Embracing the Space

So, I started my workday today as I often do — by logging on to my computer, connecting in to my social media sites, checking email and scanning my daytimer to see “what’s on the agenda.”  Each of these activities allows me to “get connected” and prepare for what’s ahead.

Today, I had a very interesting thing happen.  When I opened my email program, I was greeted by several messages from individuals who were needing to reschedule appointments, which is not a problem at all.  I’m nothing if not flexible.  As I responded to each request in turn, however, and then stopped to check my now altered agenda, I noticed that with the exception of one appointment, my entire calendar had been cleared for today.  That’s right, every single appointment had been rescheduled to later in the week.  Which means that I’ve been presented with a very spacious day.

As I sat with this noticing for a bit, I was surprised by the different internal reactions I experienced.  On one hand, there was a bit (albeit a small bit) of frustration over having to rejig things.  Not major; and it was there.  Along with this, almost in opposition to this, there was a feeling of “freedom” — that’s the best word I can think of — a sense of having the option to use my time as I wanted, rather than having it be punctuated by appointments.  This gave rise to a sense of gratitude — after all, it’s like being given the gift of time in abundance, time to address those tasks that often fall to the bottom of the to-do list.

Then there was this really weird feeling, perhaps the feeling that surprised me most of all. For this, I can find no single-word description.  Instead, I’ll have to resort to a combination of words — it was a mix of curiousity and angst.  It’s like I was excited about what would unfold on this day that was suddenly wide-open, and nervous about it all at the same time.  I mean, why the heck is the universe clearing my calendar for me?  What’s up?

As I sit here post-lunch, here’s what I know for sure.  In the midst of all of these feelings, there’s a paradoxical desire to simultaneously “use my time wisely” — dive into busy-work and get things done as it were — and to give myself over to the time that’s presented itself.  This morning, I’ve done a bit of both.  I’ve absolutely tackled some “mundane” tasks — the filing, the research, the organizing — things that would ordinarily be overlooked in service of more important things.  But I’ve also allowed myself to just sit, breathe and listen.  I still don’t know exactly why the space opened up for me.  And I don’t think I need to know, at least not yet.  Sitting, breathing and listening is allowing my head to clear, my thoughts to crystalize, ideas to form.   And so I’ve let go of needing to know, and simply embraced the spaciousness, letting my mind wander, doing what I feel called to do, and trusting that it’s all good.

Bottom-line learning:  when the universe hands you a gift, in this case the gift of time, go ahead and be aware of your reaction.  And, don’t let your noticings rob you of embracing and enjoying the gift.  All will become clear when it’s meant to.

Experience the Shift

I’m into week two of a new project that I’m undertaking.  Not a big “take it to the world” sort of project; but rather a simple, “time to shift my life” project.  Essentially, it’s a way for me to take everything I know intellectually — stuff I’ve learned, stuff I’ve heard about, stuff I’ve experienced but lost along the way — and put it into concrete practice.  It’s not a mastermind group, but it is a way to harness and utilize true, authentic mastermind energy.

Several years ago, I was part of an authentic mastermind group.  This was a group that met weekly to start, and then bi-weekly, with the sole purpose of having its members speak their visions and desires, express gratitude for what was present and what was being manifested, have others bear witness to their dreams of success and their actual success, all without going to the consultative, brainstorming space.  Powerful stuff it was.

For various reasons, the group eventually disbanded.  And two weeks ago, myself and another member of the original group decided to harness the same energy, with just the two of us.  Our goal is to keep things pithy and concise, really concrete and as tangible as possible.  We begin by expressing an overall “manifestation” for the week — what is it we’re aiming to create this week?  From there we move into gratitude — simple expression of pure gratitude for what is.  Then, we share our successes of the day.  And the last step is to request how we want to be “held” in our manifestation — how do we want the other person to think of us, when they think of us at all, so the universe gets the same message all around?

Some may consider this sort of structure hoaky.  Well, what I know for sure is that stuff is SHIFTING like it wasn’t shifting before.  Clients are showing up, money is showing up, ideas are showing up, programs are filling, speaking requests are coming in, bookings are being made, to-do lists are being crossed off — all great stuff.  Sometimes, the things that show up aren’t quite as I would have envisioned.  And it’s still showing up.  Which forces me to express more gratitude and stay anchored in joy; which forces more stuff showing up.  It’s a cycle, you see.

As a leader, what I know is that I must model the power of standing in gratitude, even if I do nothing else.  There’s a way that leadership visions are infused with power, when gratitude is the anchoring force.  So find your gratitude, express it and experience the shift.  It’s an experience you don’t want to miss.

