The Funny Side of Leadership

Sometimes, it feels like leadership is serious business.  So much to do.  So many people relying on you.  So many decisions to make.  So much responsibility.  Bottom-line:  So much of so much.  And it all rests with you as the leader.  Doesn’t matter if you’re the leader of a country, the leader of a company, or the leader of a family, the position of leader carries with it a lot of weight.  And weight can weigh things down, feel heavy, somber, serious.

One of the things I know for sure, however, is that despite the serious nature of leadership, the most effective leaders — the ones who leave a lasting impression (of a good sort), the ones who get things done and inspire others to do the same, are the ones who can laugh a little.  Because there is a funny side to leadership, you know?  There are laughable moments, there are jokes at one’s own expense, there’s a comical side to most any problem you encounter.  Part of your job as a leader is to find those funny sides and embrace them.  Laugh a little.  Actually, laugh a lot.  Why?  Because laughter takes the pressure off.  Laughter keeps things light.

As a leader, when you can laugh, you can infuse a situation with lightness.  When you infuse a situation with lightness, you actually clear away the “muck” (whatever the “muck” of the moment is) and clear the way for solutions, ideas, opportunities that couldn’t be seen before.  The cliche is that “laughter is the best medicine” — and science shows us over and over again that laughter does in fact have healing properties.  Or at least, it induces the production of certain healing chemicals and hormones in the body — naturally.  In other words, laughter serves.  The challenge is this:  when things are feeling heavy, you’ve got to be deliberate about the laughter.  And, it’s not as challenging as you might think.  Here are a few simple strategies to bring on the laughter when you need it most:

1. Keep a “funny file” close at hand.  A file on your computer or in your filing cabinet, this is where you can keep a stock of jokes, sayings, anecdotes, whatever brings about a laugh.
2. Subscribe to a funny blog, or joke site.  There are many out there — and it’s a great way to start your day (or end it, as the case may be) with a laugh.
3. Close your eyes and recall a funny event — a moment at a comedy show, a funny family situation, an “America’s Funniest Videos” moment — anything that gets you giggling.
4. Share your laughs with a colleague.  Remember, “shared sorrow is half a sorrow; shared joy is double joy.”  Who doesn’t want double joy?
5. Listen to the sound of a baby laughing — seriously, nothing can get you laughing more easily than the infectious sound of an infant’s uninhibited laughter.

Bottom-line:  you want to lead at your best?  Find the funny side of leadership and laugh a little. Leaders who can laugh are leaders who can lead with the best of them.

Tweak It, Don’t Ditch It

Sitting here contemplating the strategy of planning.  So many of us are planners, at least in some area of our lives.  Plans are good, overall.  Plans provide direction, plans tell you what to do when you feel too tired to figure it out.  That being said, even the best laid plans can prove unreliable.  Or at least, not as reliable or infallible as originally thought.

I’ve had the privilege of dealing with plan-related glitches recently.  I don’t think I’m unique in this regard — everyone experiences glitches — but I’ve chosen to observe my responses to such glitches.  And, I’ve noted the responses of others  — whether clients, colleagues, friends, family members — when they experience glitches.  So often, there can be a tendency to just ditch the plan altogether. Sometimes, that actually serves; and sometimes, it really doesn’t.

What I’m noticing is that sometimes — often times — the plan doesn’t need to be ditched, it just needs to be tweaked.  Modified.  There’s just one little click to make, one little detail to alter, one little timeline to adjust — in order to make an otherwise ineffective plan, effective.  The plan isn’t a complete waste — it just needs to be tweaked.

My thought is that, in this sense, plans can be likened to a sweater that gets caught on something sharp and ends up with a pulled thread as a result.  You could say that the sweater is now unwearable and ditch it.  That, however, really would be a waste.  Why?  Because it doesn’t take a lot of effort to flip the sweater inside out and pull the thread back.  Do this, and all of a sudden the “unwearable” sweater is wearable again.  Same thing with plans; one little tweak and all of a sudden what was unworkable, is now workable.

