be connection outside of myself. So much connection. This is what I’m committing to. What are you being called to do or create this year?