The Blog

Leaders have a lot to do. Leaders hold positions of responsibility. In many cases, being in leadership requires you to deliver results, which means that the buck stops with you.

In light of all of this, it can be really easy – and perhaps understandable – for leaders to focus on the inevitable “to-do” list. What are the tasks that need to be done?

Some leaders tend to these tasks themselves. Others have mastered the art of delegation. Many are skilled at both.

Given the number of tasks and responsibilities that fall on a leader’s plate, it can be easy to think that leadership is solely about getting things done. Moreover, it’s easy to fall into the trap of believing that leadership is about HOW you get things done.

It’s not.

Okay, let me be the first to say it: this is not the first time I’ve written about boundaries. I’ve done it before; I’ll probably do it again. Because the topic of boundaries is one that KEEPS COMING UP.

We all know that there is something very powerful in setting and honoring boundaries. It is also pretty common knowledge that having and honoring such boundaries makes for healthy relationships and clearly defined roles and responsibilities, in all contexts. That being said, there are a few slippery slopes that exist around boundaries; if you’re not careful, it can be really easy to slip down any of those slopes, and find yourself in a blur of boundary-less oblivion.

So, let me take a minute – or two or three – to point out some of the things that may be eroding at your ability to work with boundaries effectively.

When it comes to honesty, human foibles and fears combined with a very real desire to keep things comfortable can inhibit the best communicative exchanges.

You likely don’t need to think too hard to recall a time when you needed to tell someone something, and you found yourself holding back.  Having called to mind the situation, ask yourself this:  what was getting in the way of your truth-telling?

Uncertainty.  I’ve experienced a bit of it lately.  Actually, if I’m really truthful, I’ve experienced a LOT of it lately. There have been several curve balls that have thrown my world as I know it into a tizzy.

I know that I am not alone in experiencing uncertainty. Everyone faces uncertainty from time to time; it happens, it can look a lot of different ways, and it can stem from a variety of situations.

Sometimes, uncertainty arises slowly, creeping up on you, giving subtle warning signs that things are shifting, but not really alarming you along the way.  At other times, uncertainty can blindside you; you’re moving along, thinking that all is tickity-boo and then, WHAM! All of a sudden you’re completely disoriented and asking yourself, “what do I do now?” 

One of the things I’m still perfecting in my life is my ability – my willingness – to ask for things. For help. For time. For a cookie. Whatever.

I’m getting much better at it – heck, I’m a lot better at it than when I first opened my business doors a decade and half ago, that’s for sure. And there are times when my “ask-muscle” still stiffens up. What I know, is that I’m not the only one who grapples with this. In light of the universality of this challenge, I want to offer some advice:  ASK FOR WHAT YOU WANT. ALWAYS.