Make a Choice, Any Choice

One of the things that I’m noticing as I step more fully into my leadership vision, my leadership role, is that there are times when I totally get stuck.  Truthfully, it’s not even stuck in the typical sense of that word; it’s more like overwhelmed with so many choices, that I simply don’t know which to choose — and erego I feel stuck.

It’s funny, because generally speaking I’m all about having a wide array of choices available to me.  There are times, however, when all of the choices in front of me seem to have merit, as well as pitfalls, and then I start to have this conversation with my inner saboteurs all around making the “right” choice.

Well, what I’m learning is this:  sometimes, it actually serves to just make a choice, and not worry so much about whether it’s right or wrong.  By making a choice — any choice — I notice that I absolutely get “unstuck”, and if in fact the choice ends up being wrong in some way, then I can go back to the drawing board.

Leadership requires me to lead, to step out and choose, even when I’m uncertain.  I don’t always have to lead with 100% certainty; in fact, I can lead with a bit of trepidation, so long as I own that I’m uncertain.  Honesty is the key here.  And by leading in this way, there’s a way in which I can draw others into my vision more easily, I think (I’m actually not sure about this — but I have a sense of it).  Why?  Because as much as people like heroes as their leaders, there’s something compelling about a leader who also shows up in all of her absolute humanity, authentically.

Bottom-line:  having doubts doesn’t have to keep you stuck.  Instead, rather than getting all intellectual, analytical, and trying to figure it out, leadership can be  better served when you simply make a choice, any choice, without worrying about the rightness or wrongness of it.  When you make a choice, you move.  And when you move, eventually you find your way.

Time to Crank Up the Awareness Dial

In the last few days I’ve availed myself of the opportunity to check in on “where I’m at” from moment to moment, day to day.  It’s been an interesting process, paying attention to little things like my mood, my posture, my breathing, my thoughts.  Why have I chosen to put my focus on these things?  Because I’m learning that heightened awareness is one way to guage how I’m showing up in the world, what’s working for me, what’s not, and what actions I might take.  In other words, by turning up the awareness dial in my life, I’m finding powerful ways to hold myself accountable to the life I claim to want for myself.  Let me explain.

I know from my own experience, and from bearing witness to clients’ experiences, that moving through life on auto-pilot is a really easy thing to do.  But it’s simple in a less-than-ideal way; it’s not a simplicity that serves, it’s a simplicity that allows us to be out of touch with ourselves and the world around us.  Auto-pilot, when it’s used for long periods of time, inevitably results in you getting to a place and wondering, “how the heck did I end up here?”  which is a thought that is guaranteed to leave you somewhere on the spectrum of confused to scared silly.

When you shift out of auto-pilot and into conscious awareness, however, a number of things happen.

• First (and most obvious) you become aware of every single detail of your life — sometimes a not so comfortable experience, admittedly. This awareness can have you noticing what you’d rather not pay attention to, but it can also have you becoming aware of what’s actually working for you.
• Second, you can become more deliberate about your choices, however small.  Every action you take is done in a spirit of overall certainty.  These deliberate choices leave you feeling empowered about the life you’re creating.
• Third, you notice and draw causative links between the choices you make and the results you experience. In other words, you start to recognize the fact that your life is actually be created by your choices, and not just by luck of the draw.
• And finally, you learn to deliberately tweak your choices based on these observations — if you deem it necessary — so your life circumstances evolve as you’d like rather than by happenstance.

Bottom-line:  standing in a place of conscious awareness can serve you well as you strive to create the life you actually want for yourself.  Yes, there will be uncomfortable moments — particularly when you become aware of things you don’t like or choices that don’t serve.  All of the discomfort, however, is definitely made up for by the resulting  insight and deliberate creation that ensures you a life that works for you.  And isn’t that what you ultimately want for yourself?  I know it’s what I want for myself — a life that works for me.

The Holiday Dance: Hustle, Waltz or Quickstep?

While it’s accurate to say that the holidays are fast approaching, it’s equally accurate to say that the “holiday season” is upon us.  That’s right, it is here and we as a collective are smack dab in the middle of all that it entails.

For some, the arrival of the holiday season brings with it a whack of excitement, anticipation and joy.  For others, it’s a sure-fire source of angst and turmoil — blood pressure levels start skyrocketing and muscles take on a whole new level of tension.  Using a dance metaphor (because I love metaphors and I love dancing) I feel that I can confidently say the holiday season has different people dancing to different tunes, and whether or not they include christmas carols is absolutely a moot point.

