Falling Off the Leadership Wagon

Well, I’m not really falling off the wagon I don’t think.  I am, however, noticing that some of the truths I subscribe to are challenging my thought processes of late.  Which sends me to my thinking and deliberating space.  In those moments, what I’m learning is that as a leader, I must be far more conscious about how long I’m hanging out in my thinking space.  I can get so wrapped up in thinking about things, wondering, being curious, that my deliberate energy doesn’t translate into any action.  When I don’t make the leap from thought to action, it looks as though I’m following rather than leading.  Actually, it doesn’t even look like that; it looks like I’m just bopping along without any purpose whatsoever.  I’m derailed, in a way.

Being deliberate absolutely means that I’ve given some thought to things.  The question is, how much time do I spend in that thinking-space before I take whatever corresponding action is required of me?  If I hang out in that “deliberation” space for too long, that actually keeps me off the leadership wagon, you know?  Andrew Jackson has said the following:  “Take time to deliberate; but when the time for action arrives, stop thinking and go in.”  This, when it comes right down to it, may be one of the biggest leadership challenges:  knowing when to stop thinking and start doing.

When all is said and done good leaders definitely give some thought to things, they deliberate about the actions they will take.  Great leaders, however, stop deliberating sooner rather than later, knowing that the time for action requires you to channel your deliberate thoughts into deliberate action for effective leadership results.

Bottom-line:  To stay on the leadership wagon, stop thinking about things; go do them.

What deliberate action will you take today?  How deliberate are you on a daily basis?  I’d love to hear your thoughts!  Post your comments here and let’s get a dialogue going about deliberate action!  For additional resources and the opportunity to sign up for the weekly ezine, LAUNCH, visit www.stellarcc.com.

What Are You Willing to Risk?

Leadership inherently involves a certain amount of risk.  There’s the risk involved in putting forth an idea, in challenging the status quo (if that’s what you’re up to), in inviting others to follow, in taking a stance — these are all leadership actions and they all require risk to a certain degree.  The amount of risk you’re willing to engage in impacts the degree of success you’ll achieve.

When a problem arises — when you’re faced with a challenge — it behooves you to ask how much risk you’re willing to take on.  More importantly, what exactly are you willing to risk?  Are you willing to risk looking foolish?  Are  you willing to risk feeling someone’s anger?  Are you willing to risk being wrong?  Are you willing to risk losing a friendship, or a follower?  Knowing what you’re willing to risk allows you to push the boundaries in order to achieve a specific outcome.

Similarly, knowing what you’re NOT willing to risk allows you to know when to pull back.  When you are clear about your limit in terms of risk, you become clear on the actions you will and will not take and why you pull back when you do.  This knowledge allows you to make your choices with no regrets.  You may experience some frustration if you reach the limit of your risk-zone and change isn’t happening to your liking; and, at that point, you get to re-evaluate what you’re willing to risk and determine how much more energy you’re willing to expend for the cause, whatever it might be.

As a leader, whatever it is you’re striving to create, change or bring about in the world is made easier when you know what you’re willing to risk.   So hold the question as you navigate your leadership and give it a voice.  Know your risk-zone, know how much energy you’re willing to expend, re-evaluate from time to time, and make your choices accordingly.

Bottom-line:  when you know what you’re willing to risk, you can confidently make choices to bring your leadership vision to reality.

Looking Beyond the Let-Down, to the Opportunity

“Don’t dwell on what went wrong.  Instead, focus on what to do next. Spend your energies on moving forward,toward finding the answer.”  ~Denis Waitley

Yesterday I had the distinctly disappointing experience of being let down by a client.  In a nutshell, the person in question told me that she would be pulling out of an agreement that we’d made.  As near as I can tell, the pulling out isn’t going to be a permanent thing — it’s supposedly just on hold for a few months.  And she assures me that she’s committed to continuing once a few personal ducks are lined up — she wants to keep doing the work she’s embarked on.  All this aside, it was a disappointment in the moment nonetheless.

