Letting Go of Perfect
I used to be a perfectionist. If I’m truly honest, I still can be on some days, in some scenarios. This usually happens when my inner critic is loud and when my fear of failing overrides my inner wisdom. Overall, however, I learned a long time ago that “perfect” wasn’t all that it is cracked up to be. If nothing else, in many scenarios, perfection is actually not attainable.
What exactly does “perfect” mean anyway? Depending on the specific context, it can be interpreted as unflawed, unmarred, or free of errors or missteps. Perfection is often equated with “the best” or “unbeatable”. And being the best or perceived as such can be a seductive aspiration; I totally get it. The thing is, in most scenarios, the payoff of perfection isn’t a whole lot more than what can be experienced with “good enough”.
Let me be clear: I’m not suggesting that you or I should “settle” or be “half-hearted” in our efforts or in our quest for whatever we are after. What I am suggesting instead is that there is value in holding our goal or objective within a bigger picture and asking what is actually needed to attain that broader objective.
Often, when you or I strive for perfection with respect to a particular focus, we lose sight of all that is happening in the grand scheme of things. For example, imagine for a second that I want to be the best coach in the world. With this in mind, I might
spend a whole lot of time and energy partnering with someone to come up with slick marketing campaigns
invest a lot of funds into a never-ending cycle of getting more and more training to sharpen my skills
go out and see what more I can do to gain exposure – trade shows? Book tours? Radio spots?
start to look at ways to “scale” my business model
I’m sure I could add at least 10 more items to this “to do list” in my quest to be the perfect or best coach in the world.
But here’s the thing: what I REALLY want is to support leaders and their teams to lead at the work that they love, without sacrificing their lives on the altar of their leadership. I want to help leaders find their individual paths of ease even in the midst of the challenges they face. I want to support leaders in doing work related to Diversity, Equity and Inclusion in meaningful ways. I want to be known as a coach who works meaningfully with those who choose to work with me, rather than have an arbitrary title of “best coach in the world”. Others might genuinely want that, and that’s fine. It’s not actually for me.
In order for me to do what I sincerely want, it’s imperative that I stay present to what’s needed in the leadership space, and invest my energy into developing myself and my services in a way that supports that need, rather than allowing my energy to be drained by the business equivalent of bright, shiny objects. In other words, I cannot let myself get distracted by a misguided notion of perfection, when a thorough grounding in what’s “good enough” will actually serve the bigger picture.
Of course, in order to let myself be rooted in “good enough” I have to understand the beauty in the seemingly imperfect. I say seemingly, because what I know to be true is that the supposed flaws – in nature, in art, in human experience – are actually the things that make things, experiences and people imperfectly perfect.
Bottom-line: as we segue into a new year, I am choosing to re-embrace the idea that good enough is where it’s at. I know in my heart that perfect is over-rated, and that I actually show up better – both for myself and for those around me – when I allow “100% good enough” to be the standard to which I hold myself. My invitation to you is that you hold the same bar; let yourself aspire to be and do “100% good enough” and let perfection go by the wayside. Here’s to embracing the perfectly imperfect.