5 Steps to Dealing with Blind Spots

Yes, it’s true.  Even leaders have blind spots.  One of the things I’m discovering is that these blind spots are often self-induced.  Why?  Because it can be oh-so-easy to buy into the myth that, as a leader, you must somehow know it all.  Which means you can walk around with the idea that there’s nothing you can’t handle.  Which, in turn, can very quickly lead to the place of not admitting when you don’t actually know the answer to something.  In other words, you end up being actually unable to see when you’re floundering, or about to flounder.  Blind spot.

What is it about our society that puts this pressure on leaders?  What would become possible if leaders were allowed some latitude, allowed the opportunity and given permission to get things wrong, make mistakes like anyone else, admit to their shortcomings?  Would these in anyway diminish their leadership abilities?  My guess — and actually, my experience — is that it wouldn’t.  My guess is that having leaders own and acknowledge their blind spots — even allowing others to point out blind spots and support leaders in circumventing them — would actually enhance leadership ability in the long run.  I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again:  leaders who are allowed to be human — and perhaps more importantly, leaders who allow THEMSELVES to be human — are actually the leaders who lead effectively.

So, all this being said, how does one deal with blind spots?  What strategies can be used to acknowledge and then move around these areas?  Here’s my  5-step system:

1. Surround yourself with trustworthy people who will, in a non-judgmental, completely supportive way, point out when there’s something you’re not seeing (a blind spot).
2. Become familiar with your own voice of judgment so you can recognize when it starts speaking, and then turn your attention to the voice of reason which allows you to make mistakes.
3. Let go of having to be perfect — in fact, celebrate mistakes as learning opportunities.
4. Remind yourself that some of the greatest leaders in history made mistakes — and achieved victory by moving past those.
5. Once in a while, shut your brain off and act from the heart — the heart’s blind spots aren’t nearly as debilitating as those of your brain.  In other words, your heart will rarely steer you wrong.

Bottom-line:  blind spots exist.  That’s all there is to it.  Whether you’re a leader, a follower, or someone who hasn’t yet found your place in the game of life, you have blind spots.  Trust me.  And, owning them and knowing that they’re simply part of the deal is critical.  Once you’ve done that, you can take steps to navigate over, through and around them.

Go Ahead, Get It Wrong (And Then Get It Right!)

One of the things that has been making itself crystal clear in every cell of my being over the last couple of weeks is the vision for what I’m creating in the world.  Admittedly, not all of it is crystal clear; in fact, much of it is downright blurry.  But it’s coming into focus, and everyday brings me another piece of the puzzle (sometimes I get a piece of the piece, but it’s still coming together — that’s the point).

As I give myself permission to receive these bits of insight, and as I sit with what’s clear and what isn’t, there are two questions that I hold that seem to support the process.  Both are questions that I encountered when I took CTI’s leadership program.  The first involves me filling in the blank:  “I was born at this time in history to  ______________”.  As if that doesn’t give one pause for thought.  Sheesh.  And then there’s the, “what is your purpose as a leader?” question.  Both of these result in slightly different articulations of the same phrase. And, they’re filled with what I believe my whole coaching practice and purpose are about.  Let me see if I can fill you in.

For me, what is becoming clearer, even 2 years out from my leadership journey, is that I’m meant to infuse the world — the small world around me and by extension the world at large — with a sense of ease. Now, whenever I articulate this, even if just to myself, I am overcome with a sense of overwhelm.  Ironic, isn’t it?  Given that I’m about “ease”? It’s like I get inundated with a whack of voices saying, “you’re full of it”, “no way can life be filled with ease” and other similar phrases.  All of a sudden, my mission feels daunting, never mind challenging.

But here’s what I’m coming to realize.  The overwhelm doesn’t actually come from the supposed enormity of my challenge.  Instead, it comes from a fear that I might not succeed.  That I might be wrong.  Or, that I’m right but I’ll somehow get it wrong.  That I’ll fail.  That I’ll leave this earth without having actually modeled what I think ease is.  With this in mind, here’s what I’m challenging myself to do — to go ahead and get it wrong.  That’s right; because what I know is that so long as I risk getting it wrong, I actually stand a chance of getting it right.  Every time I make an error, I get that out of the way and realign myself so that I eventually get it right.