As I felt myself reel in response to this news, I simultaneously became aware of an urge to look beyond the let-down.  And it was interesting to notice this urge.  Because, of course, it was competing with the urge to be angry and vent a bit.  As I sat with these competing urges, what I realized is that where I am in the long run, depends hugely on which urges I choose to follow moment to moment.  In this instance, if I choose to follow the urge to be angry and vent, then I will stay in this “let down” place.  If, however, I choose to follow the urge to look beyond — to the opportunity — then I will actually move forward.  Which begs the question:  do I want to stay here?  Or do I want to move on?

What I know for sure is that this is the constant challenge for me.  Not simply the “let-down” vs. “opportunity” question, but the question of “this moment” vs. “the future”.  I know that there is power in staying fully present in the moment.  And, I also know that sometimes, you’ve actually got to put your attention forward, even while you are aware of what’s happening now.  It’s an interesting balancing act; and usually what lies ahead, particularly when it’s a specific goal or objective, has got a “wow factor” that the present-moment-spinning just can’t provide.

Bottom-line:  when the thing that’s happening in this moment causes you to be caught in a whirlwind of negativity, you’ve really got to put your attention beyond the here and now.  Look to what’s possible, look to where you’re headed and, while you appreciate what’s going on now, pull yourself to the opportunity beyond.  It’s the best way to blend the power of now with the energy of wow.

Distinguishing Intuition from Fear

As a coach, one of the personal qualities that I rely on a fair bit is my intuition.  Intuition is a quality which we all have access to; the question is whether or not you hone it and learn to work it, or whether you squash it and ignore it.  Like anything else, the more you use it, the more skilled you become and the stronger it gets, rather like a muscle.

No matter how skilled you are at using your intuition, however, there is an inherent challenge.  You see, intuition is about “inner knowing” — hearing that quiet voice that can be a fabulous guide when you learn to pay attention.  The challenge is that everyone of us actually has two distinct inner voices, each of which strives to make itself heard.  Intuition is one; fear is the other.  And sometimes, the two can sounds awfully similar, particularly if the circumstance involved is new, unfamiliar, or unusual in some way.  The question is, how do you tell the difference?  Even those most skilled at using intuition can grapple with this one.  And, there is a distinction that can be helpful.  Emotional charge.

Years ago, I worked with a colleague who pointed out that genuine, intuitive knowing — regardless of the topic in question — rarely has an emotional charge to it.  Instead, the voice of intuition generally expresses itself in a really grounded, emotion-free way.  So even if your inner knowing is trying to warn you about something, there’s no fear-mongering involved; it simply draws your attention to what needs to be noticed, and lets you move along your merry way.  The voice of fear, however, is emotionally-charged and then some.  The voice of fear will have you spiral into the depths of certain death if you don’t follow whatever path it’s trying to steer you toward.  This emotional distinction is what you can use to determine if you’re being guided by intuition or fear.

You might be asking, does this distinction matter?  I would argue that it absolutely does.  And I’m going to get really real with a personal example here to illustrate the point.  I am currently grappling with a health concern.  Months ago, I was faced with a medical test result that was scary to say the least.  As is standard protocol, the test was repeated — and the result was negative, thankfully.  So a follow-up appointment was scheduled for next year, but the concern was alleviated for the time being.  Now here’s the thing.  While my initial reaction at the second test result was pure exhilaration, I was aware at the time — and have been in the months ensuing — of a small voice in me saying that in actual fact, the second test was wrong, not the first one.  The voice is small, relatively quiet, not at all pushy — and it’s there.  There’s a second voice, however, (I swear, I am not talking about multiple personalities here) that’s louder and tends to swing on the emotional pendulum, vascilating between total “you are so going to die in the next 6 months” and “oh, for goodness sake, you’re fine, quit worrying, good grief already”.  What I know for sure, when I choose to pay attention is that it’s the first voice I need to pay attention to.  Not because I need to worry, not because it’s right, but rather because I need to get some facts — in a really grounded way.  I actually want to be more certain that the second test was in fact the right result, and not the other way around.  Now I could continue to notice and otherwise ignore both voices.  Or I could ride the emotional roller-coaster of the voice of fear (that’s the 2nd voice).  Or I could hear the concern of the first voice and get some answers — which is where I’m headed.

