Recognizing Milestones

Sometimes, you can be pushing so hard towards a goal that it takes you a moment to realize when you’ve reached it.  My sense is that this is particularly true when the goal in question is more of a stop along the road, rather than the final destination.  I almost had such an experience just last week.

You see, I’m a coach with a vision, as most coaches are.  My vision, at it’s most fundamental level is about having women leaders step into their most powerful leadership selves, with a paradoxical sense of ease.  In other words, it’s about having women leaders engage with the challenging stuff that life throws at them, but with an energy of ease.

As I navigate towards this vision, there are a  myriad of tasks which I undertake on a daily basis.  There are numerous goals which I set for myself, all with a view to achieving the ultimate goal — having my message be heard and recognized as a valid one in a world that can sometimes feel overwhelming and anything but ease-filled.  Each of these goals feels worthy in and of itself, and yet, when they’re reached, it can be so easy to just sail on past it and keep moving towards “the big goal.”.  What I’m realizing is that by NOT acknowledging these supposed mini-accomplishments, there’s a way that I make the achievement of the big goal that much harder.  Why?  Because when you’re traveling a long road and you don’t stop to take a break or acknowledge your progress, you can actually feel like you’re getting nowhere.  Which is self-defeating.  So let me take a moment and acknowledge a milestone that I recently reached.  (|Note:  this is about me acknowledging my milestone; if you don’t care to acknowledge it, you can just move on to the last paragraph for the bottom-line )

For a long while now — probably a couple of years, actually — I’ve wanted to have an article of mine published in the coaching industry’s recognized publication, CHOICE magazine.  I’ve wanted to do this, but I’ve never actually submitted anything for consideration.  Don’t ask me why, I just didn’t.  Until this past spring.  That’s when I finally bit the bullet and decided to put one of my opinions regarding my profession in print and submit it with a view to having it published.  Well, it was accepted.  And the article is now in print for the world to see (you can check it out yourself at www.choice-online.com/current-toc.html — the title of the article is Meeting in the Middle).

Surprisingly, despite the fact that this is something I’ve been wanting for some time now, it took me a while to recognize this accomplishment as a milestone.  You see, my eyes are currently focused so far ahead.  And this particular accomplishment was a reminder to me that I must celebrate these smaller feats, even as I keep my eye on the bigger goal.  That’s the way for me to recognize the progress I’m making, and to feel like my work is bearing fruit.

Bottom-line: when you’re a leader with a vision that you’re working towards,  keeping your eye on the ultimate goal is important; it’s what keeps you focused and moving forward.  That being said, it’s imperative to recognize the smaller milestones that are reached on your way to that ultimate goal.  These moments of acknowledgment and celebration are what will have you realize that you’re making progress. And this progress is what will facilitate bringing your leadership vision to life.  Which is a good thing.

Laser-Focus + Soft-Focus = Mission Accomplished

I’m sitting here at the start of my first official summer work-week.  In many ways, it’s no different from any other work-week — client calls, meetings, writing, speaking, networking — these are the things in my calendar.  There’s an energetic difference, however; a difference that arises from the fact that my entire family is home (I work from home and usually have the space to myself), heightening my awareness of the fact that it is summer and there is a world of sunshine to be enjoyed just outside my patio doors.  Essentially, if I didn’t keep my eye on the ball, it would be really easy to get distracted and lose my focus.

As I sit here, contemplating the week — and weeks — ahead, I’m finding the idea of “focus” an interesting one.  It strikes me as a bit paradoxical, especially in the work context.  I’m having a sense that achieving success or accomplishing anything requires that I simultaneously maintain laser focus AND hold a big picture.  There’s a way that I’ve got to keep my eye on the ball, for sure, and at the same time allow my eyes to be aware of more than the ball.  Why?  Because if my eyes are on the ball and the ball  alone, I may actually miss vital details that could enhance my ability to achieve whatever it is I’m striving for.