Bottom-line:  before you ditch the plan altogether, you’ve got to ask yourself — is this tweakable?  If it is, tweak away and watch your plan gain traction and achieve what you intended all along.  Only ditch if it can’t be tweaked.  Methinks that this is a good motto when it comes to achieving success.

You’re the Leader, They’re Watching You

No, I’m not talking about a big-brother conspiracy theory in any way.  Instead, I’m talking about the fact that as a leader, you are an example to those around you.  People watch you and look to you for direction.  They emulate what you do; they take their cue from you.  So, are you modeling choices that serve the big picture?

This question is particularly relevant in the area of self-care.  You know that taking care of yourself is important. Often the challenge, however, is that you’re also aware of all that needs to be done.  And you likely tell yourself some version of the “there’s not enough time” story.  Which can translate into you working late hours, never turning your email off, working when you say you’re relaxing, etc; etc;.  What’s the message you’re striving to send your team with these actions?  My guess is you’re striving to convey a strong work ethic.  Very noble of you; and not very accurate.  Because what actually gets internalized is some version of “taking care of myself is not important.”  Not a message that serves the big picture at all.

Self-care is vital to the success of any project.  Health and wellness must be maintained, and this can only be done when you take time to take care of your needs.  Everyone needs to build in breaks, and you as the leader must model this.  When you exemplify strong self-care strategies, those around you follow suit.  The end-result is enhanced efficiency, goal achievement and overall success.

Bottom-line:  you’re the leader and by virtue of this fact, you are being watched.  Those around you will do what you do.  So model great self-care; great self-care leads to success.  Always.

Stop For a Minute, Or Else…

So much to do, so little time.  You’re probably familiar with the phrase.  And as a leader — no matter the arena in which you lead — this phrase could well be your mantra.  I know.  I share the sentiment.  One of the things I’ve learned over the years, however, is that if you don’t insert some “stop moments” into the busy-ness that is your life, you will pay, in some way or another.  And usually, the cost to going non-stop isn’t worth the price, at least not when going non-stop is your modus operandi.

There’s a sense that as a leader you must model efficiency and productivity.   I would agree with this, however, efficiency and productivity goes down the drain when you don’t take the time to refuel and regroup.  In too many cases, you’re very likely flying through your day, not taking time to eat, trying to complete multiple projects at once and meet a myriad of deadlines.  While taking a 3-week vacation in the middle of this may in fact be unreasonable, there is still a way — and a need — to stop and regroup in such a way as to actually be the model you’re striving to be.  Here are some suggestions:

• remember, breaks don’t have to be long — 5 minutes can be more than adequate
• when you do take a break, be absolute about it — shut your computer off, leave the phone alone, close your door
• take a scenery break — get out of the office and sit on a sofa somewhere, with a warm beverage — and savour it
• turn your brain off — or at least, off of work; focus on something that gives your brain a change of pace
• your break isn’t about checking anything off your to-do list, so be sure that your focus for this time is rejuvenation
• take a quick walk, even if it’s just around the parking lot — the fresh air will do you good
• eat — something healthy, something to give you energy, and focus on what you’re eating while you do — savour it

One of the things I know for sure is that leaders have an obligation to model not only productivity and efficiency, but good self-care habits.  Self-care isn’t selfish in any way; self-care actually serves your ultimate objective, whatever it might be, and increases productivity in the long run.  Bottom-line:  learn to take the time.  Your body, your mind, your team will all thank you.  And you’ll achieve what you’re wanting with enough energy left to enjoy the feeling of success.

