Leadership is About Relationships, Not Tasks
As a leader, you’ve got a lot to do. No doubt about it, there are tasks galore. Probably a mountain-load, right? And yet, if you want to be a great leader, you’ve got to understand that the mark of your leadership lies in your ability to build quality relationships. This is the most important task for you to undertake. Whatever your to-do-list says on it, if you do not invest time in building relationships, it won’t matter how many tasks you cross off your list.
Building relationships requires you to be present to those around you. You’ve got to listen, you’ve got to connect, you’ve got to invest time and energy in others. This applies to team members, absolutely, but relationship building goes beyond this particular parameter. If you’re the leader of a political party, you must build relationships with constituents. Leader of a religious group? Build relationships with your members and would-be members (and everyone you run into is a would-be member!). Leader of a corporation? Build relationships with your managers, your staff — everyone from the most entry-level position to your most senior manager. No matter what your leadership title, you must hone your ability to build relationships. Without this skill, it won’t matter how productive or efficient you are. People want to feel connected to their leaders. People want to feel connected to you.
Bottom-line: as a leader you’re probably very effective and efficient at getting things done. One of those things, however, has got to be relationship-building. If you’re not so good at this, all the other stuff won’t matter.
Having said all this, let me share that I will be on holidays from now until the 3rd of January — time for me to build relationship with my family 
So, the next blog post will be on January 3rd, 2011. In closing, because I celebrate Christmas, I offer you the traditional greeting of Merry Christmas — and for those of you who don’t celebrate Christmas, I wish you all the best of the season. May you enjoy celebrating whatever tradition is yours at this time of year. And may 2011 come in a light-filled way for you and yours!
You’re the Leader, They’re Watching You
No, I’m not talking about a big-brother conspiracy theory in any way. Instead, I’m talking about the fact that as a leader, you are an example to those around you. People watch you and look to you for direction. They emulate what you do; they take their cue from you. So, are you modeling choices that serve the big picture?
This question is particularly relevant in the area of self-care. You know that taking care of yourself is important. Often the challenge, however, is that you’re also aware of all that needs to be done. And you likely tell yourself some version of the “there’s not enough time” story. Which can translate into you working late hours, never turning your email off, working when you say you’re relaxing, etc; etc;. What’s the message you’re striving to send your team with these actions? My guess is you’re striving to convey a strong work ethic. Very noble of you; and not very accurate. Because what actually gets internalized is some version of “taking care of myself is not important.” Not a message that serves the big picture at all.
Self-care is vital to the success of any project. Health and wellness must be maintained, and this can only be done when you take time to take care of your needs. Everyone needs to build in breaks, and you as the leader must model this. When you exemplify strong self-care strategies, those around you follow suit. The end-result is enhanced efficiency, goal achievement and overall success.
Bottom-line: you’re the leader and by virtue of this fact, you are being watched. Those around you will do what you do. So model great self-care; great self-care leads to success. Always.
Being the Oil
Ever wonder what keeps some teams working like well-oiled machines? You know what I’m going to say, don’t you? It’s the leader. If you’re a great leader, then you are the oil that keeps your team moving almost effortlessly towards whatever objective has been set.
As a great leader you’ve got insight into the strengths and challenges of each and every team member. You’ve got a sense of what they can do individually, but more importantly, you’ve got a sense of what they can accomplish together. Moreover, you’ve got a sense of how they can best come together in order to be the most effective team in service of whatever your objective is. Once you’ve got them coming together, you are then the oil that works to keep each cog, so to speak, moving smoothly within the frame of other cogs so that all works together.
Leadership is about recognizing how you can grease the wheels of your team most effectively, so you can harness the greatest output of energy from your team. Every leadership skill you possess — from communication, to conflict resolution, to modeling, to challenging — contributes to your ability to keep the team wheels moving smoothly.
Bottom-line: while the analogy might not be great, I believe it’s accurate. As a leader, you are the oil that keeps your team machine working smoothly.
It’s Not All About You!
Earlier I did a posting that spoke to responsibility and leadership. In that post I shared that great leaders accept resp0nsibility for what works and what doesn’t — particularly what doesn’t. There’s a way in which inspired leaders are willing to ask themselves how their actions, choices and decisions contributed to whatever the outcome is. While excellent leaders are willing to accept responsibility for failures, they are also willing to share credit for successes.