As a leader, holding the vision is essential.  Focus on the vision is imperative.  Moving past distractions is key, in order to get to where I’m going and bring my leadership vision to life.  That being said, I cannot allow my focus to diminish my awareness of the rest of the picture.  In fact, there’s a way that holding a soft focus on the periphery while simultaneously holding a sharp focus on the object of my intentions makes that object even clearer. I’m thinking of a photographic effect here, where the primary subject is crystal clear, and the surrounding details are all fuzzy — and yet, the softer focus of the surrounding details doesn’t actually distract you from the primary subject — instead it almost enhances it.  That’s the power of holding the whole picture — you can be aware of it all, but with intent.  The awareness of the whole doesn’t distract you from your objective; instead it allows you to hold it with more deliberate attention.

Bottom-line: if there’s something you’re wanting to accomplish or achieve, you’ve absolutely got to stay focused.  And, it’s important that you’re not so focused that you miss the rest of the picture.  As a leader, you’ve got to hold it all — some of it lightly, some of it sharply, and all of it completely.  That’s the way that your objective will actually be achieved.

Go Ahead, Get It Wrong (And Then Get It Right!)

One of the things that has been making itself crystal clear in every cell of my being over the last couple of weeks is the vision for what I’m creating in the world.  Admittedly, not all of it is crystal clear; in fact, much of it is downright blurry.  But it’s coming into focus, and everyday brings me another piece of the puzzle (sometimes I get a piece of the piece, but it’s still coming together — that’s the point).

As I give myself permission to receive these bits of insight, and as I sit with what’s clear and what isn’t, there are two questions that I hold that seem to support the process.  Both are questions that I encountered when I took CTI’s leadership program.  The first involves me filling in the blank:  “I was born at this time in history to  ______________”.  As if that doesn’t give one pause for thought.  Sheesh.  And then there’s the, “what is your purpose as a leader?” question.  Both of these result in slightly different articulations of the same phrase. And, they’re filled with what I believe my whole coaching practice and purpose are about.  Let me see if I can fill you in.

For me, what is becoming clearer, even 2 years out from my leadership journey, is that I’m meant to infuse the world — the small world around me and by extension the world at large — with a sense of ease. Now, whenever I articulate this, even if just to myself, I am overcome with a sense of overwhelm.  Ironic, isn’t it?  Given that I’m about “ease”? It’s like I get inundated with a whack of voices saying, “you’re full of it”, “no way can life be filled with ease” and other similar phrases.  All of a sudden, my mission feels daunting, never mind challenging.

But here’s what I’m coming to realize.  The overwhelm doesn’t actually come from the supposed enormity of my challenge.  Instead, it comes from a fear that I might not succeed.  That I might be wrong.  Or, that I’m right but I’ll somehow get it wrong.  That I’ll fail.  That I’ll leave this earth without having actually modeled what I think ease is.  With this in mind, here’s what I’m challenging myself to do — to go ahead and get it wrong.  That’s right; because what I know is that so long as I risk getting it wrong, I actually stand a chance of getting it right.  Every time I make an error, I get that out of the way and realign myself so that I eventually get it right.

And here’s the other thing I’m learning afresh.  As I get clearer and clearer on my vision, I also get clearer and clearer on my markers for success.  And my markers really are my markers.  My indicators of ease, and my sharing of these indicators, are based on my understanding.  In other words, it’s time for me to stop grappling with the angst of other people who don’t get what I’m up to, start putting myself out there, and then, glory be, I know I’ll get it right.

So here’s the bottom-line, the lesson for you:  whatever it is that you’re here to do, for whatever reason that you’re on the planet right here, right now, get clear on that, then keep putting yourself out there, dealing with others’ misperceptions, getting it wrong and then getting it right.  To fulfill your leadership purpose, you’ve got to get it wrong at some point.  Only then will you get it right.

I Disagree: Can We Still Work Together?

Yesterday I wrote in this blog about the reframing of circumstances and situations to find the opportunity that serves. In a nutshell it was all about finding the perspective that will allow you as a leader to move forward powerfully in alignment with your vision, rather than faltering and stumbling your way to that same place.   Today I feel called to write about perspectives yet again, but from another place.  Today, I’m wondering how leaders can productively engage and move forward with one another when they have seemingly opposing perspectives.

