It’s Time to Stop Dragging Your Heels

One of the things that I find myself facing from time-to-time, is the challenge of dealing with people who seem to be dragging their feet.  You know the type.  They say they want something, but they don’t seem to be willing to do a whole lot about it.  In the context of the work I do with leaders, this often takes the form of wishing — “I wish my team would work more cohesively” or “I wish I could reach my objective of hosting five retreats this year”.  Wishing is a way of dragging your feet — especially if all you’re doing is wishing.

You see, as a leader, wishing in and of itself isn’t a bad thing.  Wishes carry the seeds of dreams.  And dreams can and do fuel leadership visions.  That being said, when you allow yourself to stay in “wishing mode” without taking action of some sort, things do not evolve and shift.  Nothing changes.  You’re dragging your heels.  And that does not serve leadership, ever.

Dragging your heels isn’t about moving and acting slowly.  Dragging your heels is about not taking action at all, sometimes disguising the fact by pencil pushing, acting on the trivial, and leaving the big stuff until later.  The only problem is that “later” never seems to arrive.  And so the wish stays a wish and doesn’t become a reality.

Whether your leadership vision is about busting through the glass financial ceiling, launching a new product, or starting a global movement is irrelevant.  With all leadership visions, there comes a point when you’ve got to move from the place of wishing and dreaming and take action.  Without action of some sort — even small, baby steps day-by-day — your vision cannot become reality.

Bottom-line:  we’re over 1/2 way through 2010.  Whatever your leadership vision — or even your personal vision, stop dealing with the small tasks, hold the big vision, and take at least one step towards major action.  Small steps lead to big steps, big steps lead to vision becoming reality.  Stop dragging your heels.

Yep, It Works (Being vs. Doing, that is)

Second post for today — feels necessary given the last rant.  I’ll keep it brief.

I ended my last post by stating that I was choosing to be with my anger rather than try to do anything with it.  Turned out that was the best thing I could’ve done (ironic, I know, given that I wasn’t really “doing” anything).  You see, by choosing to simply be with the anger — feel it, let it bubble up, not ignore it or use it in any way, I was able to move through it fairly quickly.  And once I was through the anger, clarity began to emerge.

What I’ve relearned through this experience today is that ultimately, there needs to be this balance between being and doing, and that many times the balance looks like more being than doing.  Which can be a tricky concept in our “doing-based” society.  What I know for sure is that when I let things be, myself included, the required doing naturally happens.  What actually needs to get done is naturally illuminated.  And then I can settle into that state of ease — the state that I know is my natural one.

Bottom-line:  when it comes right down to it, when you don’t know what to do, just be.  It’ll move you to gold everytime.

How Much of It is REALLY About You?

In his book “The Four Agreements”, Don Miguel Ruiz lists “Don’t Take Things Personally” as one of the cornerstones of healthy human interaction.  Now I’ve got to admit, this is probably the agreement that I find most challenging to honour.  What I’ve come to realize over the last several months is that I have a default pattern whereby I USUALLY take things personally — as in I often take a situation or happening and make it about me.  And this pattern really ain’t working for me.

Has me wonder how many others do the same sort of thing — take things personally that really aren’t personal.  What I’ve learned through playing with Ruiz’s Four Agreements is that very little is personal in this world, and even when something is personal, it’s actually better for everyone to operate as if it isn’t.

You see, when you take a situation — say your neighbor has a habit of intruding on your space — and focus on the impact their behaviour is having on you, you’re making the situation about you — and it’s not.  One of the realizations I’ve had is that a person’s actions are about them, my reaction is about me.  So, the fact that a neighbor intrudes on your space is about them – that’s their behaviour.  How you respond (anger, frustration, angst, letting go, whatever) is about you.

When you separate a person’s actions from your reaction, when you realize that their action has NOTHING to do with you personally, you are liberated from the shackles that otherwise imprison you.  You’re free to make choices that are otherwise unseen.

Bottom-line: next time you find yourself freaking out about someone else’s actions, ask yourself if your reaction is conveying a message about YOU that you’re really comfortable with.