5 Steps to Dealing with Blind Spots

Yes, it’s true.  Even leaders have blind spots.  One of the things I’m discovering is that these blind spots are often self-induced.  Why?  Because it can be oh-so-easy to buy into the myth that, as a leader, you must somehow know it all.  Which means you can walk around with the idea that there’s nothing you can’t handle.  Which, in turn, can very quickly lead to the place of not admitting when you don’t actually know the answer to something.  In other words, you end up being actually unable to see when you’re floundering, or about to flounder.  Blind spot.

What is it about our society that puts this pressure on leaders?  What would become possible if leaders were allowed some latitude, allowed the opportunity and given permission to get things wrong, make mistakes like anyone else, admit to their shortcomings?  Would these in anyway diminish their leadership abilities?  My guess — and actually, my experience — is that it wouldn’t.  My guess is that having leaders own and acknowledge their blind spots — even allowing others to point out blind spots and support leaders in circumventing them — would actually enhance leadership ability in the long run.  I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again:  leaders who are allowed to be human — and perhaps more importantly, leaders who allow THEMSELVES to be human — are actually the leaders who lead effectively.

So, all this being said, how does one deal with blind spots?  What strategies can be used to acknowledge and then move around these areas?  Here’s my  5-step system:

1. Surround yourself with trustworthy people who will, in a non-judgmental, completely supportive way, point out when there’s something you’re not seeing (a blind spot).
2. Become familiar with your own voice of judgment so you can recognize when it starts speaking, and then turn your attention to the voice of reason which allows you to make mistakes.
3. Let go of having to be perfect — in fact, celebrate mistakes as learning opportunities.
4. Remind yourself that some of the greatest leaders in history made mistakes — and achieved victory by moving past those.
5. Once in a while, shut your brain off and act from the heart — the heart’s blind spots aren’t nearly as debilitating as those of your brain.  In other words, your heart will rarely steer you wrong.

Bottom-line:  blind spots exist.  That’s all there is to it.  Whether you’re a leader, a follower, or someone who hasn’t yet found your place in the game of life, you have blind spots.  Trust me.  And, owning them and knowing that they’re simply part of the deal is critical.  Once you’ve done that, you can take steps to navigate over, through and around them.

Go Ahead, Get It Wrong (And Then Get It Right!)

One of the things that has been making itself crystal clear in every cell of my being over the last couple of weeks is the vision for what I’m creating in the world.  Admittedly, not all of it is crystal clear; in fact, much of it is downright blurry.  But it’s coming into focus, and everyday brings me another piece of the puzzle (sometimes I get a piece of the piece, but it’s still coming together — that’s the point).

As I give myself permission to receive these bits of insight, and as I sit with what’s clear and what isn’t, there are two questions that I hold that seem to support the process.  Both are questions that I encountered when I took CTI’s leadership program.  The first involves me filling in the blank:  “I was born at this time in history to  ______________”.  As if that doesn’t give one pause for thought.  Sheesh.  And then there’s the, “what is your purpose as a leader?” question.  Both of these result in slightly different articulations of the same phrase. And, they’re filled with what I believe my whole coaching practice and purpose are about.  Let me see if I can fill you in.

For me, what is becoming clearer, even 2 years out from my leadership journey, is that I’m meant to infuse the world — the small world around me and by extension the world at large — with a sense of ease. Now, whenever I articulate this, even if just to myself, I am overcome with a sense of overwhelm.  Ironic, isn’t it?  Given that I’m about “ease”? It’s like I get inundated with a whack of voices saying, “you’re full of it”, “no way can life be filled with ease” and other similar phrases.  All of a sudden, my mission feels daunting, never mind challenging.

But here’s what I’m coming to realize.  The overwhelm doesn’t actually come from the supposed enormity of my challenge.  Instead, it comes from a fear that I might not succeed.  That I might be wrong.  Or, that I’m right but I’ll somehow get it wrong.  That I’ll fail.  That I’ll leave this earth without having actually modeled what I think ease is.  With this in mind, here’s what I’m challenging myself to do — to go ahead and get it wrong.  That’s right; because what I know is that so long as I risk getting it wrong, I actually stand a chance of getting it right.  Every time I make an error, I get that out of the way and realign myself so that I eventually get it right.

