Learning to Respond

Have you ever had it happen where you’re presented with a piece of information that sends you for a spin (metaphorically-speaking, of course)?  You know, a curve ball of sorts.  You’re going through your day tickity-boo when, out of nowhere, you get a call or an email that gives you information that you either didn’t need, didn’t want, or has you confused in some way.  I know it happens to me from time-to-time.  So I know it happens to you (my opening question really was a rhetorical one!).

What do you do when that happens?  This is something I’ve been playing with — consciously and deliberately — this week.  What I notice from my own experience, and I’m willing to bet that it’s true for you as well, is that your instinct is to dive in and address the issue at hand RIGHT NOW.  There’s a way that you just react.  Right?  Of course you do.  It’s what your mind is trained to do.  What I’m working at doing — and in turn inviting you to do — is start RESPONDING instead.  You know, take a moment (or 5 or 10 moments), breathe, re-read or re-listen to the information.  Remove whatever emotional charge you hear or experience.  And then, from a truly grounded space, respond.

I know, I know, sometimes there isn’t time to get grounded.  Well, what I’m learning is that getting grounded actually doesn’t take a lot of time.  The time it takes to draw a single, deliberate breath will do it.  In that moment you can release yourself of any emotion, anchor yourself in a solid way, and respond.

Why is this important to leadership?  Because everyone around you needs you to be grounded in the way you show up.  When you react, you’re likely to say or do something you’ll regret.  Something that’s not congruent.  Something that’s based on inaccurate perception.  You’ll hear insinuation where there may not be any, you’ll sense accusation that may not exist, you’ll feel mal-intent that’s really not there.  And if you react to those things, you’ll end up creating a situation that doesn’t need to get created — a situation that flies in the face of whatever your leadership vision is.

Sometimes, you will react, no doubt about it.  And yet, if you can get more deliberate about RESPONDING to whatever shows up, you’ll definitely lessen the reactionary fallout.  It may be challenging to give yourself the time to respond vs. react.  But knowing that it only takes a moment, it’s a moment that’s definitely worth taking.   So go ahead.  Breathe; then respond.