Leadership Without Judgment?

The title of this blog post has a question mark in it because I’m curious as to the possibility of being able to lead without judgment.  I state that just in case my thought-process isn’t obvious.  Actually, I suppose my initial curiousity has more to do with judgment-free language than judgment-free leadership.

You see, throughout my coaching today, I’ve run into a theme whereby I see clients — hear clients — judging their choices as good or bad, or some version thereof.  This has me wondering whether or not it’s possible to evaluate something, whether it’s an action or a choice or whatever, without judging it.  For me, while the distinction is subtle, I believe it exists nonetheless.  And, I think when you can evaluate without judgment — without condemnation — then you facilitate growth, movement and progress far more easily than when you stand in judgment.  I guess that’s the essence of what’s coming up for me:  an awareness that judgment somehow contains a seed of condemnation, and that such condemnation stifles growth.

So, what becomes possible for you or me as leaders, when we can evaluate things from the place of simply evaluating?  Without beating ourselves up for the choices we’ve made or the perspectives we’ve held?  Without engaging in put-downs about where our choices have gotten us versus where we’ve wanted to go?  What opens up when we can lead and evaluate simply from a place of allowing and evaluating?  I have a hunch that, while evaluating without judgment seems contradictory in some ways, if we can actually find a way to do this — if we can stop making ourselves right or wrong and simply allow our observations to be just that, observations — then we will actually find ourselves moving forward, growing and evolving more effectively.

I guess the bottom-line thought that I’m holding at the moment — or at least entertaining — is the thought that judgment does not serve authentic leadership. Evaluation absolutely serves leadership.  So, in order to be an effective leader, you must be willing to continually evaluate — without going to the place of judgment.  Something to try on for a bit, I think.

Keeping Connections Real

Yes, another post today.  Seems like I’m in a writing mode lately, doesn’t it?  I think it’s me playing to a strength, doing something I love, and being able to expound on a new learning or insight.  It’s a way for me to stay in conversatin and exploration with others about issues that feel relevant in the moment.  Which is a great seguey into the topic for this post:  connections.

We live in a world which seemingly affords the opportunity to be forever connected.  And you would think that, given my belief in the importance of human connection, that I would welcome this.  And I do, for the most part.  I do have one reservation however, and this is around the depth and sincerity of these virtual connections.  You see, so often, the connections that are being made seem fleeting and superficial.  Virtual communications also eliminate a critical aspect to the human need for connection, and that is the energetic quality that can only be experienced through voice or touch.

Over this past week I’ve really noticed that I have a need to really connect with others.  Email is wonderful, social networking is great, but I need to have connections that go that one step deeper.  I need to be in the physical presence of others — I need to see faces, hear voices and sometimes hold another’s hand.  In other words, the language simply isn’t enough for me.  I need the subtle nuances of connection that get expressed when we’re genuinely together.

Don’t get me wrong:  at times, email communication, or social networking is better than nothing.  After all, I can often “hear” another person’s voice even when I’m simply reading an email just as well as if they were here.  As our world continues to move ahead at sometimes breakneck speeds, however, I think it behooves us to ensure that we aren’t removing the total experience of connection altogether.  I personally think that two-dimensional connections aren’t enough for us to thrive as we’re intended.

Bottom-line: go ahead –  engage in the virtual communications and get with the times by all means.  At some point, however, remind yourself to keep the connections real.  That way you’ll stay connected to who you really are as well.

Another Way to Be

So, yesterday I delivered my first “sermon” at a nearby United Church.  They were celebrating an anniversary and had invited me to share a message of inspiration in place of the usual sermon.  Granted, when they first made their request, they tiptoed around the word “sermon” for a bit, but they finally came out and named it for what it was.  Needless to say, my initial reaction was a combination of laughter and anxiety – I mean, do I come across as a theological expert?  (I figure people who give sermons have to have some level of theological expertise!).  But then I decided that a sermon wasn’t all that different from the motivational presentations I usually give.  I have been an active church member for all of my life so I have a sound theological base.   And heck, they obviously want to hear what I have to say.  So I agreed (obviously) to deliver.

The topic I chose to “preach” (goodness it’s funny to say that!) about was “The Power of Being”.  You see, I’m a big advocate of “being”.  I think it’s one of the most natural human processes, but one that has been all but abandoned in our modern, fast-paced, action-filled society.  Anyone who’s not “doing” something must be lazy or on vacation.  There seems to be a pervasive disregard that exists for what appears to be idleness.

I want to draw your attention, however, to the fact that our very language describes our species collectively as human BEINGS, not human DOINGS.  I personally believe that this is significant.  Our essence, our power resides in how we be and who we be, moment to moment, day to day.  When we deny ourselves the opportunity to BE, for whatever reason, we deny ourselves the opportunity to be truly engaged with who we are.

So what’s the big deal? Why does BEING matter?  My belief is that so often the answers we seek, the directions we’re looking for, are all available to us and accessible by us when we take the time to be still.  Rather than jumping immediately to the question “what should I do?”, I assert that the process is best engaged in in the following way:  first, determine to BE still — take some time to just sit (where you sit doesn’t really matter), turn your attention inward and just BE.  Once you’ve connected and felt the stillness around you, ask the question, “how will I be going forward?”.  The answers to this question are as varied as you can imagine.  You may choose to be angry, sad, happy, progressive, open, focused — whatever.  Once you’ve determined how you will be, the final question is “What will I do/choose/decide?” as it relates to whatever issue you’re currently facing.  You see, when you connect with your beingness, the essence of who you are, you give yourself the experience of informing your choice of action from a really genuine place within.  Your choices and decisions aren’t haphazard — they’re aligned with your very core essence.

Bottom-line: giving yourself permission, time and space to BE actually allows you to move forward more expediently and more in alignment than if you just plow ahead.  SIMPLY BEING isn’t a lazy choice, it’s a powerful one.  Doesn’t have to be long, and it does have to happen.  So, go out there and BE.  It’s what I’m off to do right now.

Authenticity

How are you selling yourself short?

Authenticity

Always be a first-rate version of yourself, rather than a second-rate version of somebody else.  ~Judy Garland