This comes up for me today as a result of a conversation that I had this morning with a wonderful woman leader.  On so many levels, in so many ways, she and I seem to share the same — or at least similar — ideals and visions. To quote her, “we seem to have the same DNA.”   There is, however, one point on which we disagree.  This point is, in fact, a fundamental difference of ideology.  Since our conversation — which was a precursor to a possible meeting to explore how we might further work together — I’ve been sitting here wondering what the impact of that one point of difference might have on our work together.  I’m aware that it will have impact.  The question is, does it necessarily preclude us from moving forward towards a generally shared vision?  Even if we differ on this one point, does it mean we cannot align on others?

My personal perspective is that there absolutely is a way in which we can work together.  In order to do so, it will require us both to be absolutely honest about who we are and what we’re up to, and we will both need to be committed — fiercely committed — to holding our shared vision even when we disagree about the nuts and bolts of how it shows up in the world.  What I’m questioning is whether or not that level of commitment is actually possible.

What I know for sure is that I’ve had the experience of creating powerfully, magnificent stuff with people that I don’t agree wholeheartedly with.  I know that this sort of alliance is possible, and it’s not easy.  It’s not necessarily burdensome — it just requires an increased amount of commitment and awareness, more than would be required in a relationship where two or more people are completely in agreement.    Because of the level of energy required in this sort of alliance, I believe that rich opportunities are lost, opportunities that could move things forward like nothing else.

And so, having thought this through and written my way through my musings, my commitment is to go back to this dynamic woman and see how we might work together, without either one of us trying to change or convince the other.  My sense is that there’s a way that we can move forward together and do powerful work in the world.  Whether or not she sees it remains to be seen.  It can be easy to toss away a possible alliance based on the belief that “we just don’t see eye-to-eye.”  What I’ve come to realize is that seeing eye-to-eye is absolutely lovely — and it’s not entirely necessary to the creation of brilliant work.  Finding points of alignment and being committed to the outcome — that’s what’s necessary.

Just How Committed Are You?

Today is a day which has me exploring the nature of commitment.  Wedding vows, childhood promises, new year’s resolutions, business goals, leadership visions — all of these hold an element of commitment within them.  Why?  Because in order to see these things to completion, in order to stay with these things until they bear fruit, you have to be committed.  The question that arises, when it comes right down to it, is how committed are you?  No, really.  How committed are you prepared to be?

Being committed — truly committed — essentially requires you to make a promise like no other.  For those of you who’ve read the Harry Potter series,let me draw a parallel between the energy of commitment and the energy of the Unbreakable Vow.  Being truly committed to something inherently means that you will stay the course, you will face any and all obstacles, you will do whatever it takes, for however long it takes, in order to see the end result that you have declared yourself to be committed to.

When it comes to leadership, one of the things that I assert is that you have and hold a vision of some sort, some ideal that you’re committed to bringing alive in the world.  As you entertain and play with this vision, as you speak it and encounter the reaction of others, the question for you to ask yourself is, how committed are you?  How willing are you to go to the mat for what you hold as your vision?  How willing are you to stay the course and lead people towards your vision, even in the face of whatever gets in your way?

You see, until and unless you are  100% committed — irrevocably, unwaveringly, and solidly committed — you can’t actually claim the leadership mantle.  You can try it on, but at some point you’ll have to take it off and hand it to someone else.  No matter what it is that you’re holding as you’re leadership vision, you must be willing to be 100% committed — not75%, 90% or even 99.9% committed — 100% committed in order to find the strength, resources and alliances to bring your vision to life.

Bottom-line:  there will be times on your leadership journey when things get tough.  At those times, it will be your commitment that carries you through.  In light of this, nothing less than 100% commitment will suffice.

Make a Choice, Any Choice

One of the things that I’m noticing as I step more fully into my leadership vision, my leadership role, is that there are times when I totally get stuck.  Truthfully, it’s not even stuck in the typical sense of that word; it’s more like overwhelmed with so many choices, that I simply don’t know which to choose — and erego I feel stuck.

It’s funny, because generally speaking I’m all about having a wide array of choices available to me.  There are times, however, when all of the choices in front of me seem to have merit, as well as pitfalls, and then I start to have this conversation with my inner saboteurs all around making the “right” choice.

