The Funny Side of Leadership

Sometimes, it feels like leadership is serious business.  So much to do.  So many people relying on you.  So many decisions to make.  So much responsibility.  Bottom-line:  So much of so much.  And it all rests with you as the leader.  Doesn’t matter if you’re the leader of a country, the leader of a company, or the leader of a family, the position of leader carries with it a lot of weight.  And weight can weigh things down, feel heavy, somber, serious.

One of the things I know for sure, however, is that despite the serious nature of leadership, the most effective leaders — the ones who leave a lasting impression (of a good sort), the ones who get things done and inspire others to do the same, are the ones who can laugh a little.  Because there is a funny side to leadership, you know?  There are laughable moments, there are jokes at one’s own expense, there’s a comical side to most any problem you encounter.  Part of your job as a leader is to find those funny sides and embrace them.  Laugh a little.  Actually, laugh a lot.  Why?  Because laughter takes the pressure off.  Laughter keeps things light.

As a leader, when you can laugh, you can infuse a situation with lightness.  When you infuse a situation with lightness, you actually clear away the “muck” (whatever the “muck” of the moment is) and clear the way for solutions, ideas, opportunities that couldn’t be seen before.  The cliche is that “laughter is the best medicine” — and science shows us over and over again that laughter does in fact have healing properties.  Or at least, it induces the production of certain healing chemicals and hormones in the body — naturally.  In other words, laughter serves.  The challenge is this:  when things are feeling heavy, you’ve got to be deliberate about the laughter.  And, it’s not as challenging as you might think.  Here are a few simple strategies to bring on the laughter when you need it most:

1. Keep a “funny file” close at hand.  A file on your computer or in your filing cabinet, this is where you can keep a stock of jokes, sayings, anecdotes, whatever brings about a laugh.
2. Subscribe to a funny blog, or joke site.  There are many out there — and it’s a great way to start your day (or end it, as the case may be) with a laugh.
3. Close your eyes and recall a funny event — a moment at a comedy show, a funny family situation, an “America’s Funniest Videos” moment — anything that gets you giggling.
4. Share your laughs with a colleague.  Remember, “shared sorrow is half a sorrow; shared joy is double joy.”  Who doesn’t want double joy?
5. Listen to the sound of a baby laughing — seriously, nothing can get you laughing more easily than the infectious sound of an infant’s uninhibited laughter.

Bottom-line:  you want to lead at your best?  Find the funny side of leadership and laugh a little. Leaders who can laugh are leaders who can lead with the best of them.

Me & My Mom

Mother’s Day is fast approaching, and so a blog post about moms really does feel like the appropriate topic, don’t you think?  It’s timely, it’s relevant and in some ways cathartic, you know?

You see, my mom and I have an interesting relationship.  I can’t honestly say that it’s been all hugs and kisses all the time — can any daughter say that truthfully?  In fact, my mom and I went through a period of several years that were downright rocky.  At least from my perspective.  I mean, you’ve gotta love those years of teenage angst.  Granted, it was over two decades ago, but I can still feel the pain of it.  As I’m sure my mom can.  I remember feeling misunderstood, unappreciated, less than worthy — and in hindsight, my guess is that my mom felt the same way.  I can see that now, looking back on my life through my own lens of motherhood.

What I know now — now that I’m a mother twice-over –  is that being a mother is complicated.  My experience is that no matter what you do or how you do it, it’ll be less than perfect — even when it is entirely perfect.  You’ll be tired at times, you’ll be angry at times.  Just like your child feels misunderstood, so will you. Just as you are often taken foregranted,  so too will you take your child foregranted.  Sometimes you’ll say too much, sometimes too little, and sometimes you won’t know what to say at all.  Such is the role of mothers.

What I also know, however, is that through it all, a mother-child bond is absolutely indestructible.  No matter how angry, how hurt, how confused, how sad, how happy, how excited the parties in question are — nothing can really destroy the mother-child bond.  You might think it’s been destroyed; you might think ties have been severed; you might even feel that foundations have been rocked.  You might choose, for various reasons, to distance yourself from whatever energy you find toxic or otherwise debilitating.  Some would say this is wise.   And yet, when I look at all of the people in my life who have mothers (which, let’s face it, is everybody) and those who are mothers, I know this much is true.  Mothers are irreplaceable.  Mothers are like no other.

And so, from the right side of teenage-hood, having moved past much of the hurt and angst and finding myself in the place of “shared experience” with my mother, let me say, very publicly and sincerely — Mom, I love you.  Happy Mother’s Day to you!

Hearing the WHOLE Message

Here is Canada we just had another election (our 4th in 6 years, or something bizarre like that).  The results are in, and the Conservative party — one of 5 major parties — is in with a majority.  Now, in the Canadian system this means that they won greater than 155 of the available 308 seats in the House of Commons.  It does not necessarily mean that they won the majority of the popular vote — which they didn’t.  Their share of the popular vote was, in fact, just shy of 40%.  Which means that just over 60% of the country wanted a party other than the conservatives to govern.  In light of the fact that we have a multiple party system, and a system that doesn’t rely on proportional representation, all of this adds up to the Conservatives winning the election.

As I watched the results emerge on Monday night, I said to my husband that there were multiple messages being put forward, and that it was my sincerest hope that every party leader — regardless of where they placed in the election overall — would pay attention to the messages that were being put forth.  To ALL of the messages, not just the “we won” or “we lost” messages that inevitably rise to the top.  Don’t get me wrong; the “we won” and “we lost” messages are important; and they don’t tell the whole story.  There are subtleties — and even not so subtleties — that will get lost if the focus remains on simply winning or losing.  In my opinion, if the Conservatives — the winners — focus solely on their win, if they bulldoze their way forward with policies and corresponding implementation, if they ignore the other messages, including the one that the majority of voters actually voted for another party, I’m not sure they’ll be able to win again.  Indeed, the runner-up party made great strides this election, breaking historical records, and placing themselves as legitimate contenders for any election that comes up in the future.

Bottom-line:  I believe that there is a lesson in this election for each and every one of us as leaders.  Simply put, the lesson is this:  while you may choose where you put your focus, which component of the message you want to hear most strongly, you must also be aware of the whole message that’s being put forward.  Pay attention; don’t get arrogant.  Granted, you don’t want to ignore the “positive” in favour of the “negative”; however, pretending that the “negative” wasn’t part of the message doesn’t work either.  Hear the whole message, and move forward accordingly.