Committed: Are You? Or Do You Need to Be?
As you may or may not know, I set an objective a while ago, given that this is a milestone birthday year for me. The objective is around running, and has crystalized into running a 10 km sometime this year. Originally, my thought was to run a 10 km this fall. I’ve been toying with the idea, however, of pushing the run date to the spring. Which I find very interesting. Why? Because I’m not 100% sure why I’m wanting to postpone it.
If I take a step back and examine the question at hand, I realize a couple of truths. First, I’ve found it beyond challenging to establish a consistent training regiment. I’m getting some training in — and it doesn’t feel consistent enough in any way. While I’m not aiming for a particular time for the run, it would be nice to have enough training under my belt to finish in a decent amount of time (under 75 minutes would be great!!) Second, I know that I always do better when I’m running with someone — and I just haven’t been able to actually find someone to run with. I think I’ve maybe found a running partner in my neighbour — she’s definitely interested — but getting our schedules to coordinate is another matter. It’s like everywhere I turn, there’s another challenge to consider. Which brings me to the consideration of my title question: how committed am I to the idea of running? And why? What will it serve?
I know that I love the idea of being able to say that I ran a 10 km as a means of celebrating this milestone birthday. In addition to being a real marker in that way, it would also allow me to bust a story I’ve got going that I’m not capable of running that distance (so not true, and I’d love to be able to have the concrete evidence). I’m also discovering that when I run, no matter how far, I do feel better physically, emotionally, mentally. There’s a way in which running provides an outlet for all sorts of stuff, clearing my head, creating space for health and new thoughts. It’s a good thing.
Knowing all of this, am I truly committed? Or do I need to be committed? I’m thinking “no” to the latter — even if my thought process leads me to the conclusion that I’m not entirely committed to this run (and I haven’t reached that conclusion yet!), being committed doesn’t seem like a necessary course of action. As I sit with this question, here’s what I’m realizing: I’m totally committed to doing a run; and I’m not as attached to doing the run this fall. I actually could leave it until spring, and I’d be okay with that. Which leads me to a new question: what do I want to commit to? And then, what will it take — how will I choose to be — as I move to honour that commitment?
I’ll keep you posted as this evolves for me. And in the meantime, I want to invite you to consider similar questions related to whatever you’re undertaking in your life right now? How committed are you to whatever that endeavour is? And how will you need to be in order to honour that commitment? Feel free to share your thoughts! I always love hearing what you have to say.
Do Little Things Count?
Well, I’m smack-dab (or “dam-smack” as my 7 year old says!) in the middle of a full-fledged writing week, the first of 4 scheduled for this year. The writing weeks are something which my co-author and I co-created for ourselves, as a structure and container within which to honour our commitment to work on the 2nd book in our series, without compromising or sacrificing the integrity of our individual coaching companies. With this structure, we can throw ourselves into the writing for one whole week at a time, feel the momentum, harness the creativity and really make progress, before letting things percolate for a while before we dive in again. So far, it’s been a thing of beauty — momentum galore, productivity abounding, and laughter that I’m sure would have people wonder about our sanity, if we were working out in a public setting.
As great as this all is, one of the things that happens during this sort of focused week is that I can’t be fully immersed in my coaching company. Makes sense; when I’m focused on one thing, I can’t be focused on another. I get it. I have allowed myself time at the beginning and end of each day to attend to the absolute essentials of my coaching practice — these vary a bit from week to week, but they’re the things that help keep me grounded and moving forward — follow up calls, mini-meetings, admin tasks, etc;. Again, they’re essential — and they feel “little”, compared to the bigger things such as proposal writing, concrete coaching and seminar delivery. Which has me ask the title question: do the little things count?
Even as I ask it, I know the answer. Of course they do! In some ways, they count at least as much, if not moreso, than the “bigger” tasks. These are the things that set the foundation and keep my business afloat. These little tasks are the things that lead to the bigger accomplishments. And sometimes, doing these little things requires a modicum (if not a big whack!) of courage. And commitment. And trust. When I can tackle all of these little tasks with these three qualities, what I know for sure is that I’ll be able to handle the the inevitable big tasks with as much courage, trust and commitment. The little tasks, in some ways, are a training ground for the big things. And the eventual accomplishments and successes that come out of these tasks — big or little — can be savoured that much more. Because I’ll know that I actually did what needed to be done to have the experience of this particular success.
Bottom-line, as a leader, I must be prepared to do the little things and the big things, even as I hold the vision and move towards my envisioned success. Not only do the little things count, they are the things upon which the foundation of true leadership success is built.
Just How Committed Are You?
Today is a day which has me exploring the nature of commitment. Wedding vows, childhood promises, new year’s resolutions, business goals, leadership visions — all of these hold an element of commitment within them. Why? Because in order to see these things to completion, in order to stay with these things until they bear fruit, you have to be committed. The question that arises, when it comes right down to it, is how committed are you? No, really. How committed are you prepared to be?
