Shifting the Energy

So here’s the thing:  every single one of you exudes energy in some form.  And, you are impacted by the energy that others exude.  Energy is all around, you create it and you respond to it.  As a leader, it is particularly important for you to be aware of this.  Why?  Because knowing how your energy impacts those around you is vital to the effectiveness of your leadership.

“You know you’re an effective leader when the energy in a room shifts for the better when you walk in it.”  This is the first indicator of effective leadership that I listed in last week’s blog post about signs of effective leadership.  You may or may not be all that conscious of the energy you exude or create in the world.  And yet, I want to invite you to start paying attention.  What’s the impact you have on the space around you?  When you chair a meeting, how does your team respond?  When you walk into the office, what do you notice about how people respond?  Do they greet you positively?  Pretend they didn’t see you?  Cower in fear?  All of these responses are indicative of the energy you emit, and you can shift the energy so that the response — the impact — out there is positive.  As a leader, that’s what you’re looking for.

Bottom-line:  if the energy of the people around you goes flat, deflates, or decreases in anyway when you show up as a leader, you are likely not having the impact that best serves your leadership vision.  Increase your energy in a positive light, and you’ll increase the power of your leadership.  It’s a good thing.

Experience the Shift

I’m into week two of a new project that I’m undertaking.  Not a big “take it to the world” sort of project; but rather a simple, “time to shift my life” project.  Essentially, it’s a way for me to take everything I know intellectually — stuff I’ve learned, stuff I’ve heard about, stuff I’ve experienced but lost along the way — and put it into concrete practice.  It’s not a mastermind group, but it is a way to harness and utilize true, authentic mastermind energy.

Several years ago, I was part of an authentic mastermind group.  This was a group that met weekly to start, and then bi-weekly, with the sole purpose of having its members speak their visions and desires, express gratitude for what was present and what was being manifested, have others bear witness to their dreams of success and their actual success, all without going to the consultative, brainstorming space.  Powerful stuff it was.

For various reasons, the group eventually disbanded.  And two weeks ago, myself and another member of the original group decided to harness the same energy, with just the two of us.  Our goal is to keep things pithy and concise, really concrete and as tangible as possible.  We begin by expressing an overall “manifestation” for the week — what is it we’re aiming to create this week?  From there we move into gratitude — simple expression of pure gratitude for what is.  Then, we share our successes of the day.  And the last step is to request how we want to be “held” in our manifestation — how do we want the other person to think of us, when they think of us at all, so the universe gets the same message all around?

Some may consider this sort of structure hoaky.  Well, what I know for sure is that stuff is SHIFTING like it wasn’t shifting before.  Clients are showing up, money is showing up, ideas are showing up, programs are filling, speaking requests are coming in, bookings are being made, to-do lists are being crossed off — all great stuff.  Sometimes, the things that show up aren’t quite as I would have envisioned.  And it’s still showing up.  Which forces me to express more gratitude and stay anchored in joy; which forces more stuff showing up.  It’s a cycle, you see.

As a leader, what I know is that I must model the power of standing in gratitude, even if I do nothing else.  There’s a way that leadership visions are infused with power, when gratitude is the anchoring force.  So find your gratitude, express it and experience the shift.  It’s an experience you don’t want to miss.

When You Haven’t Got The Answer…

Ever have the feeling of just not knowing the answer?  I know I do.  And my clients often do.  I think that’s just par for the course in this game called life.  And it can be a very frustrating situation, no doubt about it.

As a coach, my specialty is asking questions.  And what I know for sure is that sometimes it’s less about knowing the answer and more about knowing which question to ask.  So often I see it happen where I’m in a quandry, wrestling with the world around me trying to find the answer — only to realize that I’ve been focusing on the wrong question.   For example, I generally start my mornings by asking what intention I’m going to hold for the day.  It’s a question that generally serves and I can usually come up with an answer fairly quickly.  Sometimes, however, I just draw a blank.  I don’t know what intention to hold.  In those moments, I know it’s time to ask a different question, to change the focus as it were.  On those days, questions like “what do I want today’s theme song to be?” or “If I could go through today as a colour, what would it be?” will get me moving like nobody’s business.

