When You Haven’t Got The Answer…
Ever have the feeling of just not knowing the answer? I know I do. And my clients often do. I think that’s just par for the course in this game called life. And it can be a very frustrating situation, no doubt about it.
As a coach, my specialty is asking questions. And what I know for sure is that sometimes it’s less about knowing the answer and more about knowing which question to ask. So often I see it happen where I’m in a quandry, wrestling with the world around me trying to find the answer — only to realize that I’ve been focusing on the wrong question. For example, I generally start my mornings by asking what intention I’m going to hold for the day. It’s a question that generally serves and I can usually come up with an answer fairly quickly. Sometimes, however, I just draw a blank. I don’t know what intention to hold. In those moments, I know it’s time to ask a different question, to change the focus as it were. On those days, questions like “what do I want today’s theme song to be?” or “If I could go through today as a colour, what would it be?” will get me moving like nobody’s business.
You’ll notice these next questions aren’t exactly orthodox. Nobody says they have to be. The question to hold, orthodox or not, is the one that has you find an answer. I guess the bottom-line is this: when you haven’t got an answer, and finding the answer feels like a struggle, it’s likely time to ask a different question. Try it. At the very least it’ll shift your energy. And that’s always a good thing.
The Answer is Blowin’ In The Wind
How do I know? Because it’s windy as heck outside, and I know that there’s a message in it for me! It reminds me of an experience I had last summer. I was at the 3rd of 4 retreats in Northern California (part of a leadership course I was engaged in) and we as a group were asked to go out and “be” with nature for 2 hours. We were given questions to contemplate while out there in nature. And I remember feeling like I had been given an incredible gift through the experience. I mean, how often in this fast-paced, go-go-go society are we actually allowed to “go out and just be”? Based on my own experience and what I hear from my clients, I assert this doesn’t happen often. So, by way of offering you the experience vicariously, let me share some learnings.
In one of my recent blog posts (it might even have been the last one!) I talked about the human need for connection. What I learned from the “be with nature” experience is that our need for connection can to some degree be met in nature. Our need for connection is, to some degree, simply a need to “be with” something, someone. At it’s very heart, the need is about “being with” and not about the entity with which you are being.
Another thing I learned from being with nature is that, if you are still enough and quiet enough, answers really are blowin’ in the wind. And when there isn’t any wind to speak of, it’s written in the clouds, or carried on the wings of a butterfly. There’s inspiration to be had in the natural world around you. Stop. Be still. Be quiet. You’ll see it and hear it, I assure you.
One of the things that’s coming to me is that it’s easier for me to commune with and connect with nature when the weather is “lovely” — today, for example is a beautiful, sunshiny, spring breezy sort of day. I can hear the bird and the rustle of leaves, I can feel the wind as it contrasts with the warmth of the sun’s rays on my arms. When it’s blizzrdy and cold, or pouring rain, however, I find my ability to hear the messages in nature wanes a little. I know in my heart of hearts that hte messages are still there. Inspiration is still there. I guess I just need to challenge myself to connect in those times as well.
Bottom-line: when I’m looking for an answer to a question — when YOU’RE looking for an answer to a question — taking some time to be still and listen, especially in the natural world, maybe jus the ticket. At the very least it’s rejuvenating. And it’s certain to provide a fresh, new perspective. Sometimes, that’s the only answer that’s needed.