When it comes right down to it, no matter who you are, the voice of fear and the voice of intuition are both present, it’s the nature of the human experience.  Both can provide some guidance for how you live your life.  The voice of fear, however, is always rooted in emotion of some sort, and as such may not have the most grounded options for you.  The voice of intuition, on the other hand, is much more gentle (even when it’s loud), providing some guidance, but never pushing. It’s grounded, leaving the ultimate choosing up to you.  So what I want you to take away from this, particularly if you’re in any decision-making circumstance is this:  acting from grounded intuition will always serve you better, than action taken from fear-based emotion.  That’s the bottom-line.

Committed: Are You? Or Do You Need to Be?

As you may or may not know, I set an objective a while ago, given that this is a milestone birthday year for me.  The objective is around running, and has crystalized into running a 10 km sometime this year.  Originally, my thought was to run a 10 km this fall.  I’ve been toying with the idea, however, of pushing the run date to the spring.  Which I find very interesting.  Why?  Because I’m not 100% sure why I’m wanting to postpone it.

If I take a step back and examine the question at hand, I realize a couple of truths.  First, I’ve found it beyond challenging to establish a consistent training regiment.  I’m getting some training in — and it doesn’t feel consistent enough in any way.  While I’m not aiming for a particular time for the run, it would be nice to have enough training under my belt to finish in a decent amount of time (under 75 minutes would be great!!)  Second, I know that I always do better when I’m running with someone — and I just haven’t been able to actually find someone to run with.  I think I’ve maybe found a running partner in my neighbour — she’s definitely interested — but getting our schedules to coordinate is another matter.  It’s like everywhere I turn, there’s another challenge to consider.  Which brings me to the consideration of my title question:  how committed am I to the idea of running?  And why?  What will it serve?

I know that I love the idea of being able to say that I ran a 10 km as a means of celebrating this milestone birthday.  In addition to being a real marker in that way, it would also allow me to bust a story I’ve got going that I’m not capable of running that distance (so not true, and I’d love to be able to have the concrete evidence).  I’m also discovering that when I run, no matter how far, I do feel better physically, emotionally, mentally.  There’s a way in which running provides an outlet for all sorts of stuff, clearing my head, creating space for health and new thoughts.  It’s a good thing.

Knowing all of this, am I truly committed?  Or do I need to be committed?  I’m thinking “no” to the latter — even if my thought process leads me to the conclusion that I’m not entirely committed to this run (and I haven’t reached that conclusion yet!), being committed doesn’t seem like a necessary course of action.  As I sit with this question, here’s what I’m realizing:  I’m totally committed to doing a run; and I’m not as attached to doing the run this fall.  I actually could leave it until spring, and I’d be okay with that.  Which leads me to a new question:  what do I want to commit to?  And then, what will it take — how will I choose to be — as I move to honour that commitment?

I’ll keep you posted as this evolves for me.  And in the meantime, I want to invite you to consider similar questions related to whatever you’re undertaking in your life right now?  How committed are you to whatever that endeavour is?  And how will you need to be in order to honour that commitment?  Feel free to share your thoughts!  I always love hearing what you have to say.

Make a Choice, Any Choice

One of the things that I’m noticing as I step more fully into my leadership vision, my leadership role, is that there are times when I totally get stuck.  Truthfully, it’s not even stuck in the typical sense of that word; it’s more like overwhelmed with so many choices, that I simply don’t know which to choose — and erego I feel stuck.

It’s funny, because generally speaking I’m all about having a wide array of choices available to me.  There are times, however, when all of the choices in front of me seem to have merit, as well as pitfalls, and then I start to have this conversation with my inner saboteurs all around making the “right” choice.

