Recognizing the Power of You

Yesterday I wrote about your ability to impact the energy around you.  As a human being, this is one of your super-powers, so to speak.  As a leader, this particular super-power is one which you can harness and use for incredible good.  Along the same lines, there is an incredible power that resides in you, that is felt simply in the way you show up.  I call this the power of being.  Everyone’s got and yet, as a leader, when you’re at your best, your power of being is capable of accomplishing so much, impacting so much, and you don’t have to say a thing.

As a powerful — as in effective, not dictatorial — leader, there’s a way that your message, your vision, your ideas are so well known and articulated, that those around you know what you’re about, what you want, whether you speak or not.  You don’t have to say a word, whether in reprimand, suggestion, or praise for people to understand where you’re at.  Not that you walk around as a mute; but rather that you don’t HAVE to speak; your presence speaks for itself.  This is an extension of the idea that you have the power to impact and shift the energy around you.  You actually have the power to convey your message energetically, silently, simply by virtue of the fact that everything you do, say and stand for is in alignment and congruence.  How cool is that?

Bottom-line:  as an effective leader, your very presence has power.  People around you know what you want and what you’re about without you every speaking a word.  Your carriage, your actions, your wishes — all of these are in alignment.  And so, your message speaks for itself, through your very power of being.

Shifting the Energy

So here’s the thing:  every single one of you exudes energy in some form.  And, you are impacted by the energy that others exude.  Energy is all around, you create it and you respond to it.  As a leader, it is particularly important for you to be aware of this.  Why?  Because knowing how your energy impacts those around you is vital to the effectiveness of your leadership.

“You know you’re an effective leader when the energy in a room shifts for the better when you walk in it.”  This is the first indicator of effective leadership that I listed in last week’s blog post about signs of effective leadership.  You may or may not be all that conscious of the energy you exude or create in the world.  And yet, I want to invite you to start paying attention.  What’s the impact you have on the space around you?  When you chair a meeting, how does your team respond?  When you walk into the office, what do you notice about how people respond?  Do they greet you positively?  Pretend they didn’t see you?  Cower in fear?  All of these responses are indicative of the energy you emit, and you can shift the energy so that the response — the impact — out there is positive.  As a leader, that’s what you’re looking for.

Bottom-line:  if the energy of the people around you goes flat, deflates, or decreases in anyway when you show up as a leader, you are likely not having the impact that best serves your leadership vision.  Increase your energy in a positive light, and you’ll increase the power of your leadership.  It’s a good thing.

Keeping a Clear Head

It’s inevitable.  The way things are, with the sheer number of tasks we undertake and the commitments we make to ourselves and those around us, as women leaders our brains are often filled to capacity with a myriad of details.  There’s so much to keep track of!  Schedules, numbers, finances, to-do-lists, to-call-lists, etc;.  In speaking with a number of clients and colleagues this week, this “my brain is full” tendency appears to be almost epidemic.

From what I can see and what I’ve experienced myself, this “full-brain syndrome” isn’t a problem in and of itself.  The challenge arises when our brains keep being filled without our conscious awareness, because then we can’t do anything tangible to deal with the fullness, and eventually, things start to either implode or explode, depending on the circumstances.  Headaches are often a sure sign that there’s way too much going on in the brain — whether this is scientific fact or not I’m not sure; I just know that this has been my experience and what I’ve witnessed.  And if not headaches, then an inability to retain information — it’s as though the brain reaches a point of capacity at which it says, “sorry, no more; everything else can just stay out.”

So, aside from taking pain relievers, staying hydrated and simply saying “no” to additional information, what can one do to keep a clear head?  Well, there’s a simple law that says what goes in, must go out.  It’s just the way it is.  So you need to find a way to expend that which you take in.  A simple way is to journal.  The challenge that arises with journalling is that so often people feel compelled to “do it right”.  The irony is that there is no “right” way to journal.  Just pick up a pen and start writing!  Your book doesn’t have to be fancy, you don’t have to worry about grammar and spelling, journaling is simply about clearing your mind, getting your thoughts out so that you can allow space for what needs to come in next.  It’s a way of processing information rather than holding on to it.

Another strategy for keeping the brain clear is to talk.  That’s right — let it all out verbally.  You can talk to a friend, a family member or a professional such as a coach or therapist, or you can simply vent out loud to no-one in particular (doing this in public may cause others some concern, so you might want to do this in the confines of your home!).  The point is to get your thoughts and ideas out.  This type of releasing can provide a fresh perspective on what might otherwise seem problematic.

A final method of clearing is to focus on simply releasing energy from your whole self.  Exercise of some sort — walking, running, biking, yoga, stretching, whatever — provides a physical release which, while not seeming directly related to the build up of stuff in your mind, still allows your head to clear of the stuff you don’t need to be holding.  Whatever the process is, it really does clear your head.

When it comes right down to it, the best way to function and move through your day is to keep your mind clear of all distractions.  In order for this to happen, you must make a habit of clearing your head regularly.  Finding a strategy or combination of strategies to assist in this process is essential.  So find the way that works for you.  Keep a clear head, and everything flows easier.  That’s the bottom-line.

