Leadership & Letting Go
Woke up this morning, came downstairs, powered up my computer and contemplated on what to write in this blog today. As I waited for things to boot up, I did a quick scan of my email box. In there, I found a notification that indicated someone had unsubscribed from my newsletter mailing list. And it’s someone I know. Someone who I believed was getting value from being connected with me and plugging in to my business world. The email removal request was surprising — and, I’ll admit it, it hurt just a bit. Until I remembered something: her choice to remove her name from my email list is about her, her needs, and where she’s at; it’s really not about me.
I mean, yes, it’s probably fair to assume (and I really try not to assume if at all possible) that for some reason she’s no longer getting value out of my publication. It may even be that she’s purging a whole lot of things from her life at this moment, and my newsletter happens to fall within the scope of all of that. Regardless, however, I can’t dwell on the fact that she’s removed herself. I can, if I wish, determine the reason why and see how I might address that need. And, her need may in fact have nothing to do with me, or it may not be something that I can meet. This is actually where I need to stay really clear on what I do and don’t do, have confidence in the value I bring to those who remain within my database, and truly lean in to the wisdom of the saying that people come into your life for a reason, a season or a lifetime. Her reason or season may simply be up; and I need to allow that to be okay.
Believe it or not, I can see the implications for leadership in this little experience. Sometimes, as a leader, you can become attached to certain people. You can begin to think that they’ll be in the picture forevermore. And the result is that you can have difficulty letting go when you need to let go, which means you’ll stagnate a bit. Leadership requires you to be willing to let go — either by your own choice, or by virtue of the fact that the person in question realizes that their path is taking them elsewhere. Your job as leader is to not take the changes or leavings personally, anchor yourself in what your about, tweak if need be, and continue to move forward.
Bottom-line: effective leadership requires you to learn how to let go with grace. It’s part of the whole deal. It’s the only way you can keep moving forward to whatever your vision is. You need to trust that letting go and the accompanying changes serve the big picture. And you’ve got to let go with grace so you can lead without stagnating.
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