And here’s the other thing I’m learning afresh.  As I get clearer and clearer on my vision, I also get clearer and clearer on my markers for success.  And my markers really are my markers.  My indicators of ease, and my sharing of these indicators, are based on my understanding.  In other words, it’s time for me to stop grappling with the angst of other people who don’t get what I’m up to, start putting myself out there, and then, glory be, I know I’ll get it right.

So here’s the bottom-line, the lesson for you:  whatever it is that you’re here to do, for whatever reason that you’re on the planet right here, right now, get clear on that, then keep putting yourself out there, dealing with others’ misperceptions, getting it wrong and then getting it right.  To fulfill your leadership purpose, you’ve got to get it wrong at some point.  Only then will you get it right.

Permission to Practice

We’ve all heard it said, “practice makes perfect.”  Whether you’re learning to play an instrument, taking  on a new job, or figuring out how to develop a spreadsheet, giving yourself time to practice — time to repeat the required skills over and over again — is what leads to mastery.

Years ago, I learned that practice requires one to move through the following stages:  unconscious incompetence, conscious incompetence, conscious competence, unconscious competence.  In other words, when you start to practice something, whatever it might be, there’s actually a stage at which you are very aware of the mistakes you’re making (conscious incompetence).  During this stage, it is essential to give yourself permission to continue to practice, and more importantly, to be incompetent without judgment, knowing that the current incompetence will pass and give rise to a level of competence after a period of time.  What I’ve noticed is that many people struggle with practicing without judgment.

Admittedly, letting go of the judgment can be challenging.  After all, you’re wanting to move on to the next level, to prove to yourself that you are capable of whatever skill you’re working toward.  What I know for sure, however, is that adding judgment to the equation often just holds you back.  It keeps you in conscious incompetence longer than necessary.

Understand, I’m not suggesting that you pretend you’re competent before you are.  This isn’t about ignoring incompetence.  This is, however, about being aware without making yourself bad, slow or wrong in any way.  It’s about allowing the incompetence to simply be part of the process.  Why?  So that you can truly learn and move on.

So, what is it that you are striving to learn?  What skill are you wanting to add to your toolkit?  How willing are you to practice, practice, practice (aka, get it wrong, get it wrong, get it wrong) before you get it right?  The more willing you are to hang out in the practice space without judgment, to hang out in the practice space with awareness, the quicker you will move to the level of conscious competence and eventually unconscious competence, otherwise known as mastery.

Bottom-line: if mastery is your objective, you need to give yourself permission to simply be aware of where you’re at, knowing that this awareness will propel you forward like nothing else.

Getting Clear on Options

That’s what I’m doing right now.  It’s funny.  Because I feel like I’m up to some pretty big things in my life.  I’ve set some big goals, and my focus feels rather “laser-like” — it’s like I’m honing in on a specific picture, and the more I hone in, the clearer and more detail-rich it becomes.

As I was driving to serveral appointments this morning I came to realize something.  You see, I’m all about “possibility” – standing in possibility, embracing possibility.  You get the idea. What I’ve realized is that one of the challenges which I’ve inadvertently set up in my life, up until now, has been that even as I entertain possibility, part of me tends to allow “failure” to be one of the options within the realm of possibility.  Makes sense, doesn’t it?  I mean, when you’re going after something, failure is definitely a possibility.  Or is it?

Here’s the epiphany I had this morning:  I can choose to allow failure as a possible option OR I can banish it from the kingdom so-to-speak.  I’ve got a big, hairy, audacious goal right now.  10 000 subscribers by July 9th, 2009, for my podcast series.  By anyone’s standards, that’s going after something in a big way!  What I decided this morning is that there is only room for success as far as this objective is concerned.  And I will do what I need to do to make it happen.  Given that success is the only option that I’m willing to entertain — and success in this case looks like 10 000 subscribers — it’s now up to me to keep working my plan, keep spreading the word, keep asking for help, keep focusing on success, leaving zero room for anything else, so that I achieve my objective.