And here’s the other thing I’m learning afresh.  As I get clearer and clearer on my vision, I also get clearer and clearer on my markers for success.  And my markers really are my markers.  My indicators of ease, and my sharing of these indicators, are based on my understanding.  In other words, it’s time for me to stop grappling with the angst of other people who don’t get what I’m up to, start putting myself out there, and then, glory be, I know I’ll get it right.

So here’s the bottom-line, the lesson for you:  whatever it is that you’re here to do, for whatever reason that you’re on the planet right here, right now, get clear on that, then keep putting yourself out there, dealing with others’ misperceptions, getting it wrong and then getting it right.  To fulfill your leadership purpose, you’ve got to get it wrong at some point.  Only then will you get it right.

Permission to Practice

We’ve all heard it said, “practice makes perfect.”  Whether you’re learning to play an instrument, taking  on a new job, or figuring out how to develop a spreadsheet, giving yourself time to practice — time to repeat the required skills over and over again — is what leads to mastery.

Years ago, I learned that practice requires one to move through the following stages:  unconscious incompetence, conscious incompetence, conscious competence, unconscious competence.  In other words, when you start to practice something, whatever it might be, there’s actually a stage at which you are very aware of the mistakes you’re making (conscious incompetence).  During this stage, it is essential to give yourself permission to continue to practice, and more importantly, to be incompetent without judgment, knowing that the current incompetence will pass and give rise to a level of competence after a period of time.  What I’ve noticed is that many people struggle with practicing without judgment.

Admittedly, letting go of the judgment can be challenging.  After all, you’re wanting to move on to the next level, to prove to yourself that you are capable of whatever skill you’re working toward.  What I know for sure, however, is that adding judgment to the equation often just holds you back.  It keeps you in conscious incompetence longer than necessary.

Understand, I’m not suggesting that you pretend you’re competent before you are.  This isn’t about ignoring incompetence.  This is, however, about being aware without making yourself bad, slow or wrong in any way.  It’s about allowing the incompetence to simply be part of the process.  Why?  So that you can truly learn and move on.

So, what is it that you are striving to learn?  What skill are you wanting to add to your toolkit?  How willing are you to practice, practice, practice (aka, get it wrong, get it wrong, get it wrong) before you get it right?  The more willing you are to hang out in the practice space without judgment, to hang out in the practice space with awareness, the quicker you will move to the level of conscious competence and eventually unconscious competence, otherwise known as mastery.

Bottom-line: if mastery is your objective, you need to give yourself permission to simply be aware of where you’re at, knowing that this awareness will propel you forward like nothing else.

Getting Clear on Options

That’s what I’m doing right now.  It’s funny.  Because I feel like I’m up to some pretty big things in my life.  I’ve set some big goals, and my focus feels rather “laser-like” — it’s like I’m honing in on a specific picture, and the more I hone in, the clearer and more detail-rich it becomes.

As I was driving to serveral appointments this morning I came to realize something.  You see, I’m all about “possibility” – standing in possibility, embracing possibility.  You get the idea. What I’ve realized is that one of the challenges which I’ve inadvertently set up in my life, up until now, has been that even as I entertain possibility, part of me tends to allow “failure” to be one of the options within the realm of possibility.  Makes sense, doesn’t it?  I mean, when you’re going after something, failure is definitely a possibility.  Or is it?

Here’s the epiphany I had this morning:  I can choose to allow failure as a possible option OR I can banish it from the kingdom so-to-speak.  I’ve got a big, hairy, audacious goal right now.  10 000 subscribers by July 9th, 2009, for my podcast series.  By anyone’s standards, that’s going after something in a big way!  What I decided this morning is that there is only room for success as far as this objective is concerned.  And I will do what I need to do to make it happen.  Given that success is the only option that I’m willing to entertain — and success in this case looks like 10 000 subscribers — it’s now up to me to keep working my plan, keep spreading the word, keep asking for help, keep focusing on success, leaving zero room for anything else, so that I achieve my objective.

Bottom-line:  for me, right here, right now, success is the only viable option.

Stand Your Ground AND Go With The Flow

Seems paradoxical, doesn’t it?  I’m not trying to be.  It’s just that I’ve had ample opportunity this past week to experiment and play with the idea of standing my ground.  As you know, I’m implementing new ideas, launching new products and basically allowing my company to morph in ways never imagined when I started coaching 6 years ago.  And what I’ve realized, as I’ve gone with the flow of inspiration, is that when I choose to go with an idea — when I choose to run with a new notion — I’ve got to simultaneously choose to stand my ground and stick with it until it catches the wind and takes off.