You’ll notice these next questions aren’t exactly orthodox.  Nobody says they have to be.  The question to hold, orthodox or not, is the one that has you find an answer.  I guess the bottom-line is this:  when you haven’t got an answer, and finding the answer feels like a struggle, it’s likely time to ask a different question.  Try it.  At the very least it’ll shift your energy.  And that’s always a good thing.

From Should to Could to Will

Let me begin this article by reassuring you that I am not going to attempt to banish any particular word from your vocabulary.  I am a firm believer in the idea that all words have a place in which they can be used appropriately.  The challenge, as I see it, is that words have incredible power, and oftentimes it is very easy to use a word or combination of words without considering the powerful way in which they land, and the resulting impact that gets created.  So really, the next few months are less about eliminating words and more about stretching your usage of them, so that the impact that is created is more in keeping with what you desire.

The first word that I’m going to invite you to play with is the word “should”.  How often do you hear yourself or others talk about what “should” be said/done/accomplished?  “I SHOULD go to the gym”; “You SHOULD eat more fruits and veggies”, “We SHOULD try that new restaurant”.  This is a word that is very much overused in our society, in my humble opinion.  This results in so many of us walking around as if we’re carrying the burdens of the world on our back.  In using the word “should” indiscriminately, you create an extremely heavy load to bear!

Before exploring alternative words that may suit your circumstances more appropriately, let’s note that the word “should” is a  “used to express moral obligation, necessity, etc;” according to the New Lexicon Webster’s Dictionary of the English Language.  Now, when you use the word should on a daily basis, are you really attempting to convey a moral obligation?  Or even a necessity?  And if so, are you certain that it’s an obligation or necessity according to what you’re striving for?  Or is this an old rule or paradigm that is being imposed on your life by someone else, or that you’re imposing on someone else’s life?  Do you see where I’m pointing you?  It’s my belief that more often than not, when you use the word should, you’re imposing a set of beliefs — obligations, necessities — into a situation that doesn’t necessarily call for it.  More importantly, too often, you use the word “should” and stop the conversation from moving any further.  And so this obligation hangs over your head like a looming threat.  So how do you address this challenge?  By moving through the “should” as quickly as possible.  Here’s what I mean.

Let’s say that, in the context of the life you’re creating, you’ve identified a very real necessity to exercise more.  This translates into the statement “I should go to the gym”.  Great.  You’ve named the necessity.  The question now becomes, what will you do?  Naming the necessity or obligation is not enough to really motivate you to change your story.  It may start you moving in a new direction, but until you shift from the place of obligation to the place of choice, you will feel burdened, and at some point you will likely rebel.  So, once you’ve identified that you “should go to the gym” and that you “want to, because it will benefit your health”  your new statement becomes any one of “I could go to the gym” (you’ve got an option),  “I can go to the gym” (you’re capable of it, you’ve got the opportunity), to finally “I will go to the gym” (I’m committed to this course of action — it’s not obligatory, it’s what I want).  Can you feel the energetic shift?

Some of you may argue that we’re really talking about semantics here.  And I agree with you.  The semantics in this case, however, are important.  It’s the subtle, energetic differences in language that determine the quality of the story you’re creating for yourself.  In the case of “should” — do you want to create  a story rife with obligation and necessity?  Or do you want a story filled with possibility and commitment?  I assert that the latter is what you’re really going for.  And if I’m wrong, then stick with you’re shoulds.  Remember, this isn’t about eliminating words from your vocabulary — it’s about making sure you’re using the words that are right and true for you.

Bottom-line:  the word “should” carries with it a weight that can drag you and your life’s story down.  One way to shift the energy is to move as quickly as possible from should to could/can or would/will.  In doing this, your story changes to one of possibility and commitment, and your burden gets lifted.  And let’s face it, with all that goes on in each of our lives, we can all use a little less burden on our shoulders.