Effective Leadership and The Secret

Several years ago, the movie “The Secret” was released and the self-help world hasn’t been the same since.  Some loved the movie and the concepts it put forth; some hated it; very few were unaffected.  I myself was resistant to watching the movie for the longest time, primarily because the title didn’t resonate with me.  From all I had heard, it seemed like a misrepresentation — there was nothing secretive at all about the content, as far as I could tell.  Packaging it as “The Secret”, however, was a brilliant marketing move.  After all, who doesn’t want to be privy to a secret?

All that being said, I did eventually watch it.  I’ll even admit that I bought a copy of the movie for my own periodic reference.  And, having watched the movie several times, here’s something I want you to know:  “The Secret” as presented is incomplete.  That is what I find most frustrating about the package.  A critical element has been left out, and as a result, many people are no further ahead in the manifestation and achievement of their dreams and goals.  “Ask, Believe, Receive” is put forth as the general sequence required for one to bring dreams into reality; however, these three steps alone will not work without one critical piece — action.

“Asking” and “Believing”, when combined, can essentially be equated to visualization.  Based on the sequence as presented in “The Secret”,once you ask and believe, receiving should come about naturally. There needs to be an element of action, however, that follows the asking and believing — simply visualizing is not enough.  Dreams do not become reality as a result of staring at a picture.  Period.

So, what are the implications for leadership?  As a leader, you’ve got a vision, I guarantee it.  There’s something you’ve got your heart set on creating, achieving, doing.  Taking time each day to visualizing that thing, whatever it is — see it, imagine the details — is essential.  And, equally essential is taking some action towards the achievement of that goal.  The action doesn’t have to be monumental; it can in fact be small in comparison.  But it does need to be taken.  Examples of small, but definite actions include:

1. share your dream with someone — tell people what you’re striving for
2. do some research
3. develop a plan (business plan, 3-year plan, building plan)
4. connect with people who can support you

These are simple examples of small but concrete actions.  Taking action that directly relates to whatever it is you’re striving to create is what will bring your dream to reality in the end.

Bottom-line: visualization is good.  You need to visualize because you need to know what you’re striving for.  So go ahead, ASK for something and BELIEVE that you’ll get it.  Before you can actually RECEIVE what you’re asking for, however, you’re going to have to take some ACTION.  Action always preceded the actual receiving.  That, my friends, is the real secret.

Take a Deep Breath, and BEGIN AGAIN

So, when I first started writing this blog post, my content was going to revolve around dealing with the myriad of ideas that flow my way on any given day.  It seemed like  a suitable subject; the last few weeks I’ve found myself to be inundated with a whack of ideas — a never-flowing stream of ideas — and determining what to entertain has felt challenging.  So I started — and finished — writing that post, and hit “PUBLISH”, only to realize that while I was typing, without my cluing in, my internet connection had been lost.  Which meant that my entire blog post, which I assumed was being automatically saved as I typed (which is what usually happens), was lost.  Gone.  May as well not have been entered at all.  Very, very frustrating.

What I realized, once I got over my initial frustration, was that this sort of thing happens.  Sometimes, it looks like my experience did — you lose something you thought you had.  Or, you can’t find it.  Or in other variations of the theme,  a client you were counting on decides to go elsewhere.  Or something you wanted to buy is out of stock when you get to the store.  Plans you were looking forward to fall through.  Life is filled with supposed set-backs, curve balls, surprises.  However you frame it, these things can throw you off, at least momentarily.  The question is, what do you do with that experience?

Well, it feels to me like I’m learning and relearning this lesson a lot.  Which I’m guessing is a good thing.  At the very least, it allows me to pass my learnings on to you.  In this context, I could easily have decided that the universe didn’t want me to write a post today, and let it go.  I think it would have been a valid course of action, and I could have moved on to other items on my to-do list.  Alternatively, I could have thrown in the towel and decided that I should just go back to bed and take the day off.   A little extreme possibly, but still an option.  Thirdly, I could have tried to recreate the original article; indeed I did try that for about 2 minutes, but when the frustration got to be unbearable, I let that idea go too.  What I did choose to do in the end, was take a deep breath (actually, 5-10 deep breaths), and start again.  As I allowed myself to entertain the idea of starting fresh, as I let go of the need to rewrite what I had written the first time, new ideas and possibilities opened up.  I felt my anxiety dissipate, and found that I could move on.  It wasn’t in the direction that I originally anticipated, and it was okay.  It was more than okay.  It got me unstuck.