Bottom-line:  for me, right here, right now, success is the only viable option.

Stand Your Ground AND Go With The Flow

Seems paradoxical, doesn’t it?  I’m not trying to be.  It’s just that I’ve had ample opportunity this past week to experiment and play with the idea of standing my ground.  As you know, I’m implementing new ideas, launching new products and basically allowing my company to morph in ways never imagined when I started coaching 6 years ago.  And what I’ve realized, as I’ve gone with the flow of inspiration, is that when I choose to go with an idea — when I choose to run with a new notion — I’ve got to simultaneously choose to stand my ground and stick with it until it catches the wind and takes off.

Napoleon Hill says that successful people are those who make decisions quickly and change them slowly if at all (or words to that effect).  In other words, you’ve got to be open to inspiration, catch hold of the idea as it makes itself known to you, then hold on until you get irrefutable signs that it’s time to let go.  You cannot waffle in the face of what appears to be rejection.

Bottom-line:  if you’ve got an idea that excites you, go with it.  Do what it takes to make it a reality.  Be prepared to hold on to your vision, even when it seems to take a while to take root.  Eventually, it will, so long as you’re willing to stand your ground.  And when it takes root, it will bear fruit, whatever that looks like.  I personally am choosing to stand my ground and go with the flow — that is actually what I’m feeling inspired to do.

Are You Sure That’s What You Want?

I recently acquired a meditation/manifestation CD from a friend.  Truthfully, I’m loving it.  I find that having a person’s voice guide me through a meditation works well for me.  Being the novice meditator that I am, I’m less likely to get distracted when I can follow something specific.

Anyway, right at the outset of the CD, listeners are invited to contemplate what it is they’re wanting in their life.  “What would your ideal situation be?” is the question I am asked, and I know the answer beyond a shadow of a doubt.  The next question is this…wait for it…”If you could have your ideal right now, would you take it?”  At first this question stumped me.  Why the heck are you asking me that?  Of course, I’d take it!  And then I realized that this is really the ultimate question!  Because if your answer is anything other than a resounding, unequivocal “yes”, then it doesn’t matter what the heck you’re trying to bring into your life, it just won’t show up!

So many people I know say that they’re after something specific: wealth, joy, happiness, companionship, peace, balance.  In fact, I’m willing to wager that there’s something you’re striving for right now, some dream that you’d tell me about if I asked.   And yet I have my suspicions that in your heart-of-hearts, although you say they want “x”, if it were given to you right here and now, you actually wouldn’t take it.  Why not?  Well,  I can only guess.  And my guess is that underneath the desire, behind the curtain of longing, there’s an awareness that having this “x” show up would mean that life would be different from what’s familiar.

I can just hear the collective, “Well, duh!”  And I’ve got to say, I’m not trying to be faecitious here.  Instead, I’m pointing to the fact that at a subconscious level, we all love the familiar.  Even when the familiar isn’t exactly enjoyable, it’s predictable and erego comfortable.  To have it change, even for the better, means having to adjust how you  are in the world.  It means having to find a new orientation.  And for some people, that’s just too much work.

So ask yourself, whatever it is you’re aiming for right now, are you willing to adjust your orientation to the world around you in order to have it?  Are you willing to change in whatever way is necessary?  Are you willing to let some people go, be with new people, perhaps change your location?  Because when you’re asked whether or not you’d take your dream on a platter right now, what you’re really being asked is “are you willing to shift your life in accordance with that dream?”  If your answer is yes, great!  And if your answer is anything else, it’s time to stop and get really clear on what you are willing to do.  Bottom-line: until you are willing to say a resounding, crystal-clear yes to your dream, it won’t show up.  I guarantee it.