When The Fatigue Sets In (And It Will)

I know you know the feeling.  You’re bopping along, going about your business, sometimes for days or weeks on end, relatively uneventfully, accomplishing things, meeting with people, basically getting things done.  All of a sudden, out of nowhere, you get jolted by the realization that you are tired.  Not just “oh-I-could-use-a-nap” tired, but really, “I-could-crawl-into-a-cave-and-hibernate” tired.  It’s rather like a wave that just comes along and almost knocks you off your feet, this type of fatigue.  It happens.

What I’ve noticed, both in my observations of myself and others, is that there can be a tendency to try and deny the fatigue.  Rather like a mentality that says “if I ignore this, it will go away” — except that it doesn’t.  Instead, it gets somewhat worse.  And the more it gets ignored, the worse it will get until it borders on the edge of debilitating.  And so, I’ve learned to notice and pay attention to  this fatigue earlier.  And I’ve developed some strategies for moving through it, addressing it if you will.  Here are my 5 favourite  strategies for coping:

1. Take a break.  It seems so simple, and yet it’s so often overlooked.  The truth, however, is that if you can take a break, you can easily avoid needing to utilize any of the other strategies.  The break doesn’t have to be long — even a 15 minute hiatus will do it.  Enough time to breathe and refresh your brain.  Which brings me to the second strategy.
2. Breathe, consciously.  I know you breathe naturally — it’s a sure indicator that you’re alive, after all.  But breathing consciously is different.  It actually draws your attention away from whatever concerns are present for you, brings you back to basics, and rejuvenates you from within.  Which is a great thing.  You can check out the breathing space on my website homepage if you need a refresher (www.stellarcc.com).
3. Switch gears –which is different from taking a break.  When you switch gears, you stop the activity you’re engaged in currently, and take up something new, preferably something entirely different, requiring you to use a different set of mental and physical muscles.  Switching gears forces you into a fresh perspective, gets your stagnant juices flowing and therefore revitalizes you.
4. Turn off the television.  It can be easy to plunk yourself in front of the tv in the name of “vegging out.”  But there have been plenty of studies pointing to the fact that television isn’t exactly mindless and it does in fact keep your brain buzzing — which requires energy — which doesn’t, ultimately, help you rest.  So turn the boob-tube off.
5. Get active.  Seems counter-intuitive, I know.  When you’re fatigued, finding the energy to get off your chair can be too much, never mind going for a walk.  But getting your muscles working, getting the blood flowing, can actually get the energy flowing as well.  You don’t have to go and run a marathon — just move.  Tai chi, yoga, a walk around the block — simple movements can refresh like nothing else.

Bottom-line:  the fatigue is inevitable, especially if you’re a busy person.  And you can absolutely overcome it.  The first step is to not ignore it, but acknowledge it.  Then, choose one of the above strategies to address it and shift your energy.  You might need only 5 minutes, or you might need a whole day.  But implementing one or more of these strategies when fatigue sets in– or better yet, incorporating them regularly as a means of circumventing the fatigue — will allow you to be your most productive, well-rounded self.  Which is a good thing.

Excuse Me, But Do I Know You?

I’m sitting here this morning, typing this blog post and finding myself wondering about something that, admittedly, I’ve wondered about a fair bit in the last few months.  In really general terms, the topic which has my mind so preoccupied much of the time (although not all of the time) is that of technology and it’s ever-evolving role in our world.  On the surface, the emergence of various technological tools and mediums seems like progress; today, you can easily correspond and connect with someone on the other side of the world in a matter of seconds, using various internet tools such as skype, twitter or just standard email.  Just a few decades ago, such instant connection was impossible.  Provided the basic technology is present, no matter where you are in 2010, you are pretty much guaranteed to be able to connect with the outside world.   Which means — or at least seems to mean — that we are a highly connected world.  But this is where I question what others might find logical.

You see, while it looks like we have the means to be connected in ways never-before possible, what I know for sure is that this technologically-based way of connecting has a superficiality about it.  When your only means of interacting with the outside world is through typing, texting or even chatting via phone, as a human being you are missing the very important — and I would argue essential — element of physical connection.  Being able to see another person, experience their energy first-hand, give them a hug, shake their hand — these are not mere enhancements to communication and the human experience.  Instead, they are integral components of said experience.

Now, I know, many of you would argue that you’re still in physical contact with some of the world at large.  Furthermore, new technological advances are allowing you and I to interact in an immediate way with populations that would never have been possible even 30 years ago.  I get it.  My concern — or at least my question — however, is to what degree is this new technology impacting real human relationships?  What I witness out there in the world is that techno-based communication isn’t limited to work-exchanges.  Instead, texting, emailing, etc; are equally present in personal relationships.  So what arises for me is the following curiousity:  when you’ve spent the better part of your day involved in text and email exchanges with someone, is that level of connection as meaningful as even an hour’s worth of face-to-face interaction?

