The Blog

When it comes to honesty, human foibles and fears combined with a very real desire to keep things comfortable can inhibit the best communicative exchanges.

You likely don’t need to think too hard to recall a time when you needed to tell someone something, and you found yourself holding back.  Having called to mind the situation, ask yourself this:  what was getting in the way of your truth-telling?

Uncertainty.  I’ve experienced a bit of it lately.  Actually, if I’m really truthful, I’ve experienced a LOT of it lately. There have been several curve balls that have thrown my world as I know it into a tizzy.

I know that I am not alone in experiencing uncertainty. Everyone faces uncertainty from time to time; it happens, it can look a lot of different ways, and it can stem from a variety of situations.

Sometimes, uncertainty arises slowly, creeping up on you, giving subtle warning signs that things are shifting, but not really alarming you along the way.  At other times, uncertainty can blindside you; you’re moving along, thinking that all is tickity-boo and then, WHAM! All of a sudden you’re completely disoriented and asking yourself, “what do I do now?” 

One of the things I’m still perfecting in my life is my ability – my willingness – to ask for things. For help. For time. For a cookie. Whatever.

I’m getting much better at it – heck, I’m a lot better at it than when I first opened my business doors a decade and half ago, that’s for sure. And there are times when my “ask-muscle” still stiffens up. What I know, is that I’m not the only one who grapples with this. In light of the universality of this challenge, I want to offer some advice:  ASK FOR WHAT YOU WANT. ALWAYS.

“Even if you’re on the right track, you’ll get run over if you just sit there.”  So said Will Rogers, and when I first read this quote I found myself nodding in vehement agreement. Then I got to thinking (because I enjoy mulling things over): while I do believe that there’s a truth in the quote, at the same time I see some challenges. Let me explain.

The essence of what Will Rogers is suggesting is that you’ve got to keep plugging along, you’ve got to keep moving forward, you cannot just stand still if you actually want to reach your destination, or accomplish your objective, whatever it might be. This SEEMS true. The danger, however, lies in the implication that such forward movement must be perpetual, never-ending. There’s a suggestion that you cannot stop. And this can be a problem at times.

For as long as I’ve been in the professional world, confidentiality has been a tenet by which I’ve worked. It was something I learned early on – when I first started as a volunteer in the arena of social services. We were all taught the importance – and necessity – of confidentiality, and what it meant for the safety of those whom we served.

The essence of confidentiality is this: there’s some information – usually personal in nature – that is nobody’s business outside of the immediate person or people involved. The concept of holding things in confidence is powerfully engrained in many fields and organizations.