Bottom-line:  having to begin again can feel ridiculously frustrating.  My sense is that when you allow yourself to take a deep breath first, and then begin again, what you’re actually doing is clearing the space for new stuff.  So while the title of this post would suggest that the emphasis is on beginning again, what I really want is for you to understand the importance of breathing through the process.  The deep breathing is what will facilitate the beginning again, making everything come out alright in the end.

Leader? Follower? Can You Be Both?

I woke up this morning with a question in my mind:  what’s the difference between a leader and a follower?  Which quickly led to another question:  can you be both a leader and a follower? For me, this blog provides a place for me to explore a bit and so, I’m going to see if I can’t sift through my thoughts to arrive at answers to these questions.

What’s the difference between a leader and a follower?  As I hold this question and mull it over, it strikes as pivotal in some respects.  What I know for sure is that being a leader is about so much more than holding a specific title.  You certainly might be a leader by virtue of the fact that you’re a CEO, founder, president, chairperson, etc;.  But the title’s not enough.  Leadership is about vision, it’s about risk-taking, it’s about showing up and standing up and playing the game even when others are dropping out.  Leaders are required to take a stand and invite others to stand alongside.  Leaders have to be willing to get it wrong, in order to get it right (whatever “it” might be).  In other words, a true leader cannot wait for the perfect idea at the perfect moment.  True leaders put themselves out there when things are less than perfect, knowing that as they move forward, step-by-step, perfection will be attained.

Followers, on the other hand, don’t need to hold a vision, they need only subscribe to another person’s vision.  Followers don’t need to risk taking the first step; instead they can follow in the footsteps of another.  Followers can pull out of the game for a bit, take a breath, and then dive back in when they’re ready.  All of this might make it sound like followers have got it far easier than leaders.  And I think that this is a bit of a misnomer.  Why?  Because as a follower, you’ve actually got to exercise a bit of gumption.  You’ve got to use your wits and ascertain whether the vision you’re subscribing to is subscription-worthy.  As a follower, your role is to lend support to your leaders, and so you’ve got to know what support is required of you in every moment.  You’ve got to be able to “read the play” so-to-speak.  The role of follower is no less difficult than the role of leader; it’s just different.

So, can someone be both a leader and a follower?  As I ask this question, a vision of flying geese comes to mind.  What I remember about geese flying in formation is that they absolutely always have a designated leader.  They also, however, have a system whereby, when the leader gets tired, the leader “steps back” and another goose takes the position of leader.  So now, the follower is the leader, and the leader follows for a bit.  In other words, while there is a definite leader and follower role to be held, when it comes right down to it which goose is the leader or follower isn’t nearly as important as all of the geese realizing that they’re on the same team, playing the same game, moving towards the same objective.

Bottom-line:  every team needs a leader, and every team needs followers to support the leader’s objectives.  More importantly, however, every team member — whether they are leader or follower — has to realize that the overriding fact is that they’re a team.  The entity of team trumps the individual roles — at least when the team is all on the same page.  So, leaders, followers, ask yourselves:  are you on the same page?  And if you’re not, how are you going to get there?

It’s Time to Stop Dragging Your Heels

One of the things that I find myself facing from time-to-time, is the challenge of dealing with people who seem to be dragging their feet.  You know the type.  They say they want something, but they don’t seem to be willing to do a whole lot about it.  In the context of the work I do with leaders, this often takes the form of wishing — “I wish my team would work more cohesively” or “I wish I could reach my objective of hosting five retreats this year”.  Wishing is a way of dragging your feet — especially if all you’re doing is wishing.

You see, as a leader, wishing in and of itself isn’t a bad thing.  Wishes carry the seeds of dreams.  And dreams can and do fuel leadership visions.  That being said, when you allow yourself to stay in “wishing mode” without taking action of some sort, things do not evolve and shift.  Nothing changes.  You’re dragging your heels.  And that does not serve leadership, ever.

Dragging your heels isn’t about moving and acting slowly.  Dragging your heels is about not taking action at all, sometimes disguising the fact by pencil pushing, acting on the trivial, and leaving the big stuff until later.  The only problem is that “later” never seems to arrive.  And so the wish stays a wish and doesn’t become a reality.

Whether your leadership vision is about busting through the glass financial ceiling, launching a new product, or starting a global movement is irrelevant.  With all leadership visions, there comes a point when you’ve got to move from the place of wishing and dreaming and take action.  Without action of some sort — even small, baby steps day-by-day — your vision cannot become reality.

Bottom-line:  we’re over 1/2 way through 2010.  Whatever your leadership vision — or even your personal vision, stop dealing with the small tasks, hold the big vision, and take at least one step towards major action.  Small steps lead to big steps, big steps lead to vision becoming reality.  Stop dragging your heels.

