Leadership & Letting Go
Woke up this morning, came downstairs, powered up my computer and contemplated on what to write in this blog today. As I waited for things to boot up, I did a quick scan of my email box. In there, I found a notification that indicated someone had unsubscribed from my newsletter mailing list. And it’s someone I know. Someone who I believed was getting value from being connected with me and plugging in to my business world. The email removal request was surprising — and, I’ll admit it, it hurt just a bit. Until I remembered something: her choice to remove her name from my email list is about her, her needs, and where she’s at; it’s really not about me.
I mean, yes, it’s probably fair to assume (and I really try not to assume if at all possible) that for some reason she’s no longer getting value out of my publication. It may even be that she’s purging a whole lot of things from her life at this moment, and my newsletter happens to fall within the scope of all of that. Regardless, however, I can’t dwell on the fact that she’s removed herself. I can, if I wish, determine the reason why and see how I might address that need. And, her need may in fact have nothing to do with me, or it may not be something that I can meet. This is actually where I need to stay really clear on what I do and don’t do, have confidence in the value I bring to those who remain within my database, and truly lean in to the wisdom of the saying that people come into your life for a reason, a season or a lifetime. Her reason or season may simply be up; and I need to allow that to be okay.
Believe it or not, I can see the implications for leadership in this little experience. Sometimes, as a leader, you can become attached to certain people. You can begin to think that they’ll be in the picture forevermore. And the result is that you can have difficulty letting go when you need to let go, which means you’ll stagnate a bit. Leadership requires you to be willing to let go — either by your own choice, or by virtue of the fact that the person in question realizes that their path is taking them elsewhere. Your job as leader is to not take the changes or leavings personally, anchor yourself in what your about, tweak if need be, and continue to move forward.
Bottom-line: effective leadership requires you to learn how to let go with grace. It’s part of the whole deal. It’s the only way you can keep moving forward to whatever your vision is. You need to trust that letting go and the accompanying changes serve the big picture. And you’ve got to let go with grace so you can lead without stagnating.
There’s Something in the Air
You know, for the last few days there’s been something in the air. I wasn’t really aware of it at first; I made the assumption that what I was feeling was something inside ME. But then I started looking around, talking to others, and realized this is not just ME. This is a lot of people. And what I know from experience is that when a lot of people seem to be having the same feelings going on, it’s the energetic field that’s got something going on. Here’s what I’ve come to believe about the energy of the world right now: the voice of fear is drowning out the voices of trust, reason and love.
“So what?”, you might ask. Well, here’s what. When the voice of fear is as loud as it currently is, there’s a heaviness of heart that’s evident all around us. And that heaviness has people making snap decisions — decisions based in fear — which is rarely a good basis for a decision.
So what’s the solution? You play a game. The waiting game, more specifically. That’s right, you sit down, breathe, and wait things out. Let yourself get really still and quiet. Quiet your mind, quiet your tongue. Let the voice of fear shout itself out (you don’t have to listen to it) until it’s hoarse and then allow the other voices — the voices of trust, reason and love to make themselves heard. You’ll know that you’re hearing those voices when the heaviness in your heart lifts. And then, with a lighter heart, you can make your choices. Ironically, they may be the same choices as you were feeling inclined towards when listening to the voice of fear. When those choices are made in a spirit of trust, reason and love, howver, they’re more likely to garner results that serve. Which is a good thing.