A Way to Wrap Up 2009

I’ve just had an idea, so figured I’d blog about it.  I’m always challenging myself to break out of the norm, find new ways to be with the world and myself.  This time of year is generally seen as a time of celebration and reflection, simultaneously.  The celebration, of course, is all about thanksgiving, sharing and joyful connection in most traditions.  And the reflection, at least for me, is about looking at this year that’s passed, taking stock, and then channeling those reflections into intentions and goals for the year ahead.  With this in mind, I conjured my new idea

Look back on the past 12 months and fill in the following blanks:

• I am _______________
• I’ve done _____________
• My favourite moment was ________________
• I laughed the most when _______________
• I know now that _________________
• I’m blessed because __________________
• I’m thankful for _____________________
• I’m surrounded by ______________________
• I discovered that _____________________
• I know I can do __________________

It occurs to me that a list such as this will allow me to take stock.  But what I really like about it is that once I’ve filled in the blanks for 2009, I can rewrite the list, pretend I’m looking back on 2010 once it’s passed, and fill in the blanks AGAIN.  In other words, with one simple activity, I can reflect and give thanks AND set my goals and intentions for the new year.  In the latter context, my blanks will be filled in based on the answers I have to this question:  “What do I want to be able to say come December 31, 2010?”

I don’t know, for me, it’s all about fun, new, fresh and intriguing. These questions seem to capture some of these qualities for me.  I believe they’ll work for you too.

Blessings: In Disguise and Otherwise

So, tomorrow is American Thanksgiving.  To my American friends and followers, “Happy Thanksgiving!”  As a Canadian, it’s been just over a month since I celebrated and gave thanks with my family.  Not sure why our Thanksgiving holidays are on different days, but they are.  And yet, despite that, the intention is the same, obviously:  to pause, and give thanks for blessings, in disguise and otherwise.  The kicker, of course, is that our focus is very much on the “otherwise” — the blessings that are perhaps more obvious and visible.  That being said, the ones in disguise really do warrant our gratitude as well.

For example, I’ve had numerous (and I do mean NUMEROUS) experiences this past week of having scheduled appointments fall through at the last minute.  Reasons have been varied, everything from illness to double-booking, to simply forgetting.  And while my initial reaction is quite often one of exasperation (it can certainly be frustrating to feel “stood up” in any way, shape or form), I’ve actually had some fun flipping the perspective of inconvenience into one of blessing.  You see, each and every rescheduling or rejigging afforded me the opportunity to have the gift of timre that I didn’t originally have.  And for a woman who’s got a whole month of projects and activities to catch up on, unexpected time is absolutely welcome.

So, as you anticipate the pause to give thanks that arrives tomorrow, my request of you is that you look beyond the obvious.  While I know you’re thankful for the abundance of good things, the opportunities in your life, your family and friends, what I really want to know is, what blessings are in your life that are just waiting to be noticed?  What have you not yet acknowledged?  Make a game out of it.  Toss marbles in a jar as you enumerate the myriad of blessings in your life.  Notice how quickly it fills up — and use more than one jar if you need to.

The bottom-line, I believe, is that we are all markedly more blessed than we realize.  Sometimes we simply need to change our lenses — or at the very least, clean our lenses — in order to see the bounty that surrounds us.  There really is much to be thankful for.  Happy Thanksgiving all!

Time to Take Stock (aka, Appreciate What’s Here)

I’ve had an exceedingly productive day thus far.  Technically, I’ve got another couple of hours in which I could work.  And yet, I’m feeling called to shift gears a bit, move out of productive work mode, and move into a slower-paced “taking stock” mode.  This is one of the ways that I allow myself to hang out in the land of appreciation and gratitude.

You see, I know what I’m heading for most of the time.  I’ve got a clear sense of direction and purpose, and a few well-planned goals to head towards.  But what I know for sure is that when I just keep plowing forward, when I don’t take time to savour, appreciate and express gratitude, the fun begins to dwindle — as does the sense of inspiration and motivation.

So, I’m going to dive into the creation of an inventory of sorts, a “things to appreciate in my life right here, right now, on the 5th of August, 2009″ list.  Here goes:

• fabulous summer vacation in california
• memories created with the entire Jacob family together – these can’t be bought
• boogie-boarding in the pacific ocean
• first “Trip to the spa” with my daughter — more to come, you just know it
• had the season’s first corn on the cob last week — yummy and sweet
• my son has reached the double-digits in age — love watching my kids grow
• every one in my family is experiencing milestones this year — neat to reflect on this
• barbeque season is nice and long
• angel food cake grilled on the barbeque with strawberries – yum
• feeling the strength in my body as I run, cycle and do weights
• checkin’ out rides at grandkids day
• summer evenings lounging on the deck with a good book
• sheshe parties — purses, scarves and jewellery, oh my!
• new projects, products, ideas, insights
• restorative yoga sessions
• massage sessions
• short hair
• 14 years of wedded bliss
• best friends’ new babies — so cute!
• wedding fun
• wearing new colours
• telling jokes
• lying on the grass, watching the clouds
• anticipating watching the 6th harry potter movie
• episodes of Being Erica in re-runs — looking forward to next season
• laughing at Two and a Half Men
• watching the garden burst into colour
• watermelon – need I say more?
• cleaning, clearing, fenging and shui-ing

That feels like a lot so far — and I know there’s more. Which is a good thing.  So I’m gonna go and continue to appreciate and stand in gratitude.  So much good stuff in my life.  Gives meaning and purpose to the work that I’m doing.

