Leaders are People Too

I’m here at the official end of my work week, looking back with gratitude and curiousity at what has been one hell of a roller-coaster ride, to say the least.  Ups, downs, twists, turns — these are the directions that my journey has taken this week, ending with a bit of goodness to sort of “round it all off” if you will.

While hurtling along on this thrill ride, I’ve found myself dealing with the whole spectrum of emotions: everything from sadness and anger, to joy and gratitude.  There’s even been a bit of wonder in there.  And what I noticed is that a lot of people, myself included, had difficulty at times being with that whole emotional range.  When I stood in the place of possibility, curiousity and optimism, most people were fine and comfortable hanging around.  But whenever I succumbed to the realm of sadness, anger or grief, all the “fixer-genes” seemed to come out — nobody wanted me to be in that space, and if I was going to be there, then they were going to leave.  It was as though I wasn’t allowed to experience that particular quality of emotion.

Well, here’s what I want to say — to myself ,to my chorus of saboteurs, my family, my friends, my colleagues, and heck, even to those of you who’ve never met me:  leaders are people too.  By which I mean that everyone, no matter who they are or what they’re trying to achieve in the world has ups and downs, joys and sorrows, fears and quandries.  And furthermore, everyone is allowed to have these, to experience these, to be with these,and to move forward when they’re ready.

This isn’t about perfection or imperfection.  This is about getting, really understanding, that a complete life is marked by a complete range of experiences.  EVERYONE will experience joy, fear, sadness, anger, frustration, curiousity and whatever else you can think of.  Leaders, followers, optimists, pessimists, realists — everyone.  And when they do, there’s something to be said for simply allowing the experience to be, for bearing witness and standing alongside the person, rather than running to fix or trying to move them along.

Speaking (well, writing) as someone who’s just felt my world rocked by fear — as someone who doesn’t often get this scared — trust me on this.  Leaders are people too.  And sometimes, that’s all you need to know.

What’s Keeping You Up at Night?

Just came across this question in a friend’s email this morning, and thought it was very apt for me and my circumstance currently.  You see, I haven’t really “slept” for about 2 weeks now.  I mean, yes, I’m sleeping — but not in a restful, rejuvenating way.  Every morning I wake up and just want to go back to sleep.  And I’m not really sure why.  There are numerous theories floating around out there thanks to well-intentioned friends and family members: I’m worried about something, I’m too busy, I’m not taking care of myself, yadayadayada.  And there seems to be a modicum of truth in every theory.  I AM pretty busy at the moment; there are a number of things occuping my thoughts (although I wouldn’t say I’m “worried” per se); the preoccupation has me taking less care of my physical health than usual.  But here’s what I’ve come to realize: what’s keeping me up at night actually doesn’t matter.  Huh?  That’s right, it doesn’t matter, and here’s why.

Exploring what is on your mind or going on in your body to prevent you from getting the rest you need does merit some of your time.  But not to the degree that it keeps you on the treadmill of “not sleeping.”.  You see, I could think this thing through and work myself into such a frenzy that I get even less sleep.  Trust me, this would NOT be a good thing!  Or I can just acknowledge that my current sleep pattern is less than ideal and stay on the lookout for signs of how to rectify the situation.  This isa classic scenario in which “holding a question” rather than working to answer that same question, can serve well.  In this case, the question is “what’s keeping me up at night?”.  If I just hold that question, and allow the answer to surface, I’m more likely to find a solution to whatever the issue is than if I try to force the answer.

Bottom-line: trying to force an answer to reveal itself — especially when you’re sleep-deprived — will not be of much benefit, to you or those around you.  Instead, allowing the answer to emerge organically is the route to take.  It boils down to trust and faith.  It’s time to trust that what’s keeping you up isn’t something to worry about, it’s just something that is — and will pass in due course.  Until then, a mug of warm milk, or a cup of chamomile tea will serve you well.