More on Saying No

This week’s LAUNCH ezine article was all about saying no.  More specifically, it was about saying “no” without a whole lot of extraneous detail.  If you didn’t catch it, surf on over to www.stellarcc.com and sign up in the bottom left-hand corner to receive this weekly publication — it’s full of thought-provoking content and updates in the Stellar Coaching & Consulting world.  All that being said, I want to expand a little on the “saying no” theme.

One of the things that I find particularly challenging is when people drag out a refusal.  You know the type:  you ask a question, you can hear the energy of an implied “no”, however, the word itself is never uttered.  Instead, you’re strung along for a ride of sorts.  The length of the ride varies depending on the person and situation, but the bottom-line is that the “no” just doesn’t get uttered.  For me, the most frustrating thing is the amount of time I invest in continuing to have a dialogue with someone when, in hindsight, I realize that they never intended to say “yes” in the first place.

Here’s a tip folks:  if you know that you’re answer is no –regardless of the reason or rationale — just say so, right up front, right from the get-go.  If you need additional information, a phrase such as “I’m thinking I”m not interested, but tell me more” at least tells me where you’re leaning.  But moving along with a “that sounds great, let me think about it — I just have to do x,y or z” or some other variation of this statement is not a gentle refusal.  It’s flat-out misleading.  And very frustrating.

Bottom-line:  whatever guilt you may be harbouring over having to deny a request of mine, get over it.  Believe it or not, not only can I handle a refusal, I’d prefer an honest refusal up=front, to an insincere maybe that leaves me hopeful for no reason.  If the answer’s no, just say it.  That’s far more effective than leaving me hanging.