What will it take for you to take stock?  And what will you discover when you do?

From “Please” to “Thank You”

The message of gratitude is everywhere.  Over the last decade, it’s as though the world has finally awoken to the fact that while there is much to long for, there is just as much (if not more) to be thankful for.   Really, expressing this thanks, standing in the abundance that is here NOW, is a great way to allow whatever it is you’re longing for to show up as well.

In some ways, I’m reminded of some of my interactions with my children.  The big request right now is for a dog (yep, we’ve reached the “Can’t we have a dog?” phase of childhood — actually, my son’s been here for a while, but we’ve managed to keep the idea at bay due to allergies!).  Allergies and such aside, what my husband and I have explained to our twosome, truthfully, is that as parents, we’d like to see our children being appreciative of and responsible for the things they already have, before entrusting them with another pet.  They’ve already got a hamster and a fish.  The children each have responsibilities related to each pet.  Some days these responsibilites are met; other days, those same responsiblities are neglected and if anything, there’s a barrage of sighing and grumbling about the amount of work that needs to be done.  Which provides my husband and I the opportunity to say, “if you can’t be grateful and responsible for what you have, how can we responsibly give you more?”

When it comes right down to it, I’m sure the universe gives us as humans similar responses. I’m certain that, even as we get clear on what we want and start asking for that, there’s a way in which the universe says “but are you appreciative of what you’ve GOT RIGHT NOW?”

Given the limitations of our humand, fairly linear-thinking brains, I believe that there’s a story we’ve got going that says “I ask for something, I get it, then I show gratitude.”.   What I want to entertain is the possibility that the process is more circular.  In other words, we can start with any of the three points.  And I think, starting with gratitude actually serves better.  Being grateful for what’s here right now, keeps you grounded in the present.  Being grateful for what’s here right now shows that you can be resonsible for more.  Being grateful for what’s here right now creates the space for what you’re wanting to show up.

Bottom line:  it isn’t necessarily that you must first ask, then receive, then give thanks.  Instead, it can actually serve to start by giving thanks.  Show your appreciation — truthfully, genuinely, in a heart-felt way.  Then you can ask.  And be grateful again.

How’s Your Serve?

Today I’m going to do something a little different in this blog post.  I’m goign to begin by sharing a poem that I love; it’s called “The Fixer” and unfortunately, I don’t know the author.  Here goes:

A fixer has the illusion of being causal.

A server knows he or she is being used in the service of something greater, essentially unknown.

We fix something specific.

We serve always the something: wholeness and the mystery of life.

Fixing and helping are the work of the ego.

Serving is the work of the soul.

When you help, you see life as weak.

When you fix, you see life as broken.

When you serve, you see life as whole.

Fixing and helping may cure.

Serving heals.

When I help, I feel satisfaction.

When I serve, I feel gratitude.

Fixing is a form of judgment.

Serving is a form of connection.

As I was eating breakfast this morning, I found this poem popping into my memory.  Likely because I was standing in gratitude and joy about the work that I’m able to do, which I believe is a form of service.  And it got me thinking about the subtle difference between helping and serving as so eloquently described in this poem.

You see, it can be really easy to fall prey to the ego, especially when the work you do is a part of the “helping professions”.  I mean, who doesn’t like to feel good, valued, or like they’ve got a solution that nobody else has?  And yet, even as I ask the question I know I can hear — and I’m sure you can too — a very self-serving quality (aka “ego-based”). Which really, if you think about it, defeats the purpose of helping anyway, doesn’t it?  When you stand in service, however, the attention is taken off of you and turned outward.  And when your attention is turned outward, the work that happens is the work that’s needed in the world, rather than the work that the ego needs to maintain it’s sense of worth.

Here’s another bonus that arises when you let go of the supposed need to help and step into the place of service:  you can let go of a certain quality of responsibility.  Notice that I’m talking about a quality of responsibility, not responsibility as a whole.  In serving, you still hold responsibility for your actions; however, you don’t have to have information or know-how unbeknownst to others.  Serving isn’t about you in any way, shape or form.  Serving is about connecting with humanity as a whole, from the place of awareness and gratitude, knowing that connection and gratitude together fill the world with whatever’s needed in the moment.  I’m not sure I can explain it much beyond that.  All I know is that, ever since I read this poem years ago, I’ve approached my work from the place of service more often than not, and felt a sense of liberation and humbling that simply doesn’t arise when I’m “helping” my clients.  Which leads me to ask you:  how’s your serve?  Or perhaps more importantly, how will you serve?  Trust me; figure this out and your life will feel richer, fuller, and more complete.  Here’s to living a life of service!