When Insecurity Sets In

Insecurity.  It’s that feeling that comes over you when you’re not sure of what you’re doing, when you feel like you haven’t got the answers, when it seems like others are privy to information that eludes you.  Sometimes, the insecurity stems from a real place or circumstance –  you actually don’t know what you’re doing, or you don’t have the information.  At other times, it’s a figment of your imagination — for whatever reason you’re minimizing what you are capable of and playing small.  In either case, the question for your leadership is this:  how are you dealing with the insecurity?  And how is your approach serving your leadership?

Often, I’ve seen leaders who are in the insecure space attempt to puff themselves up, pulling a “fake it till you make it” attitude, trying to convince themselves and others that they actually are fine.  If you’re using this approach, you may well be isolating yourself, striving to prove yourself without assistance in an effort to show exactly what you’re capable of.  What I know for sure is that this approach doesn’t work.  Instead, people usually see right through it, and the insecurity becomes magnified.  If you’re working so hard to hide what you don’t know, your efforts aren’t going into leadership, they’re going into pretending.  And if you’re pretending to lead, you’re not leading.

So what’s the solution? Acknowledge where you’re falling short, what you don’t know, what you need.  You know that there are people around you who can help.  You don’t have to make yourself less than them in anyway; instead, you need to access their expertise in order to enhance your own.  As a leader, there is something you bring to the table, no doubt about it.  And, you’re as human as the next person, which means — like it or not — you don’t know everything, you don’t have all the answers.  Utilize your team, the people surrounding you, to fill in the gaps that exist.  That’s why they’re part of your team.  Don’t allow insecurity to get the better of you, or have you believe that “asking for help is a sign of weakness.”  This is not true.  Real leaders, effective leaders, know how to ask for help graciously.  Real leaders don’t fake their leadership in anyway.  Real leaders lead by example, and that includes acknowledging what you don’t know and inviting others to support you in leading.

Bottom-line: even leaders have moments of insecurity.  The question is, what are you going to do about it?  If you’re really going to lead, you’ve got to learn to ask for help.