I guess what it comes down to for me is this:  I see us living in a world where the illusion of being perpetually connected has people — you, me, the neighbors — ignoring some of the essentials of the human connecting experience.  Handshakes, smiles (real, not those expressed with punctuation), hugs, physical presence are all experiences that augment our human connection with one another.  My invitation and request of all of us is that we challenge ourselves to stay physically connected, at least with a core group of people.  And furthermore, it’s my belief that such connective exchanges be present on a daily basis.  Otherwise, despite the number of texts and emails you receive, I would suggest that you’re actually moving into an isolated existence, the exact opposite of a truly connected one.

Someone’s Walking With You

One of the things that I’ve been taught — or at least that I’ve assimilated as a belief somewhere along the line — is the idea that nobody can walk my journey for me; I’ve got to walk my journey on my own.  At first glance, and indeed when I look at my life, I can see how this can be construed as the absolute truth.  I mean really, I cannot walk your life’s journey, nor can you walk mine.  The challenge with this belief, however, is the often-made extrapolation that you must, therefore, walk your journey entirely alone.  What I’m coming to realize in a really big way is that this is far from the truth.  While it may be true that only I can walk my path, it is equally true that I never walk alone — I’ve actually got a support team walking with me.

I’m not trying to be all religious here.  I am, however, trying to draw your attention to a spiritual truth that overrides whatever you may hold as religious beliefs.  The truth is this:  the universe as a whole has always got your back, and you are surrounded — by virtue of the fact that you live in a world of human beings galore — by people who can walk alongside you and help you, if you’re willing to enlist them on your journey.  This is a vital point to understand because, when you realize that you are not alone, you also realize that you’re capable of more than you might do on your own.  Working with a team is guaranteed to get you greater results than when you fly solo — when you look at all successful people you quickly realize that nobody is successful on their own.

So, here’s what needs to happen.  No matter what you consider your life’s purpose to be, it’s time for you to recognize that as you move to fulfill this purpose, you do in fact have people in your corner to support you, and it is essential that you lean in and grab their energy for support .  If this isn’t immediately obvious to you, don’t fret.  Keep your eyes and ears open and on the lookout for your supporters, let go of any who are obviously non-supporters in order to make room for your team, and keep moving forward.  Feel the support that it naturally around you, and move ahead.  That’s the way to accomplish whatever it is you’re up to in this world.

Bottom-line:  you are not alone, even when you’re walking your path to infinity.  Life is good.

When You Haven’t Got The Answer…

Ever have the feeling of just not knowing the answer?  I know I do.  And my clients often do.  I think that’s just par for the course in this game called life.  And it can be a very frustrating situation, no doubt about it.

As a coach, my specialty is asking questions.  And what I know for sure is that sometimes it’s less about knowing the answer and more about knowing which question to ask.  So often I see it happen where I’m in a quandry, wrestling with the world around me trying to find the answer — only to realize that I’ve been focusing on the wrong question.   For example, I generally start my mornings by asking what intention I’m going to hold for the day.  It’s a question that generally serves and I can usually come up with an answer fairly quickly.  Sometimes, however, I just draw a blank.  I don’t know what intention to hold.  In those moments, I know it’s time to ask a different question, to change the focus as it were.  On those days, questions like “what do I want today’s theme song to be?” or “If I could go through today as a colour, what would it be?” will get me moving like nobody’s business.

You’ll notice these next questions aren’t exactly orthodox.  Nobody says they have to be.  The question to hold, orthodox or not, is the one that has you find an answer.  I guess the bottom-line is this:  when you haven’t got an answer, and finding the answer feels like a struggle, it’s likely time to ask a different question.  Try it.  At the very least it’ll shift your energy.  And that’s always a good thing.

What Are You Radiating?

Just had an interaction with two people who were clearly on opposite sides of the fence.  It was an interesting meeting; both individuals were walking on eggshells to a certain extent.   But what was really interesting was that there was a palpable energy radiating off of each person. Different energies, but both very palpable.  Which got me thinking.  What energy do I radiate?  And how palpable is it?

You see, palpability isn’t a bad thing I don’t think.  It’s about having something be “feel-able”.  Nothing wrong with that.  However the quality of the energy involved certainly influences whether the palpable energy is experienced as “good” or “bad”.  Is it palpable anger?  Sadness? Remorse?  Joy? Excitement?  Anticipation?  Whatever it is, when your energy is radiating to the degree that it’s palpable, it means that you’re having a huge impact — intended or not – on the space around you.

Now, all of my learning last year taught me that being responsible for — taking responsibility for– my impact is vital.  So when it comes to the whole “radiating” thing, I assert that it’s important to be aware – be conscious of the energy you’re radiating.  Because the people around you are feeling it, whether you’re aware of it or not.  And whatever they’re feeling, they’re responding to.  If you’re radiating angst, that’s what they’re feeling, that’s what they’re responding to.  And if you’re after a specific outcome, being aware of what you’re radiating can go a long way towards ensuring that your desired outcome becomes reality.

Bottom-line:  whatever you’re feeling radiates energetically off of you.  The stronger your feeling, the more palpable it becomes.  And the more palpable it is, the more important it is for you to be conscious and aware of it, so that you can ensure that your desired outcome isn’t being thwarted by an energy that doesn’t align.