Feeling Derailed? It Happens

So, I got some news this morning that I wasn’t at all expecting.  Furthermore, it isn’t the sort of news that I would want to expect.  The specifics really don’t matter, at least not for the purpose of this blog.  What matters is the fact that this unexpected news — the equivalent of a curve ball — has me feeling derailed.  That’s right, derailed, as in thrown off my track.  And so, as any good coach would do, I find myself going to the place of curiousity — curiousity about how to be with derailment.  I mean, when a leader feels derailed, what do you do with that in order to not have “derailed” define you from hereon in?  How do you ensure that “derailed” doesn’t become your permanent state of being?

Well, here’s what I’ve come up with, and I think this list — while probably not exhaustive — is a good start.

1. Let “derailed” be okay, at least for while.  Give yourself permission to feel derailed, and don’t beat yourself up for it.
2. Lean in to your support system.  The people you trust, whether they’re family, friends, colleagues or professionals, find them and share with them.  Don’t try to be in this place completely alone.  Don’t isolate yourself.
3. Give yourself the gift of time.  You’ve been taken off the track for a reason.  Stay off for a while — and notice what’s here in this space.
4. Breathe.  And then breathe again.  Derailment can leave you scared and anxious, and therefore breathing in a shallow sort of way.  So get conscious and breathe deeply.  It’s a stress-reliever you know.
5. Get the facts.  Whatever news you’ve gotten, don’t let your mind make up a story that’s too far-fetched.  There’s a human tendency to get a piece of information and run with it.  Don’t.  Flesh that info out, make sure you’ve got facts, not assumptions.

Once you’ve moved through these 5 steps (and they don’t have to be done in any particular order; in fact, some may be repeated as necessary) start to move back on to the track, whatever that is for you.  It might actually be a slightly different track than you were on originally.  And, the point is to get moving again.  Punctuate your movement with moments of revisiting each of the above steps.  And slowly but surely, my guess is that you’ll be zipping along as required again.

Bottom-line: derailment is bound to happen.  It can be frustrating, scary and confusing — and there are ways to navigate through it with ease.  These 5 steps are a start.  Here’s to the gifts of derailment, and to getting back on track.