Embracing the Space

So, I started my workday today as I often do — by logging on to my computer, connecting in to my social media sites, checking email and scanning my daytimer to see “what’s on the agenda.”  Each of these activities allows me to “get connected” and prepare for what’s ahead.

Today, I had a very interesting thing happen.  When I opened my email program, I was greeted by several messages from individuals who were needing to reschedule appointments, which is not a problem at all.  I’m nothing if not flexible.  As I responded to each request in turn, however, and then stopped to check my now altered agenda, I noticed that with the exception of one appointment, my entire calendar had been cleared for today.  That’s right, every single appointment had been rescheduled to later in the week.  Which means that I’ve been presented with a very spacious day.

As I sat with this noticing for a bit, I was surprised by the different internal reactions I experienced.  On one hand, there was a bit (albeit a small bit) of frustration over having to rejig things.  Not major; and it was there.  Along with this, almost in opposition to this, there was a feeling of “freedom” — that’s the best word I can think of — a sense of having the option to use my time as I wanted, rather than having it be punctuated by appointments.  This gave rise to a sense of gratitude — after all, it’s like being given the gift of time in abundance, time to address those tasks that often fall to the bottom of the to-do list.

Then there was this really weird feeling, perhaps the feeling that surprised me most of all. For this, I can find no single-word description.  Instead, I’ll have to resort to a combination of words — it was a mix of curiousity and angst.  It’s like I was excited about what would unfold on this day that was suddenly wide-open, and nervous about it all at the same time.  I mean, why the heck is the universe clearing my calendar for me?  What’s up?

As I sit here post-lunch, here’s what I know for sure.  In the midst of all of these feelings, there’s a paradoxical desire to simultaneously “use my time wisely” — dive into busy-work and get things done as it were — and to give myself over to the time that’s presented itself.  This morning, I’ve done a bit of both.  I’ve absolutely tackled some “mundane” tasks — the filing, the research, the organizing — things that would ordinarily be overlooked in service of more important things.  But I’ve also allowed myself to just sit, breathe and listen.  I still don’t know exactly why the space opened up for me.  And I don’t think I need to know, at least not yet.  Sitting, breathing and listening is allowing my head to clear, my thoughts to crystalize, ideas to form.   And so I’ve let go of needing to know, and simply embraced the spaciousness, letting my mind wander, doing what I feel called to do, and trusting that it’s all good.

Bottom-line learning:  when the universe hands you a gift, in this case the gift of time, go ahead and be aware of your reaction.  And, don’t let your noticings rob you of embracing and enjoying the gift.  All will become clear when it’s meant to.

When the Answer is “No”

I remember sitting in church years ago, listening to a sermon.  I can’t recall much of what was said that morning; the minister in question was well-known for expounding on end and losing the message in the length of the sermon.  That being said, I do remember him refering to a TV show in which during a particular episode the townsfolk were caught in the midst of a severe drought.  Many of the people were praying and praying endlessly, asking God for rain, which never came.  Needless to say, despair began to set in until finally someone cried out, “Why won’t God answer our prayers?”  To which the primary character (an angel) replied:  “your prayer was answered; the answer is ‘no’.” (Sorry folks, I can’t for the life of me remember the name of the show, although I can picture it quite vividly).

For some reason, I was profoundly impacted by the minister’s sharing of this moment. In the years that have followed since, I have often had occasion to look at how often people ask a question, expect a specific answer, and then when the answer is different, complain that they weren’t heard, or weren’t answered at all.  This is particularly true, so it seems, when our requests are met with a simple “no”.  Why is that?  Why do we get so attached to hearing “yes” that the word “no” sends us into despair and gloom?

Having pondered this for a bit, I think it comes down to attachment, expectation and fear (aka, lack of trust).   I think so many of us get really attached to a specific outcome and when it doesn’t show up we doubt that we actually know what to do.  We become unsure of whether or not the universe is really supporting us.   We question whether or not God really wants us to be comfortable and succeed on our terms.

Personally, I believe that God does, absolutely want us to succeed on our terms.  So often though, what we think are our terms really aren’t.  Because we haven’t taken the time to get clear on what our terms are.  Instead, we’ve just jumped on a bandwagon somewhere, claimed it’s purpose as ours, and asked the universe to support out decision.  Sometimes it will; and sometimes it won’t.  And I choose to believe that when the universe won’t — when the answer to our prayers is “no”, it’s becuase there really is something better in store for us.

Now, I’m as human as the next guy, and this is just as hard for me to embrace as it probably is for you.  Sometimes I can totally settle into that trust-space and feel the arms of the universe envelope me and guide me.  Other times though, when I get too attached to “being right”, when I lose sight of being in service, it’s harder for me to let go.  That’s when I hear that minister’s voice saying, “The answer is no.”  I may not like it; and I can still accept it.  Deep down I do get that, like any good parent, sometimes the universe will say “no” whether I agree or not — and in the end, it’ll give me time to get clear on what I want and jump back in the game.

When You Can’t Read the Signs…

…feel them.  That’s right, instead of worrying about reading the signs that the universe is trying to send you, feel them in your being.  You are a powerful receptor and conveyor of information, particularly information from the universe.  I know from my own experience that every answer you seek to every question you have can be accessed in your body somewhere.

Play along with me for a moment.  Sit or stand with your feet firmly planted on the ground.  Close your eyes (okay, you’re going to have to read this paragraph in its entirety before you do the exercise!).  With your eyes closed, take 3 or 4 deep breaths.  With each exhale, feel any tension you’re holding or anxiety your feeling leave through your toes and dissolve into the ground beneath you.  Now take your right hand and put it over your heart, or your forehead or your stomach – wherever it is that you feel most connected to your power.  Now ask whatever question you’ve got on your mind.  Be still.  Pay attention to your body and feeeeel the answer.  Can you feel it?  I assert that you can.  The challenge now is for you to learn to trust it.

Whatever your question is/was you’ve now been given an answer.  What will happen if you follow your guidance?  So often, as human beings we rely only on what we “hear”; while there is nothing inherently wrong with hearing, what I want you to get is that there are other ways to access the answers you seek.  Utilizing all of your senses will allow you to source your answers quicker.

So go ahead and play with this notion of feeling.  Have some fun with it.  At the very least, it’ll lend some variety to your day.  And it may even open you up to having your questions answered more expediently.  Happy Friday to you!