Now let me be clear. This does not mean that as a great leader you cannot take credit for your role within successes. It does, however, mean that as a great leader — one who inspires, who effortlessly enrolls others in your vision — you have mastered the ability to own your part while acknowledging and sharing credit. It’s about having those around you really feel their worth and value, so that they continue to put their best efforts forward. When your team sees that you own your part in failures, and that you share credit for all successes, you automatically gain “buy-in” — those around you become invested in doing what needs to be done to make whatever project fly. It’s a thing of beauty.
Bottom-line: if you’re going to hold a leadership position, you’ve got to get over yourself. You have to be willing to know how you contributed to whatever outcome, and you absolutely have to share the credit. Sharing the credit ensures that others will continue to follow you. And if you’re going to lead, you’re going to need followers.
Sure, You’re Great; Now Strive for Better
Plateaus and standstills. Everyone hits them. You know you’ve hit at least one over the course of your lifetime, those times where you feel like you’ve accomplished whatever you set out to do, you’ve reached your goal, you’ve celebrated and now there’s a sense of stillness and uncertainty around you. “What’s next?” seems to be the question that hangs over you at all times. In these moments, the great leaders know that even while they own and celebrate their greatness, it’s time to set new objectives and strive for better.
Leadership doesn’t end once a goal is achieved. If anything, one might argue that great leaders step into the limelight in the time and space between the accomplishment of one goal, and the movement towards a new goal. The space in which you decide what’s next, that’s where your leadership is really needed. It’s time for you to model what it means to reach for the next great thing, whatever that might be.
Bottom-line: inspiring leaders strive not only for great, but for greater and greatest. In order to be at your leadership best, you need to constantly stretch beyond great, and model the same for those you lead. You’ve got to be willing to hold the question, “How can I make this better?” even when things are pretty darn good. That’s how you know you’re stepping into inspiring leadership.
What do The Others Think?
I’ve done a few posts recently about leadership and listening, specifically about how the latter enhances the former. Today’s post is going to take this a little further. As a leader, I want you to consider how good you are at entertaining the ideas of others.
When it comes to leading effectively, you know by now (at least you do if you’ve been reading these posts!) that effective listening is integral to phenomenal leadership. Listening in and of itself, however, isn’t enough. You’ve got to be willing to entertain the ideas of others, entertain the possibility that you might be wrong, and entertain the notion that “their” ideas may be more merit-filled than your own. In fact, the ideas that are out there in the brains of others, may often hold the best solutions to whatever problem you’re facing in any given moment.
To be an effective leader, it behooves you to ask the question, “what do you think?” at least as often as you put forward your own ideas. Furthermore, asking the question requires you to pay attention to the answer. Really pay attention. Hold the answer with respect and understand that you do not have the best answers all the time. You may have the best answers some of the time; and so might others.
Bottom-line: the best leaders are not only willing to listen to others, they’re willing to entertain the ideas of others and even implement those ideas from time-to-time. As a great leader you understand that the world does not revolve around you. This is another hallmark of great leadership
As a Leader, The Buck Stops with You
Great leaders accept responsibility. Period. There really isn’t a whole lot more to say about this, however, in case you’re in any way confused by what I’m trying to share with you, let me expand just a bit.
When you’re in a leadership role, and when your objective is to fulfill that role to the best of your ability, there is no room for blaming or abdicating of responsibility in any way. By virtue of the fact that you are the leader, you must be willing to own all that you do, all that falls under your domain, and the results that are generated under your direction. Even when the actions of one of your team members results in a particular negative outcome, there’s a way that you must ask yourself, what did I say/do/ignore/miss that resulted in this outcome? You are the leader; you impact outcome, always. So you must be willing to acknowledge your part in any given outcome — no more, no less.
Now, here’s the kicker. As a truly effective leader you must, similarly, be willing to share credit. As a leader, if you impact outcome, always, then this applies to positive outcomes also. That being said, great leaders do not toot their own horn. You’ve got to master the ability to share credit without taking credit, and to accept responsibility while not letting your team members off the hook. It’s a bit of a juggling act, no doubt about it. And yet, it all comes down to this: if you want to be a great leader, you’ve got to be able to explore what it is you’re doing — or not doing — that’s resulting in particular outcomes.