Well, what I’m learning is this:  sometimes, it actually serves to just make a choice, and not worry so much about whether it’s right or wrong.  By making a choice — any choice — I notice that I absolutely get “unstuck”, and if in fact the choice ends up being wrong in some way, then I can go back to the drawing board.

Leadership requires me to lead, to step out and choose, even when I’m uncertain.  I don’t always have to lead with 100% certainty; in fact, I can lead with a bit of trepidation, so long as I own that I’m uncertain.  Honesty is the key here.  And by leading in this way, there’s a way in which I can draw others into my vision more easily, I think (I’m actually not sure about this — but I have a sense of it).  Why?  Because as much as people like heroes as their leaders, there’s something compelling about a leader who also shows up in all of her absolute humanity, authentically.

Bottom-line:  having doubts doesn’t have to keep you stuck.  Instead, rather than getting all intellectual, analytical, and trying to figure it out, leadership can be  better served when you simply make a choice, any choice, without worrying about the rightness or wrongness of it.  When you make a choice, you move.  And when you move, eventually you find your way.

Feel the S-T-R-E-T-C-H!!!

So, while yesterday there was a sense of stuckness and restlessness for me, today is all about movement and stretch.  Woke up with the inspiration to “just do it” already — complete some follow-ups, take some risks, step boldly as it were.  It’s all great.  Had a concrete goal as well, to put some finishing touches on a workshop — which I did.  And what I’ve been noticing is that, moving out of the restless place, while it absolutely required me to “notice, allow and shift” as I suggested yesterday, it also requires me to stretch.

Now here’s the interesting thing that I’m learning about stretch:  I can stretch to different degrees.  Sometimes, it’s just a wee bit of a stretch.  At other times, it’s a real, effort-filled, dear-Lord-can-I-really-pull-myself-that-far sort of stretch.  And both serve.  Both have me move beyond whatever self-imposed limits I’ve created, and both stretches have me create space for what I couldn’t necessarily have anticipated showing up.

In a leadership context, this feels really important for me to remember.  As a leader, I need to constantly be aware of how I might stretch, what I might stretch into, what I might create.  Red flags for me are when I hear myself imposing limits — or even notice myself acknowledging limits.  Those limit-noticing moments are also opportunities for me to ask, “what’s the stretch here?”

As anyone who’s ever done any physical activity of any sort knows, stretching is a good thing.  It limbers you up, gets you ready, and allows you to do what would otherwise have been beyond you.  The same principle applies in the leadership game.  If you’re really going to bring your leadership vision to life, you’ve got to stretch.   A little stretch here, a big stretch there, whatever sort of stretch — just stretch.  M-O-V-E yourself into those spaces that seem like they’re off limits; challenge yourself, even just a little bit.  When it comes right down to it, at the end of the day, those little stretches all add up to one big leadership expansion.  And as a leader, that’s exactly what I’m going for.

Stand Your Ground AND Go With The Flow

Seems paradoxical, doesn’t it?  I’m not trying to be.  It’s just that I’ve had ample opportunity this past week to experiment and play with the idea of standing my ground.  As you know, I’m implementing new ideas, launching new products and basically allowing my company to morph in ways never imagined when I started coaching 6 years ago.  And what I’ve realized, as I’ve gone with the flow of inspiration, is that when I choose to go with an idea — when I choose to run with a new notion — I’ve got to simultaneously choose to stand my ground and stick with it until it catches the wind and takes off.

Napoleon Hill says that successful people are those who make decisions quickly and change them slowly if at all (or words to that effect).  In other words, you’ve got to be open to inspiration, catch hold of the idea as it makes itself known to you, then hold on until you get irrefutable signs that it’s time to let go.  You cannot waffle in the face of what appears to be rejection.

Bottom-line:  if you’ve got an idea that excites you, go with it.  Do what it takes to make it a reality.  Be prepared to hold on to your vision, even when it seems to take a while to take root.  Eventually, it will, so long as you’re willing to stand your ground.  And when it takes root, it will bear fruit, whatever that looks like.  I personally am choosing to stand my ground and go with the flow — that is actually what I’m feeling inspired to do.