Napoleon Hill says that successful people are those who make decisions quickly and change them slowly if at all (or words to that effect).  In other words, you’ve got to be open to inspiration, catch hold of the idea as it makes itself known to you, then hold on until you get irrefutable signs that it’s time to let go.  You cannot waffle in the face of what appears to be rejection.

Bottom-line:  if you’ve got an idea that excites you, go with it.  Do what it takes to make it a reality.  Be prepared to hold on to your vision, even when it seems to take a while to take root.  Eventually, it will, so long as you’re willing to stand your ground.  And when it takes root, it will bear fruit, whatever that looks like.  I personally am choosing to stand my ground and go with the flow — that is actually what I’m feeling inspired to do.

Are You Sure That’s What You Want?

I recently acquired a meditation/manifestation CD from a friend.  Truthfully, I’m loving it.  I find that having a person’s voice guide me through a meditation works well for me.  Being the novice meditator that I am, I’m less likely to get distracted when I can follow something specific.

Anyway, right at the outset of the CD, listeners are invited to contemplate what it is they’re wanting in their life.  “What would your ideal situation be?” is the question I am asked, and I know the answer beyond a shadow of a doubt.  The next question is this…wait for it…”If you could have your ideal right now, would you take it?”  At first this question stumped me.  Why the heck are you asking me that?  Of course, I’d take it!  And then I realized that this is really the ultimate question!  Because if your answer is anything other than a resounding, unequivocal “yes”, then it doesn’t matter what the heck you’re trying to bring into your life, it just won’t show up!

So many people I know say that they’re after something specific: wealth, joy, happiness, companionship, peace, balance.  In fact, I’m willing to wager that there’s something you’re striving for right now, some dream that you’d tell me about if I asked.   And yet I have my suspicions that in your heart-of-hearts, although you say they want “x”, if it were given to you right here and now, you actually wouldn’t take it.  Why not?  Well,  I can only guess.  And my guess is that underneath the desire, behind the curtain of longing, there’s an awareness that having this “x” show up would mean that life would be different from what’s familiar.

I can just hear the collective, “Well, duh!”  And I’ve got to say, I’m not trying to be faecitious here.  Instead, I’m pointing to the fact that at a subconscious level, we all love the familiar.  Even when the familiar isn’t exactly enjoyable, it’s predictable and erego comfortable.  To have it change, even for the better, means having to adjust how you  are in the world.  It means having to find a new orientation.  And for some people, that’s just too much work.

So ask yourself, whatever it is you’re aiming for right now, are you willing to adjust your orientation to the world around you in order to have it?  Are you willing to change in whatever way is necessary?  Are you willing to let some people go, be with new people, perhaps change your location?  Because when you’re asked whether or not you’d take your dream on a platter right now, what you’re really being asked is “are you willing to shift your life in accordance with that dream?”  If your answer is yes, great!  And if your answer is anything else, it’s time to stop and get really clear on what you are willing to do.  Bottom-line: until you are willing to say a resounding, crystal-clear yes to your dream, it won’t show up.  I guarantee it.

Begin Again

It’s funny how lessons learned have a way of reappearing months or even years after the original learning.  Last year I participated in a learning activity where the primary lesson was to “begin again”.  I was part of a group that was given a particular objective, and instructions on how to achieve the objective.  The specifics don’t really matter; what does matter is that every time we strayed off course, so to speak, we were required to “begin again”.  The activity seemed simple enough on many levels.  Nevertheless, it took a fair number of attempts, and a fair amount of time.

At first, when we were invited to “begin again”, there was a sense of general fun and goo-natured joviality.  As time went on, however, the words “begin again” started to be met with frustration and despair, particularly as we seemed to get closer to achieving the objective, only to be told “begin again.”

Once the activity was done, objective met and duly celebrated, we all had time to sit with the learning.  Indeed, I have sat with the learning for almost a year now.  And what I know for sure is this:  whenever I fall off course, whenever I make a mistake, whenever I screw things up — no matter how close or far I am to achieving the stated objective — I get to begin again.  Always.  Each and every time.  I can have my moment of frustration, I can even be downright angry.  And then I can begin again.  And eventually, after I’ve begun again often enough, success will be mine.  And the learning gleaned along the way will enrich my life thereafter.

Derailed or Inspired: What’s Your Response to Failure?