You see, the holiday season brings with it a very specific rhythm, a beat that is different from any other time of the year.  What’s interesting is that the beat is entirely open to interpretation.  As a result, while some hear soft, fluid melody, others hear syncopation and a backbeat.  Nothing wrong with either — and it does mean that people are going to dance through the season differently.  After all, it’s hard to do a jitterbug, if the music you’re hearing is a paso doble (can you tell I’m a Dancing With the Stars fan?).  The beauty is that you can actually determine what beat you’ll hear, what dance you’d like to do.  All that’s required is a conscious choice on your part.

So, let me ask you:  when you think of the holidays, is it your preference to dance your way through doing a waltz?  Or are you more of a quickstepper?  Maybe a jive?  Know that there is nothing wrong with any of the dance styles you might choose.  The only challenge is that if you don’t consciously determine what holiday dance you’re doing, you will end up being dragged onto the dance floor to engage in some sort of movement that you’d rather not do.

Bottom-line:  decide here and now, the essence of the holiday dance you’d like to create.  Once you’ve made your decision, hold this in your consciousness and make every experience align with your choice.  That way, once the holidays are over, you’ll be able to say with confidence and recall with certainty that you had the holiday dance you wanted.

Dancing With a Million Ideas (More or Less)

It’s an interesting phenomenon that I’m experiencing.  Last week, I made a commitment to be open to the invitations of the universe and respond to said invitations without hesitation.  My objective here is to build some momentum based on creative, inspired energy.  What I didn’t bargain on was the myriad of ideas and invitations that would come my way.  Honestly, it’s as though every waking moment is filled with idea after idea after idea.  It could almost stop me in my tracks!

I haven’t allowed that to happen, however, because I’m aware that my commitment is to moving forward.  That’s what “responding to the invitations of the universe” means for me — moving forward on the path of my destiny without hesitation.  What I’ve had to learn (or, perhaps it’s “re-learn”),  however, is that even while there are many ideas coming my way, I don’t have to dance with them all at the same time.  If I pick one to engage with – any one at all – the others will keep circulating until I feel ready to dance with them.  That is, if they really want to dance in the first place.

In other words, I don’t have to be overwhelmed by the myriad of ideas and invitations.  I don’t have to fear that they’ll disappear and I’ll miss my chance.  Instead, I can totally trust that the really great ideas that want my attention will stick around while I give another great idea my attention; essentially, great ideas will wait their turn and I can just latch on to one and go with it for now.  The not-so-great ideas will fizzle into the background sooner rather than later, whether I give them my attention or not.

Bottom-line:  dancing with a million ideas — at least in the context of living life — means following one partner at a time, trusting that the others will be waiting when I’m done.  In the great dance of life, I don’t have to fear missing out on anything.  The ideas that want my attention will stick around.  It’s all good.

Watcha Thinkin’ About?

Thoughts create our reality.  Everywhere I look, this idea seems to be gaining more popularity.  From my perspective, that’s a good thing, because I believe that this is more than a novel idea; I believe that the statement “thoughts create our reality” is a fact.  Some may disagree, and that’s okay (I guess).  And yet, the more I read, the more I look around and observe, the more I witness evidence of thoughts being made manifest in some way, shape or form.

So it has me really getting curious on a moment-to-moment basis:  what am I thinking about?  What are my predominant thoughts?  Where do I put my focus?  And then, even as I get curious about my own thoughts, I’m curious about the thoughts that others are holding.  I mean, there are such diverse circumstances in our world at large, and even in my own small community.  What thoughts are people holding, consciously or not?

I guess that’s what I’m starting to realize more and more: oftentimes, the thoughts that dominate one’s existence tend to be unconscious in nature.  Which, in consideration of the fact that “thoughts create our reality”, seems self-defeating to a certain extent.  It’s like abdicating creative control over your life, isn’t it?  If  your thoughts create your reality, doesn’t it seem wise to be consciously choosing the thoughts you hold?

Bottom-line:  it’s time to get deliberate about thinking.  It’s time to invoke some discipline, not in a harsh, dictatorial sort of way, but in a defined, deliberate, self-aware sort of way.  Because when you choose your thoughts, you choose your reality.  So, what reality are you going for?

Dancing on the Line

And what a fine line it is — as in narrow, as opposed to wonderful.  Although it could be wonderful.  But I digress.  I know, you’re wondering what the heck I’m talking about.  Here’s the deal.  AS many of you know, I set myself the goal of running a marathon next year (fall 2010) to be exact.  And I’ve decided to tackle this in baby steps.  The first of these steps was to enrol in a learn-to-run class at my local gym.  I started at the end of March, and the class was 6 weeks in length, which took us to last week.  On our last sesssion, we ran 5 km, which was the goal for the class.

Now, admittedly, I did not run the 5km straight.  I did stretches of 8 minutes running, interspersed with 2 minutes of walking.  Given that I started way back in March with 3 minutes of running and 2 minutes of walking, I figure I’m doing pretty well.  One of the things I noticed towards the end of the class is that I definitely prefer to run alongside someone.  Having a buddy keeps me motivated, even when I want to stop.  And I knew that I was going to have to reach for some internal motivation to keep me going once the class was finished.

