Stellar Coaching + Consulting

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Why Am I Doing This??

The question of “why” you are doing something is likely one you’ve asked at some point. You may have asked it when embarking on a career change, or choosing an education course, or simply deciding what social event to attend. It’s actually a really good, illuminating question to hold. The answers you unearth can help you understand your motivation, find your inspiration, and give you a much-needed anchor for if and when things go off-course. The challenge is that most of you are asking the question at the wrong time.

You ask it when you feel alone.
You ask it when things have gone off-track.
You ask it when your agenda doesn’t match the agenda of those around you.

Asking “why am I doing this” at any of these junctures isn’t an inherently bad thing; you’ll still get answers that provide some clarity. The issue is that the question serves you much better when you ask it earlier in the game, ideally before you even begin something new.

This is especially true when someone asks you to do something for them. If you simply agree without first considering WHY, you run the risk of discovering a competing agenda, or a differing view on what is required down the road. When that happens (if it happens), you’ll ask why you’re doing this, but your “why” will be rooted in frustration and angst, rather than genuine curiousity and possibility.

Why do I bother giving so much time to this?
Why did I agree to help you if you don’t like the way I’m doing it?
Why am I giving up “x” if you don’t even show up to help?

The issue at hand is a two-fold one: the first issue is about your motivation or reason for doing something. The second, is about BOUNDARIES. When someone asks you to do something, to take something on, to tackle a project, if you agree without considering WHY you’re agreeing -- especially if you have to compromise something that matters to you -- you will feel regret down the road. It’s inevitable. If, however, you ask WHY at the outset, and find a reason to do the task even if you know your motivations are different, now you’re at true choice. You can make your choice with eyes wide open, and remind yourself of your rationale when the going gets tough.

Bottom-line: it’s as important to understand why you’re doing something, as it is to understand what you’re doing. Answering the question of WHY provides you with a solid anchor for when things go wonky; it also provides great clarity. And when it comes right down to it, having clarity always leads to a greater sense of ease.