Compassion in Leadership

Yesterday, I signed the Charter for Compassion.  You can check it out here www.charterforcompassion.org.  You may not know it but compassion is a really strong value of mine — like REALLY strong — and I often contemplate how compassion serves, what gets in the way of compassion and the link between compassion and leadership.  Because there is one, you know.

My personal perspective is that compassion is actually a big part of effective, meaningful leadership.  If you want to be the best leader you possibly can, then my sense is that you’ve got to find a way to make compassion part of your modus operandi.  I know that this can be hard for some, maybe even for you.  And I think the reason for this is that it’s too easy to confuse “being compassionate” with “being soft”, or letting people off the hook.  Being compassionate is none of these things.

Definitively, when you look up the meaning of compassion, you’ll find that “compassion is a deep awareness of and sympathy for another person’s feelings, coupled with a wish to relieve it.” (www.freedictionary.com.)  I think it’s the last part of the definition that gets misinterpreted.  “Relieving another’s suffering” can feel daunting and, for some reason, it’s easy to believe that relieving suffering is about bending the rules for someone, or giving them a free pass.  It’s not.  Instead, I believe that compassion is rooted in the understanding that everyone — yes, everyone — has something of value to bring, that this “something” can be hindered by personal circumstances (poverty, violence, ignorance, illness, etc;) and that an understanding and willingness to bear witness to the circumstances, to support the person in navigating the circumstance without letting them off the hook or allowing them to escape responsibility, is what allows their best — whatever their best may be — to come forward.  This is what truly “relieving suffering” looks like.  Yes, you need to give something of yourself — and often, what you give doesn’t have to be much more than your presence and willingness to serve.

As a leader, your job is to be aware of a) what it is that each person’s best is and b) the circumstances that may or may not be allowing their best to come forward.  Your job is to then stand in a place of compassion and understanding so that you can invite and coax the best out of that person.  This means that you have to take time to give of yourself; this means that you have to listen; this means that you have to be present to your own vision, and to the needs and circumstances of those around you.  Compassion is what will allow you to really lead, in the sense of leading people to become all of who they are.  And this can absolutely be done within the context of whatever systems and policies are part of your organization.  Believe it or not, you can enforce policy with compassion.

Bottom-line:  great leadership is not about being rigid or towing the party-line.  Great leadership is actually rooted in compassion.  If you think about the great leaders of our time — and historically — you will see this.  Step into compassion and lead from there.  Compassion will never steer you wrong.

Want more insight into this idea?  A fabulous read is “The Anatomy of Peace” by The Arbinger Institute.