Why I'm Keeping Things Real
Last week I had a long-overdue visit with a friend. She and I go WAY back. She’s always been in my corner, and recently her presence in my life has been like an anchor of sorts. As I have dealt with and continue to deal with a myriad of life changes, circumstances and curveballs, this particular friend has been present and reliable. Not in an “in-my-space” way, but rather as an energetic source that just hovers in the background, always accessible, reaching out to connect when I myself have, maybe, overlooked my own needs as I take care of those around me. (It happens.)
Anyhow, on this most recent visit, my friend noted that she has become aware of a change in my writing voice. She reflected that up until a few years ago, my writing had more of a cheerleading energy to it. She found my posts uplifting and motivating, but always in that “rah-rah, go-get-‘em” sort of way.
More recently, while my voice is still inspiring for her, she noted that it’s because I am showing up more raw, real and vulnerable. And she wondered whether this change was deliberate or a function of my life being very different over the last few years. (Hasn’t life been different for everybody over the last few years?”
Given that she asked the question – and knowing that if one person has a question, many others do as well – I thought I’d take a moment and tell you what I told her. It was an absolutely conscious choice to be more real with y’all. And here’s why:
A while back, I had someone share with me that they were wary of coaches. It didn’t matter if they were life coaches, leadership coaches, wellness coaches – whatever. For this person, their experience was that coaches always seemed to have their $#%& together; and their belief was that nobody could always have their $#%& together.
What I realized was they were absolutely right. By only sharing supposedly “positive” messages, many of my coaching colleagues and I were denying the full human experience. Such denial was sending a mixed message into the world.
And it wasn’t helpful. At all.
We all know (or should know by now) that an inherent danger in this day and age of social media is we only see what people want us to see. Often, that’s the “positive” stuff.
The successes.
The celebrations.
The joyous occasions.
On the one hand, it makes sense. The whole world does not have to be privy to the ins and outs of every aspect of my life. That being said, it feels like a misrepresentation if
I am choosing to share in the public space, and
I only share “what’s working” or what is aesthetically pleasing.
It’s just not an accurate representation. In fact, it’s a glaring misrepresentation. I’m as human as anybody, for crying out loud! Being human includes celebration-worthy stuff and some really hard, I-just-want-the-world-to-slow-down stuff.
So, I made a decision then and there that going forward, I would keep things real. I would still hold the objective of striving to inspire. And I would do so by being vulnerable, being absolutely human, and sharing from that real, lived, human space.
The outcome of this has been a more balanced, grounded experience for myself. It would appear that this is translating into my writing. If this is working for you, I’m glad. I don’t want to create the illusion that I am somehow better than, or wiser than you. What I do want is to connect with you in a real way. I want to learn from you as much as the learning may go in the other direction.
If I’ve learned anything over the course of my time on this planet it’s this: the only way to live meaningfully in this world is to do so from a space of real, vulnerable connection. This, my friends, is why I strive to keep things real.
(Now, in the interest of keeping it real, let me share that next week, I will not be providing a blog post. This week being March break for my family, I am taking time to just be with them. I’ll be back the week after ☺ ).