Letting the Last Word Go
So often, it can be tempting to go for the last word. In a discussion that has any heat in it at all, having the last word can feel powerful to a certain degree. There can be a sense of having had “more information” or “more insight” that allowed the last word in the first place. In other words, having the last word can leave you feeling like you must’ve been right all along. Here’s the thing, however; the best leaders don’t always have to have the last word. Truly effective leaders ensure that their words have impact no matter where in the discussion they fall, so having the last word is no longer necessary. In fact, I would suggest that being able to let the last word go is the mark of a truly effective leader.
To illustrate the point I want to invite you to think about a recent heated discussion you may have had. It could have been in the professional context, or even in your personal life. As the conversation progressed, as things got more and more heated, where did you notice your energy going? My guess is that it was going towards “proving your point.” Anytime you’re striving to prove your point, you inevitably will go for having the last word. Something within you convinces you that you’ve got to have your words be the ones that people remember, and they’ll only remember what was last said. This is very much a misnomer. Those around you won’t simply remember the last thing said. They will remember the things that are said with most conviction and most accuracy. They will also remember the things that were said without words — they’ll remember the energy.
Bottom-line: as a leader, if you want to be truly effective, it behooves you to get over the need to have the last word. Avoid getting caught in the trap of having to convince others of your point. Certainly, know what you want to say, and repeat it as necessary. That being said, strengthen your leadership message by being willing to let the last word go. Let the conversation as a whole say more than whatever the last word was or wasn’t. The last word, after all, is only one word.
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