Being committed — truly committed — essentially requires you to make a promise like no other. For those of you who’ve read the Harry Potter series,let me draw a parallel between the energy of commitment and the energy of the Unbreakable Vow. Being truly committed to something inherently means that you will stay the course, you will face any and all obstacles, you will do whatever it takes, for however long it takes, in order to see the end result that you have declared yourself to be committed to.
When it comes to leadership, one of the things that I assert is that you have and hold a vision of some sort, some ideal that you’re committed to bringing alive in the world. As you entertain and play with this vision, as you speak it and encounter the reaction of others, the question for you to ask yourself is, how committed are you? How willing are you to go to the mat for what you hold as your vision? How willing are you to stay the course and lead people towards your vision, even in the face of whatever gets in your way?
You see, until and unless you are 100% committed — irrevocably, unwaveringly, and solidly committed — you can’t actually claim the leadership mantle. You can try it on, but at some point you’ll have to take it off and hand it to someone else. No matter what it is that you’re holding as you’re leadership vision, you must be willing to be 100% committed — not75%, 90% or even 99.9% committed — 100% committed in order to find the strength, resources and alliances to bring your vision to life.
Bottom-line: there will be times on your leadership journey when things get tough. At those times, it will be your commitment that carries you through. In light of this, nothing less than 100% commitment will suffice.
From Should to Could to Will
Let me begin this article by reassuring you that I am not going to attempt to banish any particular word from your vocabulary. I am a firm believer in the idea that all words have a place in which they can be used appropriately. The challenge, as I see it, is that words have incredible power, and oftentimes it is very easy to use a word or combination of words without considering the powerful way in which they land, and the resulting impact that gets created. So really, the next few months are less about eliminating words and more about stretching your usage of them, so that the impact that is created is more in keeping with what you desire.
The first word that I’m going to invite you to play with is the word “should”. How often do you hear yourself or others talk about what “should” be said/done/accomplished? “I SHOULD go to the gym”; “You SHOULD eat more fruits and veggies”, “We SHOULD try that new restaurant”. This is a word that is very much overused in our society, in my humble opinion. This results in so many of us walking around as if we’re carrying the burdens of the world on our back. In using the word “should” indiscriminately, you create an extremely heavy load to bear!
Before exploring alternative words that may suit your circumstances more appropriately, let’s note that the word “should” is a “used to express moral obligation, necessity, etc;” according to the New Lexicon Webster’s Dictionary of the English Language. Now, when you use the word should on a daily basis, are you really attempting to convey a moral obligation? Or even a necessity? And if so, are you certain that it’s an obligation or necessity according to what you’re striving for? Or is this an old rule or paradigm that is being imposed on your life by someone else, or that you’re imposing on someone else’s life? Do you see where I’m pointing you? It’s my belief that more often than not, when you use the word should, you’re imposing a set of beliefs — obligations, necessities — into a situation that doesn’t necessarily call for it. More importantly, too often, you use the word “should” and stop the conversation from moving any further. And so this obligation hangs over your head like a looming threat. So how do you address this challenge? By moving through the “should” as quickly as possible. Here’s what I mean.
Let’s say that, in the context of the life you’re creating, you’ve identified a very real necessity to exercise more. This translates into the statement “I should go to the gym”. Great. You’ve named the necessity. The question now becomes, what will you do? Naming the necessity or obligation is not enough to really motivate you to change your story. It may start you moving in a new direction, but until you shift from the place of obligation to the place of choice, you will feel burdened, and at some point you will likely rebel. So, once you’ve identified that you “should go to the gym” and that you “want to, because it will benefit your health” your new statement becomes any one of “I could go to the gym” (you’ve got an option), “I can go to the gym” (you’re capable of it, you’ve got the opportunity), to finally “I will go to the gym” (I’m committed to this course of action — it’s not obligatory, it’s what I want). Can you feel the energetic shift?
Some of you may argue that we’re really talking about semantics here. And I agree with you. The semantics in this case, however, are important. It’s the subtle, energetic differences in language that determine the quality of the story you’re creating for yourself. In the case of “should” — do you want to create a story rife with obligation and necessity? Or do you want a story filled with possibility and commitment? I assert that the latter is what you’re really going for. And if I’m wrong, then stick with you’re shoulds. Remember, this isn’t about eliminating words from your vocabulary — it’s about making sure you’re using the words that are right and true for you.
Bottom-line: the word “should” carries with it a weight that can drag you and your life’s story down. One way to shift the energy is to move as quickly as possible from should to could/can or would/will. In doing this, your story changes to one of possibility and commitment, and your burden gets lifted. And let’s face it, with all that goes on in each of our lives, we can all use a little less burden on our shoulders.