Failure.  Whether it’s of grand proportions or small-scale, failure happens to all of us at some time or another.  And generally speaking, failure is not the outcome we’re aiming for whenever we engage in a venture, whatever it may be.  Whether we’re aiming for it or not, however, failure is generally part of the game.  Many of the most sucessful people on the planet will tell you that in order to achieve their successes, they had to travel a path marked with numerous failures.  The key to their success — as well as to yours — lies in their response to those failures.  Which leads me to get really curious:  how do I respond to failure?  And how do you?

For many people, failure is the impetus for becoming derailed.  I’m sure you’ve had at least one time where you’ve allowed this to be your response.  You work really hard for some particular aim, it turns out to elude you, and you give up on the venture altogether.  Not uncommon — and certainly not something I’m wanting to judge you for.  What I do want to do, however, is invite you to ask yourself, how might you allow that same failure to inspire you rather than derail you?  Even if it doesn’t inspire you immediately, what if you could take time to be derailed, and then move into the place of being inspired?  What would be possible then?

I’m willing to bet that the aforementioned “succesful people” all have felt derailed at one point or another.  I assert that what moved them forward to eventual success is the fact that theymoved from derailed to inspired at some point.  They took a look at “what went wrong” and tried to find what could “go right”.  Here’s what I want you to consider:  failure is not something to be ashamed of, or even something to avoid.  There is huge opportunity in failure, if you’re willing to find it.  Within that opportunity lies inspiration to keep moving forward.  And that inspiration, when you allow yourself to see it, is what will move you to your eventual success.

Standing on the Brink

“The brink of what?” you might ask.  To which I say, “the brink of success”.  I’m feeling called to write about this today, as I feel myself feeling on the brink another level of success.  It’s the nature of life:  we tend to move from success to success (or if the word “success” feels too strong for you, then use “event” — that’s broad and general enough I should think).  The inherent challenge in this movement is that, as we get closer to our goal, there can be a weariness of sorts that sets in, even as you feel a simultaneous adrenaline rush that arises out of the awareness of how close you are.  Do you know what I’m talking about?  Let me give you a concrete example:

You’re running a race.  A long race.  You’re nearing the finish line.  You can see it — it’s totally within your grasp, and you’re tired as hell.  Every fibre of your being wants you to stop – but there’s a louder something within you that pushes you to put on a last burst of energy and surge forward.  Sometimes you win, sometimes you don’t, but you do cross that line.  And you gain a sense of accomplishment as a result.  But what would happen if you gave in to the voice of fatigue?  You wouldn’t reach your goal, and you’d miss it by a mere number of feet.  So close, and yet so far.

For so many people, this sense of being so close and yet so far is the norm.  The closer you get to your goal, the louder the voices of fear, doubt, fatigue, etc; become.  The question for you to hold is, will you reach down deep and access the voice of encouragement, of inner wisdom, of championing to pull you (or push you) over the brink?  Because the brink is really that point of no return – the imaginary line which, if you can just reach it and step over it, separates you from the life you know, and the life you’re creating.  When you’re standing on the brink, you absolutely could turn back.  And, unless  you step over, the next level of success will elude you.

It’s Never Too Late

One of the things I love to do – particularly when I’m feeling somewhat “stuck” or in need of inspiration, is to check out YouTube videos.  Have you ever done it?  There’s a whole myriad of inspiration to be found, especially on the Britain’s Got Talent show.  The latest one I just watched this morning, and it shows 47 year old Susan Boyle claiming her dream for herself.  It’s amazing to watch.

Here’s this woman – a rather common-looking, middle-aged woman – going after her dream with a relative confidence and cheekiness.  At the beginning, you can see that the judges and audience are less than impressed.  Skeptical would be the best word in my opinion.  And despite this, Susan Boyle clearly states what she’s going for, without hesitation, and then “wham!” – she blows the whole audience away!

As I watched – and I know I’ll watch it again – I was struck by her sassiness, her confidence, her self-belief, her determination.  It would have been really easy (I think) for her to say things like, “I’m too old”, “I missed my chance”, “It’s just a dream”, etc;.  But for some reason she didn’t.  And the result speaks for itself.

I have no idea how this woman’s dream will turn out from here.  I guess I’ll keep an eye out and see.  What I do know is this:  thanks to Susan Boyle, I will hold on to the idea that it really is never too late.  I can pursue my dreams for as long as I want and am willing.  Combine this with my unshakeable belief that the universe wants me to experience success on my terms as much as I do, and dreams are bound to come true.  I’ll just keep moving forward.

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