The Wrapping’s Not Very Pretty, But…

…it’s definitely a gift.  That’s what I’ve gleaned out of some of today’s experiences.  For example:  I had a meeting scheduled for this morning, and I was really looking forward to the productive brainstorming that I was envisioning happening.  Unfortunately, my colleague and I ended up at two different meeting places due to a misunderstanding as to location.  On the one hand, bummer — because I couldn’t share my ideas visually and receive ideas visually.  On the other hand, great gift — because I was out of my usual workspace and got two degrees closer in clarity as to what I’m trying to create PLUS I got to enjoy a white mochaccino, one of my secret indulgences, while I waited.

Then, I came home to deal with an ongoing blood sugar roller coaster (this one’s been going on for a couple of days now).  Bummer — because I couldn’t go for the run that I would’ve liked to experience — running when my blood sugar is wonky is just asking for trouble.  Great gift — because it allowed me to slow down and breathe through a very healthy lunch meal.

Finally, I hit a creative wall in the middle of a project this afternoon.  My brain actually stopped generating any ideas whatsoever.  Bummer — because I felt like I was on a roll.  Gift — because it forced me to reach outside of myself and enlist the help of some other folks in generating ideas, lean into community as it were.  And community is always a gift.

Bottom-line:  the day’s not unfolding as I might have envisioned it.  And I know that that happens sometimes — it’s part of the leadership game.  Heck, it’s part of the game of life.  I realize that I could get all bent out of shape about it.  Except that I also realize that the way it’s actually unfolding is better than what I originally envisioned.  I’m needing to step into a new vantage point to see the gifts; and the gifts are there nonetheless.  Pretty cool thing to remember, I think.

Recognizing Milestones

Sometimes, you can be pushing so hard towards a goal that it takes you a moment to realize when you’ve reached it.  My sense is that this is particularly true when the goal in question is more of a stop along the road, rather than the final destination.  I almost had such an experience just last week.

You see, I’m a coach with a vision, as most coaches are.  My vision, at it’s most fundamental level is about having women leaders step into their most powerful leadership selves, with a paradoxical sense of ease.  In other words, it’s about having women leaders engage with the challenging stuff that life throws at them, but with an energy of ease.

As I navigate towards this vision, there are a  myriad of tasks which I undertake on a daily basis.  There are numerous goals which I set for myself, all with a view to achieving the ultimate goal — having my message be heard and recognized as a valid one in a world that can sometimes feel overwhelming and anything but ease-filled.  Each of these goals feels worthy in and of itself, and yet, when they’re reached, it can be so easy to just sail on past it and keep moving towards “the big goal.”.  What I’m realizing is that by NOT acknowledging these supposed mini-accomplishments, there’s a way that I make the achievement of the big goal that much harder.  Why?  Because when you’re traveling a long road and you don’t stop to take a break or acknowledge your progress, you can actually feel like you’re getting nowhere.  Which is self-defeating.  So let me take a moment and acknowledge a milestone that I recently reached.  (|Note:  this is about me acknowledging my milestone; if you don’t care to acknowledge it, you can just move on to the last paragraph for the bottom-line )

For a long while now — probably a couple of years, actually — I’ve wanted to have an article of mine published in the coaching industry’s recognized publication, CHOICE magazine.  I’ve wanted to do this, but I’ve never actually submitted anything for consideration.  Don’t ask me why, I just didn’t.  Until this past spring.  That’s when I finally bit the bullet and decided to put one of my opinions regarding my profession in print and submit it with a view to having it published.  Well, it was accepted.  And the article is now in print for the world to see (you can check it out yourself at www.choice-online.com/current-toc.html — the title of the article is Meeting in the Middle).

Surprisingly, despite the fact that this is something I’ve been wanting for some time now, it took me a while to recognize this accomplishment as a milestone.  You see, my eyes are currently focused so far ahead.  And this particular accomplishment was a reminder to me that I must celebrate these smaller feats, even as I keep my eye on the bigger goal.  That’s the way for me to recognize the progress I’m making, and to feel like my work is bearing fruit.

Bottom-line: when you’re a leader with a vision that you’re working towards,  keeping your eye on the ultimate goal is important; it’s what keeps you focused and moving forward.  That being said, it’s imperative to recognize the smaller milestones that are reached on your way to that ultimate goal.  These moments of acknowledgment and celebration are what will have you realize that you’re making progress. And this progress is what will facilitate bringing your leadership vision to life.  Which is a good thing.

