Leaders are People Too

I’m here at the official end of my work week, looking back with gratitude and curiousity at what has been one hell of a roller-coaster ride, to say the least.  Ups, downs, twists, turns — these are the directions that my journey has taken this week, ending with a bit of goodness to sort of “round it all off” if you will.

While hurtling along on this thrill ride, I’ve found myself dealing with the whole spectrum of emotions: everything from sadness and anger, to joy and gratitude.  There’s even been a bit of wonder in there.  And what I noticed is that a lot of people, myself included, had difficulty at times being with that whole emotional range.  When I stood in the place of possibility, curiousity and optimism, most people were fine and comfortable hanging around.  But whenever I succumbed to the realm of sadness, anger or grief, all the “fixer-genes” seemed to come out — nobody wanted me to be in that space, and if I was going to be there, then they were going to leave.  It was as though I wasn’t allowed to experience that particular quality of emotion.

Well, here’s what I want to say — to myself ,to my chorus of saboteurs, my family, my friends, my colleagues, and heck, even to those of you who’ve never met me:  leaders are people too.  By which I mean that everyone, no matter who they are or what they’re trying to achieve in the world has ups and downs, joys and sorrows, fears and quandries.  And furthermore, everyone is allowed to have these, to experience these, to be with these,and to move forward when they’re ready.

This isn’t about perfection or imperfection.  This is about getting, really understanding, that a complete life is marked by a complete range of experiences.  EVERYONE will experience joy, fear, sadness, anger, frustration, curiousity and whatever else you can think of.  Leaders, followers, optimists, pessimists, realists — everyone.  And when they do, there’s something to be said for simply allowing the experience to be, for bearing witness and standing alongside the person, rather than running to fix or trying to move them along.

Speaking (well, writing) as someone who’s just felt my world rocked by fear — as someone who doesn’t often get this scared — trust me on this.  Leaders are people too.  And sometimes, that’s all you need to know.

Seeing Stars — Without Getting Hit in the Head

Several years ago I read a great quote by Rumi — personally I found it so great that it made it into our Control Freak’s Guide to Living Lightly as the Chapter 6 lead-in:  “Let the waters settle; you will see stars and moon mirrored in your being.”  Everytime I read these words, or recall them as the case might be, I’m instantly transported to a place of stillness within me.  Which is a great thing.

The world in which we live is so fast-paced.  However focused and determined you might be, I can guarantee you that there are a million and one things (more or less) that are calling for your attention, working to distract you from your goal, at any given moment.  It’s for this reason that I find Rumi’s directive so meaningful.

Taking the time to “let the waters settle” is a good thing.  No matter what you’re working on or toward, allowing yourself to step back and breathe ensures that you don’t get so bogged down that you lose sight of what you’re intentions are.  One of my mentors, Karen Kimsey-House gave me a fabulous analogy one day as I was running around trying to get myself grounded; she said essentially said that, whenever you learn something new, engage in a new activity, or start to implement change, it’s like taking your hand, putting it in the  fishbowl of your life and stirring the water around.  It makes a mess and things get murky.  So you have to wait for the water and waves to get still, allowing everything to settle into whatever new formation it takes, so that you can see clearly and THEN take action.

So take a moment — and the weekend is as good a time as any — to sit down, breathe and let everything in your life slowly settle.  It’ll all still be there — an hour from now, tomorrow morning, or even after the weekend — and you’ll be able to see it all clearly and take clear action from there.  Seeing stars and moon — especially mirrored in your being — what a gift.