In The Face of Cynicism

Who knew that cynicism could start so early.  How early?  Well, apparently 9-year olds can be cynical.  I had no idea.

If you’ve been following my blog for a while, you’re probably aware that one of my intentions as a parent is to teach my children, and model for my children, the creative power that we each have, the power that is rooted in intention and deliberate, conscious choice.  With this in mind, one of our morning rituals before my kiddies head off to school is for us each to state one goal for the day, and what kind of day we’re striving to create.  So, oftentimes, my children will head out the door after having stated confidently something like, “My goal is to have a fun day and to do well in my math quiz.”  At the end of the day, or over dinner, we have an opportunity to check in on these goals and intentions.  As I said, for me it’s about having them learn and understand that they do have some say in how things go.

Well, this morning we had two of my daughter’s friends with us for the before-school time (mom had to go to work early, and I was happy to help out with childcare).  When I asked my daughter what kind of day she was going to have, I distinctly heard her 9-year old friend say, with a tone of utter disdain, “What kind of day is she going to have?  How can she know?  I don’t know what kind of day I’m going to have until it’s done?!!!!”  Now, while I understand that for some this whole concept is novel — I just wasn’t prepared for the cynicism.  That very cynicism is what gets in the way of people claiming their co-creative power and potential.

So, knowing that this cynicism starts early, I am increasing my commitment to modeling and teaching these strategies to my children.  And, I want to challenge you to do the same.  I firmly believe that intentionally deciding what kind of day you’re going to have serves better than the conventional “wait-and-see” paradigm.  It all begins by answering this question:  What kind of day are YOU going to have?

Time to Tweak Time (????)

So, was reminded today that it’s been a while since I posted a blog entry.  Thanks for the gentle nudge, Kimberly!

Yes, things have had me a little scattered lately.  Indeed, I’ve had a few wake-up calls to the fact that I’m definitely being pulled in several directions, and that my focus is hardly 100% here-and-now.  No worries — and it’s a good lesson in awareness for me.

One of the things we do in our household, before we each depart for whatever it is that the day holds for us, is set a goal/intention.  How do we want our day to be?  What do want to accomplish?  It can be big, little, in-between — but we all do it, even the kidlets.  It’s a great way to “point ourselves” so-to-speak.  And today, my intention is to “tweak time”, or more specifically how I interact with it, how I use it (or don’t), and how I dance with what shows up vs. what’s already on my “to-do” list.

I’m aware that part of what’s going on for me is a sense of wanting to do a LOT of things.  My podcast is just about ready to go live (March 18th is the scheduled launch); my co-author and I have just committed to launch in the writing of the 2nd book in our series (gulp! and yeah! all at once); my children have dance competitions and hockey tournaments; I’m aiming to run a marathon next year, which means starting to train now; every day I wake up with a new business project idea; and then there’s just the everyday workings of a professional woman in today’s society.  In other words, I’m juggling all the same stuff my clients juggle (which is good — it allows me to walk my talk).

And so, it’s time for me to revisit my “ideal week” — check out how I’m actually spending my time, and tweak what isn’t working.  Remembering that nothing is written in stone, it’s time for me to re-carve my schedule, play with new ways of playing, and have some fun.  In other words, it’s time to lighten up — unburden myself of some of the load and have some fun.  Join me on the ride?  It should be a fun one!

It is Almost Holiday Time: Can you Handle It?

The holidays are quickly approaching.  Whether your celebration revolves around Christmas, Hannukah, Diwali or something else altogether, the time that is bookended by Halloween and New Year’s always seems to be filled with a hustle-and-bustle of activity.  There are parties to plan for, gifts to purchase, cards to be mailed, baking and cooking to be undertaken – the to-do list seems to grow exponentially.  Simultaneously, the feeling of overwhelm seems to swell.

So, how does one get through the holidays without feeling burnt-out by the end of it all?  Believe it or not, there is a way.  It’s called “playing a different game”.  That’s right.  It’s time to rewrite the holiday rules so that you can move through the festivities without losing your sense of perspective, your experience of joy, and the “happy” in “happy holidays”.  To help you out, here are 5 tried-and-true steps to follow:

1.    Ask yourself, what is it that you want to EXPERIENCE?
So often we focus on the trappings – the gifts, the food, the decorations – that we forget what we really want to feel.  Maybe it’s “meaning”, or “memories”, or “fun”.  Whatever it is, find the word that resonates for YOU.

2.    Brainstorm ways to infuse the holidays with the particular quality that’s
important to you.  For example, if you want your holidays to be about “memories”, plan activities to support this.  Perhaps you provide a disposable camera and mini-scrapbook for everyone.  Or maybe you come up with a theme for this year so that forever after, 2007 is known as the Christmas of _________.  Get creative; after all, this is about rewriting the rules!

3.    Lose the sense of guilt.  “They’ll expect a big gift”, “But I have to spend a certain amount”, “They won’t like a homemade card”, are all examples of the external expectations which we take on internally.  It’s time to let these go.  Remember, if you want the holidays to provide a certain experience for you, then it’s up to you to set the parameters that will allow such an experience to be real.

4.    Get comfortable with being different.   This may be a challenging idea, but in many ways, it is the key.  Stop trying to be like everyone else.  Make the holidays unique and representative of you, so that you’re not trying to be the square peg fitting into a round hole.

5.    Find a structure to help you remember the essence of what you’re going for.  Perhaps you wear a treasured piece of jewelry as a reminder of the memories you want to create.  Or maybe a pair of reindeer antlers becomes your token accessory as you strive to infuse the holidays with fun.

Bottom-line:  identifying how you want the holidays to be is the first step to experiencing a truly happy holiday.  Once you know what you want to experience, then you can choose the activities that will help you live that out. Trust me – the holidays aren’t meant to be a time of stress.  My wish for you is that you feel able to wish everyone a “happy holiday” and mean it.  Have fun rewriting your holiday rules.  May your holiday experience be exactly what you’re looking for.  Wishing you a joyful, meaningful, fun-filled holiday time – and yes, I absolutely mean it ? !