Me & My Mom

Mother’s Day is fast approaching, and so a blog post about moms really does feel like the appropriate topic, don’t you think?  It’s timely, it’s relevant and in some ways cathartic, you know?

You see, my mom and I have an interesting relationship.  I can’t honestly say that it’s been all hugs and kisses all the time — can any daughter say that truthfully?  In fact, my mom and I went through a period of several years that were downright rocky.  At least from my perspective.  I mean, you’ve gotta love those years of teenage angst.  Granted, it was over two decades ago, but I can still feel the pain of it.  As I’m sure my mom can.  I remember feeling misunderstood, unappreciated, less than worthy — and in hindsight, my guess is that my mom felt the same way.  I can see that now, looking back on my life through my own lens of motherhood.

What I know now — now that I’m a mother twice-over –  is that being a mother is complicated.  My experience is that no matter what you do or how you do it, it’ll be less than perfect — even when it is entirely perfect.  You’ll be tired at times, you’ll be angry at times.  Just like your child feels misunderstood, so will you. Just as you are often taken foregranted,  so too will you take your child foregranted.  Sometimes you’ll say too much, sometimes too little, and sometimes you won’t know what to say at all.  Such is the role of mothers.

What I also know, however, is that through it all, a mother-child bond is absolutely indestructible.  No matter how angry, how hurt, how confused, how sad, how happy, how excited the parties in question are — nothing can really destroy the mother-child bond.  You might think it’s been destroyed; you might think ties have been severed; you might even feel that foundations have been rocked.  You might choose, for various reasons, to distance yourself from whatever energy you find toxic or otherwise debilitating.  Some would say this is wise.   And yet, when I look at all of the people in my life who have mothers (which, let’s face it, is everybody) and those who are mothers, I know this much is true.  Mothers are irreplaceable.  Mothers are like no other.

And so, from the right side of teenage-hood, having moved past much of the hurt and angst and finding myself in the place of “shared experience” with my mother, let me say, very publicly and sincerely — Mom, I love you.  Happy Mother’s Day to you!