Well, what I’m learning is this:  sometimes, it actually serves to just make a choice, and not worry so much about whether it’s right or wrong.  By making a choice — any choice — I notice that I absolutely get “unstuck”, and if in fact the choice ends up being wrong in some way, then I can go back to the drawing board.

Leadership requires me to lead, to step out and choose, even when I’m uncertain.  I don’t always have to lead with 100% certainty; in fact, I can lead with a bit of trepidation, so long as I own that I’m uncertain.  Honesty is the key here.  And by leading in this way, there’s a way in which I can draw others into my vision more easily, I think (I’m actually not sure about this — but I have a sense of it).  Why?  Because as much as people like heroes as their leaders, there’s something compelling about a leader who also shows up in all of her absolute humanity, authentically.

Bottom-line:  having doubts doesn’t have to keep you stuck.  Instead, rather than getting all intellectual, analytical, and trying to figure it out, leadership can be  better served when you simply make a choice, any choice, without worrying about the rightness or wrongness of it.  When you make a choice, you move.  And when you move, eventually you find your way.

Time to Crank Up the Awareness Dial

In the last few days I’ve availed myself of the opportunity to check in on “where I’m at” from moment to moment, day to day.  It’s been an interesting process, paying attention to little things like my mood, my posture, my breathing, my thoughts.  Why have I chosen to put my focus on these things?  Because I’m learning that heightened awareness is one way to guage how I’m showing up in the world, what’s working for me, what’s not, and what actions I might take.  In other words, by turning up the awareness dial in my life, I’m finding powerful ways to hold myself accountable to the life I claim to want for myself.  Let me explain.

I know from my own experience, and from bearing witness to clients’ experiences, that moving through life on auto-pilot is a really easy thing to do.  But it’s simple in a less-than-ideal way; it’s not a simplicity that serves, it’s a simplicity that allows us to be out of touch with ourselves and the world around us.  Auto-pilot, when it’s used for long periods of time, inevitably results in you getting to a place and wondering, “how the heck did I end up here?”  which is a thought that is guaranteed to leave you somewhere on the spectrum of confused to scared silly.

When you shift out of auto-pilot and into conscious awareness, however, a number of things happen.

• First (and most obvious) you become aware of every single detail of your life — sometimes a not so comfortable experience, admittedly. This awareness can have you noticing what you’d rather not pay attention to, but it can also have you becoming aware of what’s actually working for you.
• Second, you can become more deliberate about your choices, however small.  Every action you take is done in a spirit of overall certainty.  These deliberate choices leave you feeling empowered about the life you’re creating.
• Third, you notice and draw causative links between the choices you make and the results you experience. In other words, you start to recognize the fact that your life is actually be created by your choices, and not just by luck of the draw.
• And finally, you learn to deliberately tweak your choices based on these observations — if you deem it necessary — so your life circumstances evolve as you’d like rather than by happenstance.

Bottom-line:  standing in a place of conscious awareness can serve you well as you strive to create the life you actually want for yourself.  Yes, there will be uncomfortable moments — particularly when you become aware of things you don’t like or choices that don’t serve.  All of the discomfort, however, is definitely made up for by the resulting  insight and deliberate creation that ensures you a life that works for you.  And isn’t that what you ultimately want for yourself?  I know it’s what I want for myself — a life that works for me.

The Holiday Dance: Hustle, Waltz or Quickstep?

While it’s accurate to say that the holidays are fast approaching, it’s equally accurate to say that the “holiday season” is upon us.  That’s right, it is here and we as a collective are smack dab in the middle of all that it entails.

For some, the arrival of the holiday season brings with it a whack of excitement, anticipation and joy.  For others, it’s a sure-fire source of angst and turmoil — blood pressure levels start skyrocketing and muscles take on a whole new level of tension.  Using a dance metaphor (because I love metaphors and I love dancing) I feel that I can confidently say the holiday season has different people dancing to different tunes, and whether or not they include christmas carols is absolutely a moot point.