Laser-Focus + Soft-Focus = Mission Accomplished

I’m sitting here at the start of my first official summer work-week.  In many ways, it’s no different from any other work-week — client calls, meetings, writing, speaking, networking — these are the things in my calendar.  There’s an energetic difference, however; a difference that arises from the fact that my entire family is home (I work from home and usually have the space to myself), heightening my awareness of the fact that it is summer and there is a world of sunshine to be enjoyed just outside my patio doors.  Essentially, if I didn’t keep my eye on the ball, it would be really easy to get distracted and lose my focus.

As I sit here, contemplating the week — and weeks — ahead, I’m finding the idea of “focus” an interesting one.  It strikes me as a bit paradoxical, especially in the work context.  I’m having a sense that achieving success or accomplishing anything requires that I simultaneously maintain laser focus AND hold a big picture.  There’s a way that I’ve got to keep my eye on the ball, for sure, and at the same time allow my eyes to be aware of more than the ball.  Why?  Because if my eyes are on the ball and the ball  alone, I may actually miss vital details that could enhance my ability to achieve whatever it is I’m striving for.

As a leader, holding the vision is essential.  Focus on the vision is imperative.  Moving past distractions is key, in order to get to where I’m going and bring my leadership vision to life.  That being said, I cannot allow my focus to diminish my awareness of the rest of the picture.  In fact, there’s a way that holding a soft focus on the periphery while simultaneously holding a sharp focus on the object of my intentions makes that object even clearer. I’m thinking of a photographic effect here, where the primary subject is crystal clear, and the surrounding details are all fuzzy — and yet, the softer focus of the surrounding details doesn’t actually distract you from the primary subject — instead it almost enhances it.  That’s the power of holding the whole picture — you can be aware of it all, but with intent.  The awareness of the whole doesn’t distract you from your objective; instead it allows you to hold it with more deliberate attention.

Bottom-line: if there’s something you’re wanting to accomplish or achieve, you’ve absolutely got to stay focused.  And, it’s important that you’re not so focused that you miss the rest of the picture.  As a leader, you’ve got to hold it all — some of it lightly, some of it sharply, and all of it completely.  That’s the way that your objective will actually be achieved.

Go Ahead, Get It Wrong (And Then Get It Right!)

One of the things that has been making itself crystal clear in every cell of my being over the last couple of weeks is the vision for what I’m creating in the world.  Admittedly, not all of it is crystal clear; in fact, much of it is downright blurry.  But it’s coming into focus, and everyday brings me another piece of the puzzle (sometimes I get a piece of the piece, but it’s still coming together — that’s the point).

As I give myself permission to receive these bits of insight, and as I sit with what’s clear and what isn’t, there are two questions that I hold that seem to support the process.  Both are questions that I encountered when I took CTI’s leadership program.  The first involves me filling in the blank:  “I was born at this time in history to  ______________”.  As if that doesn’t give one pause for thought.  Sheesh.  And then there’s the, “what is your purpose as a leader?” question.  Both of these result in slightly different articulations of the same phrase. And, they’re filled with what I believe my whole coaching practice and purpose are about.  Let me see if I can fill you in.

For me, what is becoming clearer, even 2 years out from my leadership journey, is that I’m meant to infuse the world — the small world around me and by extension the world at large — with a sense of ease. Now, whenever I articulate this, even if just to myself, I am overcome with a sense of overwhelm.  Ironic, isn’t it?  Given that I’m about “ease”? It’s like I get inundated with a whack of voices saying, “you’re full of it”, “no way can life be filled with ease” and other similar phrases.  All of a sudden, my mission feels daunting, never mind challenging.

But here’s what I’m coming to realize.  The overwhelm doesn’t actually come from the supposed enormity of my challenge.  Instead, it comes from a fear that I might not succeed.  That I might be wrong.  Or, that I’m right but I’ll somehow get it wrong.  That I’ll fail.  That I’ll leave this earth without having actually modeled what I think ease is.  With this in mind, here’s what I’m challenging myself to do — to go ahead and get it wrong.  That’s right; because what I know is that so long as I risk getting it wrong, I actually stand a chance of getting it right.  Every time I make an error, I get that out of the way and realign myself so that I eventually get it right.

And here’s the other thing I’m learning afresh.  As I get clearer and clearer on my vision, I also get clearer and clearer on my markers for success.  And my markers really are my markers.  My indicators of ease, and my sharing of these indicators, are based on my understanding.  In other words, it’s time for me to stop grappling with the angst of other people who don’t get what I’m up to, start putting myself out there, and then, glory be, I know I’ll get it right.