Well, until today, I haven’t run at all this week.  Interesting eh?  And today, having mapped out a 5 km route, I found it REALLY challenging to push myself to do the full 5 km.  I’ll confess here and now that I stopped short; I only ran about 4.2 km.  Definitely over 4, and not 5.  So what’s the fine line?  It’s the line between pushing myself to reach a goal, and listening to what my body actually needs.  Truthfully, my body wanted to stop around the 2.5 km mark.  But I knew I could definitely do more than that!  As I neared the 4 km mark, however, the shin splints started to kick in.  Years ago, they happened alot. Through this running class, they only happen when I haven’t stretched enough in advance.  And I know from past experience that if I push myself to run with the shin splints, I’ll pay BIG TIME for it later.

Now, hear me correctly: I’m not trying to make excuses here.  Instead, I’m truly trying to discern the fine line between challenging myself and knowing when to stop.  It’s a constant dance for me, figuring out my limits.  And truthfully, the limit changes — the line moves — on a regular basis.  So what’s my point?   I guess I’m feeling and wanting to remind myself (as well as my readers) that in the end it’s imperative for you to determine for yourself, moment-to-moment, day-by-day how far you’re going to push yourself.  Where is the line for you today?  And how do you know?  Because when it comes right down to it, only you get to decide whether what you’re doing is in integrity with your aims, or if you’re selling out.  As painful as it may be, sometimes stopping short is the most integrity-filled thing to do.  And it’s up to you.

Teach Your Children…

One of the things I love doing is listening to my children set goals, intentions and objectives.  It’s a lot of fun to hear what’s important from the perspective of a 6 or 9 year old!  It was almost 4 years ago now, when my son was starting grade 1, that I started teaching him and my daughter how to decide – before they walk out the door in the morning – what kind of a day they were striving for.   And what they wanted to accomplish within that frame.

Now, after much practice, these intentions often sound something like,”Today, I want to have a confident day and do well in music.”  And what I love about these intentions is the simplicity of them.  Simplicity wrapped around a powerful intention.  That’s what it is.  Because to have a “confident day” requires you to make certain choices.  It means choosing a certain demeanor, a specific course of action.  And the same is true regadless of what adjective you choose to describe the day you’re striving to create.

Inviting my children to clarify their goals and objectives provides us as a family with a rich opportunity to learn about what it takes to create the day/life you want for yourself.  When my daughter claims that she’s striving for a “happy” day, and then comes home having had anything but happy experiences, the situation is ripe with opportunity for us to explore the choices made, what could have been done differently, and what learning arose.  It’s a lesson in standing in true creative potential.

As I look around at the world today it occurs to me that many people are only just realizing their personal creative power having reached adulthood.  I believe that there is much to be gained by teaching children the power of conscious choice — along with the power of play and the 3 r’s — from a very young age.  Imagine having it be second nature – a habit – to create the day you want, more often than not.  Bottom-line:  it’s never too late — or too early — to start exercising the muscle of  conscious choice.  In fact, the earlier you start strengthening it, the more your realm of possibility will expand.  Doesn’t that sound awesome?

There’s Something in the Air

You know, for the last few days there’s been something in the air.  I wasn’t really aware of it at first; I made the assumption that what I was feeling was something inside ME.  But then I started looking around, talking to others, and realized this is not just ME.  This is a lot of people.  And what I know from experience is that when a  lot of people seem to be having the same feelings going on, it’s the energetic field that’s got something going on.  Here’s what I’ve come to believe about the energy of the world right now:  the voice of fear is drowning out the voices of trust, reason and love.

“So what?”, you might ask.  Well, here’s what.  When the voice of fear is as loud as it currently is, there’s a heaviness of heart that’s evident all around us.  And that heaviness has people making snap decisions — decisions based in fear — which is rarely a good basis for a decision.

So what’s the solution?  You play a game.  The waiting game, more specifically.  That’s right, you sit down, breathe, and wait things out.  Let yourself get really still and quiet.  Quiet your mind, quiet your tongue.  Let the voice of fear shout itself out (you don’t have to listen to it) until it’s hoarse and then allow the other voices — the voices of trust, reason and love to make themselves heard. You’ll know that you’re hearing those voices when the heaviness in your heart lifts.  And then, with a lighter heart, you can make your choices.  Ironically, they may be the same choices as you were feeling inclined towards when listening to the voice of fear.  When those choices are made in a spirit of trust, reason and love, howver, they’re more likely to garner results that serve.  Which is a good thing.

What Choices Shows your True Essence?

It is our choices that show who we really are, far more than our abilities.  ~J.K. Rowling