You see, the holiday season brings with it a very specific rhythm, a beat that is different from any other time of the year.  What’s interesting is that the beat is entirely open to interpretation.  As a result, while some hear soft, fluid melody, others hear syncopation and a backbeat.  Nothing wrong with either — and it does mean that people are going to dance through the season differently.  After all, it’s hard to do a jitterbug, if the music you’re hearing is a paso doble (can you tell I’m a Dancing With the Stars fan?).  The beauty is that you can actually determine what beat you’ll hear, what dance you’d like to do.  All that’s required is a conscious choice on your part.

So, let me ask you:  when you think of the holidays, is it your preference to dance your way through doing a waltz?  Or are you more of a quickstepper?  Maybe a jive?  Know that there is nothing wrong with any of the dance styles you might choose.  The only challenge is that if you don’t consciously determine what holiday dance you’re doing, you will end up being dragged onto the dance floor to engage in some sort of movement that you’d rather not do.

Bottom-line:  decide here and now, the essence of the holiday dance you’d like to create.  Once you’ve made your decision, hold this in your consciousness and make every experience align with your choice.  That way, once the holidays are over, you’ll be able to say with confidence and recall with certainty that you had the holiday dance you wanted.

Dancing With a Million Ideas (More or Less)

It’s an interesting phenomenon that I’m experiencing.  Last week, I made a commitment to be open to the invitations of the universe and respond to said invitations without hesitation.  My objective here is to build some momentum based on creative, inspired energy.  What I didn’t bargain on was the myriad of ideas and invitations that would come my way.  Honestly, it’s as though every waking moment is filled with idea after idea after idea.  It could almost stop me in my tracks!

I haven’t allowed that to happen, however, because I’m aware that my commitment is to moving forward.  That’s what “responding to the invitations of the universe” means for me — moving forward on the path of my destiny without hesitation.  What I’ve had to learn (or, perhaps it’s “re-learn”),  however, is that even while there are many ideas coming my way, I don’t have to dance with them all at the same time.  If I pick one to engage with – any one at all – the others will keep circulating until I feel ready to dance with them.  That is, if they really want to dance in the first place.

In other words, I don’t have to be overwhelmed by the myriad of ideas and invitations.  I don’t have to fear that they’ll disappear and I’ll miss my chance.  Instead, I can totally trust that the really great ideas that want my attention will stick around while I give another great idea my attention; essentially, great ideas will wait their turn and I can just latch on to one and go with it for now.  The not-so-great ideas will fizzle into the background sooner rather than later, whether I give them my attention or not.

Bottom-line:  dancing with a million ideas — at least in the context of living life — means following one partner at a time, trusting that the others will be waiting when I’m done.  In the great dance of life, I don’t have to fear missing out on anything.  The ideas that want my attention will stick around.  It’s all good.

Watcha Thinkin’ About?

Thoughts create our reality.  Everywhere I look, this idea seems to be gaining more popularity.  From my perspective, that’s a good thing, because I believe that this is more than a novel idea; I believe that the statement “thoughts create our reality” is a fact.  Some may disagree, and that’s okay (I guess).  And yet, the more I read, the more I look around and observe, the more I witness evidence of thoughts being made manifest in some way, shape or form.

So it has me really getting curious on a moment-to-moment basis:  what am I thinking about?  What are my predominant thoughts?  Where do I put my focus?  And then, even as I get curious about my own thoughts, I’m curious about the thoughts that others are holding.  I mean, there are such diverse circumstances in our world at large, and even in my own small community.  What thoughts are people holding, consciously or not?

I guess that’s what I’m starting to realize more and more: oftentimes, the thoughts that dominate one’s existence tend to be unconscious in nature.  Which, in consideration of the fact that “thoughts create our reality”, seems self-defeating to a certain extent.  It’s like abdicating creative control over your life, isn’t it?  If  your thoughts create your reality, doesn’t it seem wise to be consciously choosing the thoughts you hold?

Bottom-line:  it’s time to get deliberate about thinking.  It’s time to invoke some discipline, not in a harsh, dictatorial sort of way, but in a defined, deliberate, self-aware sort of way.  Because when you choose your thoughts, you choose your reality.  So, what reality are you going for?