Bottom-line: as a leader, the buck stops with you. Accept it, and use this knowledge to build your leadership. Do this, and you can only lead better.
Newsflash — THEY Might Be Right, You Might Be Wrong
You’re a leader and you’ve got some great ideas. Everybody knows it, including you. And because you know it, you may well have a tendency to plow ahead without giving a whole lot of consideration to what others have to say. This tendency to ignore the ideas of others in favour of your own brilliance, however, doesn’t serve your leadership as well as you might think. Instead, you’ve got to be able — and willing — to listen to those around you.
Now, if you follow my blog posts at all, you might be saying, “hasn’t she already written about listening?” And you’d be right. But the idea that leaders must listen is one that bears repeating and highlighting. And so, I’m taking it from a slightly different angle this time.
You see, while the greatness of your ideas, your vision, and your insight does a lot for your particular brand of leadership, when you stop yourself from entertaining the ideas of others, you sell your leadership short. You really do. It’s rather like an incestuous relationship, in that your brain actually only has so many ideas available to it — similar to the gene pool within any given family — there’s only so much to pull from. As a result, when you hold the belief that only you are right, you deny yourself access to a myriad of other rich ideas that may actually benefit and enhance whatever it is you’re striving to create.
Bottom-line: if you really want your leadership to serve, if you really want to be the best leader you can be, you’ve got to be willing to entertain and listen to the ideas of others. You may well be right; and somebody else may be as well. Be willing to listen to those around you, and your leadership will be the better for it.
Recognizing & Nurturing the Seeds of Potential
As a leader, you’re surrounded by a team of individuals. Each of these individuals has strengths, skills, potential. Your job as a leader is two-fold in this regard: a) recognize the potential and b) nurture it, feed it, call it forth. If you fail in either of these areas, then you are not leading effectively.
Leadership requires you to call forth what others might not see within themselves. You know that the people on your team have strengths — otherwise they wouldn’t be on your team, right? And yet, so often, those people may or may not see what you see. If you want your leadership to be as powerful as possible, it is your responsibility to shine the light on those strengths and gifts, to support these individuals in accessing their full potential. To support you in doing this, here are 5 simple steps to follow:
- Name the strengths as you see them. Everything from communication ability, risk-taking, relationship-building, data analysis — whatever strength you see, name it.
- Challenge each person to maximize their use of said strengths. Provide opportunities to stretch and grow.
- Be sure that diversity is welcomed on your team. If you expect a cookie-cutter approach to problem-solving, inevitably some seeds will die.
- Allow mistakes — and allow individuals to learn from them. Don’t penalize mistakes; point to the learning instead.
- Celebrate successes, however small. Encourage individuals to build on these small successes, in order to ensure bigger successes.
Being a leader requires you to call people forth into the biggest, best possible vision of themselves. Following the steps above will ensure that you are able to do this effectively. And, by way of leading by example, be certain that you have someone or some people in your life who will do these same things for you. In order to invite people to be at their best, you need to have someone invite you to be at your best.
Want to Be a Great Leader? Get Over Yourself
One of the facts of leadership is that the buck, ultimately, stops with you. That’s right; when you wear the mantle of leadership you assume the ultimate responsibility of many things. In light of this, it can be easy to hoard responsibilities and tasks, forgetting the importance of the team alongside you. Really effective leaders, however, know that while the buck stops with them, true success requires the efforts of everyone.
In order to be the best leader you possibly can, you’ve got to remember that leaders are only recognizable as such if they have followers. And the only way to have followers is to see yourself as one of them, even as you recognize your role as leader. It’s a bit of a balancing act, to be sure. As a leader you need to enlist the support of your followers, asking them to help the cause in ways that maximize their individual strengths even while their help supports your vision. In other words, you’ve got to be able to put aside the idea that you are the be-all and end-all of you mission, and recognize that the people around you are who will ultimately guarantee the success of your plan — or not.
Bottom-line: great leaders have great followers, and enlist the support of those great followers at every turn. Real leaders know how to set their egos aside and ask for help. Real leaders make themselves part of the team instead of holding themselves apart. Want to be a great leader? Then you need to get over yourself.