What do The Others Think?

I’ve done a few posts recently about leadership and listening, specifically about how the latter enhances the former.  Today’s post is going to take this a little further.  As a leader, I want you to consider how good you are at entertaining the ideas of others.

When it comes to leading effectively, you know by now (at least you do if you’ve been reading these posts!) that effective listening is integral to phenomenal leadership.  Listening in and of itself, however, isn’t enough.  You’ve got to be willing to entertain the ideas of others, entertain the possibility that you might be wrong,  and entertain the notion that “their” ideas may be more merit-filled than your own.  In fact, the ideas that are out there in the brains of others, may often hold the best solutions to whatever problem you’re facing in any given moment.

To be an effective leader, it behooves you to ask the question, “what do you think?” at least as often as you put forward your own ideas.  Furthermore, asking the question requires you to pay attention to the answer.  Really pay attention.  Hold the answer with respect and understand that you do not have the best answers all the time.  You may have the best answers some of the time; and so might others.

Bottom-line: the best leaders are not only willing to listen to others, they’re willing to entertain the ideas of others and even implement those ideas from time-to-time.  As a great leader  you understand that the world does not revolve around you.  This is another hallmark of great leadership

Take a Deep Breath, and BEGIN AGAIN

So, when I first started writing this blog post, my content was going to revolve around dealing with the myriad of ideas that flow my way on any given day.  It seemed like  a suitable subject; the last few weeks I’ve found myself to be inundated with a whack of ideas — a never-flowing stream of ideas — and determining what to entertain has felt challenging.  So I started — and finished — writing that post, and hit “PUBLISH”, only to realize that while I was typing, without my cluing in, my internet connection had been lost.  Which meant that my entire blog post, which I assumed was being automatically saved as I typed (which is what usually happens), was lost.  Gone.  May as well not have been entered at all.  Very, very frustrating.

What I realized, once I got over my initial frustration, was that this sort of thing happens.  Sometimes, it looks like my experience did — you lose something you thought you had.  Or, you can’t find it.  Or in other variations of the theme,  a client you were counting on decides to go elsewhere.  Or something you wanted to buy is out of stock when you get to the store.  Plans you were looking forward to fall through.  Life is filled with supposed set-backs, curve balls, surprises.  However you frame it, these things can throw you off, at least momentarily.  The question is, what do you do with that experience?

Well, it feels to me like I’m learning and relearning this lesson a lot.  Which I’m guessing is a good thing.  At the very least, it allows me to pass my learnings on to you.  In this context, I could easily have decided that the universe didn’t want me to write a post today, and let it go.  I think it would have been a valid course of action, and I could have moved on to other items on my to-do list.  Alternatively, I could have thrown in the towel and decided that I should just go back to bed and take the day off.   A little extreme possibly, but still an option.  Thirdly, I could have tried to recreate the original article; indeed I did try that for about 2 minutes, but when the frustration got to be unbearable, I let that idea go too.  What I did choose to do in the end, was take a deep breath (actually, 5-10 deep breaths), and start again.  As I allowed myself to entertain the idea of starting fresh, as I let go of the need to rewrite what I had written the first time, new ideas and possibilities opened up.  I felt my anxiety dissipate, and found that I could move on.  It wasn’t in the direction that I originally anticipated, and it was okay.  It was more than okay.  It got me unstuck.

Bottom-line:  having to begin again can feel ridiculously frustrating.  My sense is that when you allow yourself to take a deep breath first, and then begin again, what you’re actually doing is clearing the space for new stuff.  So while the title of this post would suggest that the emphasis is on beginning again, what I really want is for you to understand the importance of breathing through the process.  The deep breathing is what will facilitate the beginning again, making everything come out alright in the end.

Forced to Slow Down

Well, the last week has been a very interesting one to say the least. “A lesson in slowing down” could well have been the overarching theme — what it takes to do so, how it looks, and how to listen to your body.  I got knocked out for the count with a double-whammy of the flu (they think “the big one”) and pneumonia in my right lung.  Talk about complete achiness, difficulty breathing and constant fatigue.  If that doesn’t cause you to slow down for a bit nothing will.

Here’s one of the things that I noticed.  You see, I’m a big advocate of slowing down.  It’s a way of showing up in the world that I expound upon regularly.  That being said, what I learned is that there’s a big difference between CHOOSING to slow down (which is what I’m generally talking about) and being FORCED to slow down (which is what I feel happened to me).  The forced aspect really does leave you feeling out of control, helpless and — in my case anyway — a little fearful of what might be around the corner.

All that being said, whether you are forced to slow down or choose the condition freely, there really is a way in which life suddenly has an opportunity to catch up with you.  What I noticed in my case is that, despite the fact that I was flat on my back, unable to work (and for a self-employed person, that’s a little un-nerving), seeds that I had planted out there in the world did continue to grow.  While it did feel like everything around me had slowed down, the fact was that things were moving forward still as well.  And, by letting go and surrendering to the process as completely as possible, my brain was given free rein to explore thoughts and ideas that I would otherwise keep at bay.

So now, while I’m definitely not at 100%, I am back with a bit of new-found energy.  I’ve got some new ideas for energizing old ideas.  I’ve got some insight into what I really want to do and what sorts of structures I want to put in place, just in case I’m ever knocked off my feet again.  And I’ve got a new appreciation for what I always knew was important, but hadn’t necessarily embraced fully:  the need to slow down.  And for those of you who are wondering, even while I was out for the count, I did in fact still play with the challenge of no complaining at all — talk about interesting!  But that is another story.

Bottom-line:  take time to slow down.  Really listen to your body and your heart, take time for yourself to rest and rejuvenate.  The benefits far outweigh the inconvenience of putting a project or two on hold.  And the world really will keep moving on.