So here’s the bottom-line, the lesson for you:  whatever it is that you’re here to do, for whatever reason that you’re on the planet right here, right now, get clear on that, then keep putting yourself out there, dealing with others’ misperceptions, getting it wrong and then getting it right.  To fulfill your leadership purpose, you’ve got to get it wrong at some point.  Only then will you get it right.

I Disagree: Can We Still Work Together?

Yesterday I wrote in this blog about the reframing of circumstances and situations to find the opportunity that serves. In a nutshell it was all about finding the perspective that will allow you as a leader to move forward powerfully in alignment with your vision, rather than faltering and stumbling your way to that same place.   Today I feel called to write about perspectives yet again, but from another place.  Today, I’m wondering how leaders can productively engage and move forward with one another when they have seemingly opposing perspectives.

This comes up for me today as a result of a conversation that I had this morning with a wonderful woman leader.  On so many levels, in so many ways, she and I seem to share the same — or at least similar — ideals and visions. To quote her, “we seem to have the same DNA.”   There is, however, one point on which we disagree.  This point is, in fact, a fundamental difference of ideology.  Since our conversation — which was a precursor to a possible meeting to explore how we might further work together — I’ve been sitting here wondering what the impact of that one point of difference might have on our work together.  I’m aware that it will have impact.  The question is, does it necessarily preclude us from moving forward towards a generally shared vision?  Even if we differ on this one point, does it mean we cannot align on others?

My personal perspective is that there absolutely is a way in which we can work together.  In order to do so, it will require us both to be absolutely honest about who we are and what we’re up to, and we will both need to be committed — fiercely committed — to holding our shared vision even when we disagree about the nuts and bolts of how it shows up in the world.  What I’m questioning is whether or not that level of commitment is actually possible.

What I know for sure is that I’ve had the experience of creating powerfully, magnificent stuff with people that I don’t agree wholeheartedly with.  I know that this sort of alliance is possible, and it’s not easy.  It’s not necessarily burdensome — it just requires an increased amount of commitment and awareness, more than would be required in a relationship where two or more people are completely in agreement.    Because of the level of energy required in this sort of alliance, I believe that rich opportunities are lost, opportunities that could move things forward like nothing else.

And so, having thought this through and written my way through my musings, my commitment is to go back to this dynamic woman and see how we might work together, without either one of us trying to change or convince the other.  My sense is that there’s a way that we can move forward together and do powerful work in the world.  Whether or not she sees it remains to be seen.  It can be easy to toss away a possible alliance based on the belief that “we just don’t see eye-to-eye.”  What I’ve come to realize is that seeing eye-to-eye is absolutely lovely — and it’s not entirely necessary to the creation of brilliant work.  Finding points of alignment and being committed to the outcome — that’s what’s necessary.

Just How Committed Are You?

Today is a day which has me exploring the nature of commitment.  Wedding vows, childhood promises, new year’s resolutions, business goals, leadership visions — all of these hold an element of commitment within them.  Why?  Because in order to see these things to completion, in order to stay with these things until they bear fruit, you have to be committed.  The question that arises, when it comes right down to it, is how committed are you?  No, really.  How committed are you prepared to be?

Being committed — truly committed — essentially requires you to make a promise like no other.  For those of you who’ve read the Harry Potter series,let me draw a parallel between the energy of commitment and the energy of the Unbreakable Vow.  Being truly committed to something inherently means that you will stay the course, you will face any and all obstacles, you will do whatever it takes, for however long it takes, in order to see the end result that you have declared yourself to be committed to.

When it comes to leadership, one of the things that I assert is that you have and hold a vision of some sort, some ideal that you’re committed to bringing alive in the world.  As you entertain and play with this vision, as you speak it and encounter the reaction of others, the question for you to ask yourself is, how committed are you?  How willing are you to go to the mat for what you hold as your vision?  How willing are you to stay the course and lead people towards your vision, even in the face of whatever gets in your way?

You see, until and unless you are  100% committed — irrevocably, unwaveringly, and solidly committed — you can’t actually claim the leadership mantle.  You can try it on, but at some point you’ll have to take it off and hand it to someone else.  No matter what it is that you’re holding as you’re leadership vision, you must be willing to be 100% committed — not75%, 90% or even 99.9% committed — 100% committed in order to find the strength, resources and alliances to bring your vision to life.

Bottom-line:  there will be times on your leadership journey when things get tough.  At those times, it will be your commitment that carries you through.  In light of this, nothing less than 100% commitment will suffice.