Don’t Force It, Flow With It

I don’t usually work on weekends.  I much prefer to spend my weekends engaged in household and family activities; meals together, laundry, groceries, family games and movies, my son’s hockey games, my daughter’s dance classes, church — clearly there’s more than enough to fill my weekends without throwing work in there.   That being said, last night was an exception.  I needed and wanted to spend some time tweaking the content for the first recording session of my upcoming radio show.  The show itself airs this coming Sunday for the first time, and recording is today.  While the content was essentially done, there were tweaks I wanted to make, to ensure that I am comfortable with this experience.

While sitting and playing away (it felt like playing for the most part), the creative juices just weren’t flowing.  And I found myself in the very real dilemma of knowing that the task needed to be done, but feeling like I was beating my head against a wall.  Slowly — very slowly — I managed to craft and tweak for a time, and then I realized that the effort wasn’t resulting in equal output; I was putting in a lot of effort for poor quality results.  I realized I was trying to force something that just wasn’t happening.  So I decided to let it go — for then.

In doing so, I released my brain from the need to create something that just wasn’t coming together.  And I realized my mental energy, allowing myself to just settle into a state of relaxation.  The result?  This morning when I revisited the task, I was able to accomplish in 60 minutes twice as much as was possible in 2 1/2 hours last night.  Why I didn’t stop sooner is beyond me.  No it’s not; the reason I didn’t stop sooner was because I allowed myself to buy into a mental story that said I HAD to get it done NOW.  Which was silly — the essence was there, and the finer points were better tweaked when I was in the mental space for it.  When I could flow with the ideas, rather than force the concept.

As leaders, there’s a lot of pressure to get things done now.  Sometimes the pressure is to get things done yesterday.  And while deadlines are very real and usually need to be honoured, working under the pressure may serve sometimes; and sometimes it gets in the way.  The trick is knowing when pressure’s working for you, and when it’s forcing you to try and fit a square peg in a round hole.  When it comes right down to it, it’s always better to flow with the process, rather than force it.

When An Idea Finally Breaks Through

So I’ve been sitting in this sort-of cocoon for a bit now, feeling this idea germinate, but not knowing when (or if) it would ever break through and come into being.  Well, last night at around 3 a.m., it did.  All I can say is “yippee!!”

Now, I will admit that at 3 a.m., I’m not all that coherent or lucid.  Ideas that come to me then are often forgotten by morning, leaving me with a feeling of frustration.  Because I’m often aware that I HAD an idea, I just can’t remember what it was.  Well last night, when the idea came to me, part of me knew I didn’t want to lose it.  So, in the dark I groped around for a pen and notepad and scrawled a note to myself.  This morning, believe it or not, the note was legible and the excitement of having birthed a new idea returned.

I know, you want to know what the idea is.  Well, in a nutshell, I’ve finally (after much processing and evolving) crystalized my coaching niche, at least in it’s newest form.  I’m fully aware that niches change, you see.  That’s what been causing me such angst.  I’ve been aware that my niche has needed refinement, I just couldn’t nail down the language to describe my coaching niche in it’s newly evolved form.  Well, now I’ve got it.  Ready?   My new niche is women CEO’s in Fortune 500 companies.  My focus is still as a life balance expert — I’m just taking this expertise to this very specific demographic.  And let me tell you, having nailed it down, I can feeeeeeeel the resonance.  Which is a darn good thing.

So now I’m into research phase.  Getting names and contact info, crystallizing my marketing materials.  The funny thing is that there’s a new-found momentum behind each of these tasks now.  I’ve been working on them for a while, but now things are flowing.

Bottom-line:  when an idea finally breaks through, so does the dam that’s been holding back the momentum to generate great work.  It’s a darn good feeling, let me tell you.

Stand Your Ground AND Go With The Flow

Seems paradoxical, doesn’t it?  I’m not trying to be.  It’s just that I’ve had ample opportunity this past week to experiment and play with the idea of standing my ground.  As you know, I’m implementing new ideas, launching new products and basically allowing my company to morph in ways never imagined when I started coaching 6 years ago.  And what I’ve realized, as I’ve gone with the flow of inspiration, is that when I choose to go with an idea — when I choose to run with a new notion — I’ve got to simultaneously choose to stand my ground and stick with it until it catches the wind and takes off.

Napoleon Hill says that successful people are those who make decisions quickly and change them slowly if at all (or words to that effect).  In other words, you’ve got to be open to inspiration, catch hold of the idea as it makes itself known to you, then hold on until you get irrefutable signs that it’s time to let go.  You cannot waffle in the face of what appears to be rejection.

Bottom-line:  if you’ve got an idea that excites you, go with it.  Do what it takes to make it a reality.  Be prepared to hold on to your vision, even when it seems to take a while to take root.  Eventually, it will, so long as you’re willing to stand your ground.  And when it takes root, it will bear fruit, whatever that looks like.  I personally am choosing to stand my ground and go with the flow — that is actually what I’m feeling inspired to do.

Time To Let It Go

Yup, 2nd blog post for today.  Some days are like that, I’ve got things to say and my blog provides the perfect outlet.  So here’s my latest “a-ha” moment to share with you.  Ready for it?  Here it is: before you can let something in, you’ve got to let something out!

This may  or may not seem like a profound thought to you.  And admittedly, it’s not a brand new one for me.  It’s interesting, however, how I am reminded of these things at various times.  And it would appear that it was time for me to be reminded that holding on to stuff, no matter what it is, doesn’t allow for other stuff to be let in.

I think what I’m most struck by in this moment is how this applies to emotional “stuff”.  I know, for example, that what I want in my life experience is as much joy as possible.  I get that I can’t be totally rid of sadness, anger, grief, etc; — life wouldn’t be complete without those things and indeed they are needed in order to provide contrast — that “full range of experience” thing that I’ve talked about before.  What I noticed today, however, is that in my effort to have more joy than not, what I sometimes do is try to squash (read as “deny”) the presence of sadness, fear, grief, anger rather than release it.  I sometimes forget that giving expression to an emotion is a way of releasing it, thereby creating room for what I really want.

So, what do YOU want in your life?  Whether you’re talking about something tangible or not, the truth is that you need to create space for what you want by letting go of what you don’t want.  So here’s my challenge to you – start letting things go and letting things out.  Create the space so you’ve got room for what you want.  I think it’s probably a more effective way to operate than trying to hold on to absolutely everything.  Letting go and being in the flow are essentially two parts of the same thing.  That’s my two-cents worth for now.