So, You Say You Want to Change…
Growth. Evolution. Change.
On some level, we all know that these are inevitable – and indeed necessary – to the human experience. We understand that in order to reach our full potential change is part of the equation.
Theoretically, we all talk about embracing change and we purport to do so in service of the vision we hold for ourselves. Practically, however, most of us navigate change while kicking and screaming at best, or by being dragged forcibly through the process at worst.
We humans can be a strange breed in this way.
There is a gap (obviously) between the theory of change and the practice of change. There is an essential process that is necessary to bridge the gap, and it is this process that we tend to resist. It’s the process of “doing things differently”.
Even though we SAY that we want to change and grow and evolve – even though we claim to understand the merits of change and growth and evolution – what we DON’T want, is to actually DO anything differently.
How counter-productive is that?
Einstein said it best when he said that “the definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over and expecting different results.” The fact of the matter is, if you truly want things to be different – if you want to experience change to any degree, then you’ve got to be willing to DO things differently (or at least, show up differently, which is an action of a different sort).
The challenge is that, while we might understand this intellectually, we are creatures of habit. We get used to doing things a certain way and so, even though we want different results, we resist changing our patterns no matter how counterproductive those patterns might be.
So, how can you navigate change with more grace? How can you do what needs to be done, to experience the change that you want or that is needed?
1) Get clear on WHY the change is necessary or desired in the first place. Understanding your rationale for having things be different can go a long way to helping facilitate change, when your habits run up against your desire.
2) Enlist the support of others in your process. Have conversations about what you’re striving for and how you’re planning on achieving your stated outcome.
3) Be gentle with yourself. Don’t beat yourself up for “slip ups” – but don’t allow yourself to keep slipping up, either.
4) Give yourself time; change always takes time.
5) Keep track of progress; notice subtle shifts and corresponding outcomes.
6) Celebrate small changes, as you make your way toward the bigger picture.
Bottom-line: if you truly want to grow, you’ve got to embrace change. And when you truly embrace change, it means that you’re committing to a new way of being, of doing, of showing up. Lean into the newness; embrace it, don’t resist. And allow yourself to experience the joy of becoming something more than you are right now.