Leader? Follower? Can You Be Both?

I woke up this morning with a question in my mind:  what’s the difference between a leader and a follower?  Which quickly led to another question:  can you be both a leader and a follower? For me, this blog provides a place for me to explore a bit and so, I’m going to see if I can’t sift through my thoughts to arrive at answers to these questions.

What’s the difference between a leader and a follower?  As I hold this question and mull it over, it strikes as pivotal in some respects.  What I know for sure is that being a leader is about so much more than holding a specific title.  You certainly might be a leader by virtue of the fact that you’re a CEO, founder, president, chairperson, etc;.  But the title’s not enough.  Leadership is about vision, it’s about risk-taking, it’s about showing up and standing up and playing the game even when others are dropping out.  Leaders are required to take a stand and invite others to stand alongside.  Leaders have to be willing to get it wrong, in order to get it right (whatever “it” might be).  In other words, a true leader cannot wait for the perfect idea at the perfect moment.  True leaders put themselves out there when things are less than perfect, knowing that as they move forward, step-by-step, perfection will be attained.

Followers, on the other hand, don’t need to hold a vision, they need only subscribe to another person’s vision.  Followers don’t need to risk taking the first step; instead they can follow in the footsteps of another.  Followers can pull out of the game for a bit, take a breath, and then dive back in when they’re ready.  All of this might make it sound like followers have got it far easier than leaders.  And I think that this is a bit of a misnomer.  Why?  Because as a follower, you’ve actually got to exercise a bit of gumption.  You’ve got to use your wits and ascertain whether the vision you’re subscribing to is subscription-worthy.  As a follower, your role is to lend support to your leaders, and so you’ve got to know what support is required of you in every moment.  You’ve got to be able to “read the play” so-to-speak.  The role of follower is no less difficult than the role of leader; it’s just different.

So, can someone be both a leader and a follower?  As I ask this question, a vision of flying geese comes to mind.  What I remember about geese flying in formation is that they absolutely always have a designated leader.  They also, however, have a system whereby, when the leader gets tired, the leader “steps back” and another goose takes the position of leader.  So now, the follower is the leader, and the leader follows for a bit.  In other words, while there is a definite leader and follower role to be held, when it comes right down to it which goose is the leader or follower isn’t nearly as important as all of the geese realizing that they’re on the same team, playing the same game, moving towards the same objective.

Bottom-line:  every team needs a leader, and every team needs followers to support the leader’s objectives.  More importantly, however, every team member — whether they are leader or follower — has to realize that the overriding fact is that they’re a team.  The entity of team trumps the individual roles — at least when the team is all on the same page.  So, leaders, followers, ask yourselves:  are you on the same page?  And if you’re not, how are you going to get there?

Why Are You Holding On?

I’m back to work after a week’s worth of vacation.  I didn’t go anywhere particularly special.  I guess the new-fangled term for my particular type of vacation is actually “stay-cation” — I enjoyed a week around the house with my husband, just puttering around, tending to necessary household tasks that have been on the back-burner, watching movies, day-tripping — all simple pleasures.  It was wonderful.

One of the challenges I set for myself was to disconnect from the virtual world for the entire week.  No email, no facebook, no blogging, nothing.  I’ve done this before — but never when I’ve actually been home.  It’s one thing to leave your virtual behind when you’re away from home; it’s another thing altogether to be in the space where you usually get connected, and choose to not connect.  At first, it felt a little strange, I’ve got to admit it.  But after about 36 hours, I barely thought about it.  And it was wonderful to not feel attached to “checking in” every hour or so.  Very liberating.  And it created loads of space for ideas to flow naturally.  Which was a great thing.

The drawback, of course, was that I came back to hundreds (literally) of emails this morning! This, of course, meant that I had to devote some time to clearing, purging, prioritizing of emails.  And it provided me with the opportunity to notice just how many emails I get that I never actually read.  Newsletters, announcements, promotions, updates — you get the point.  Which had me ask the question, why am I on this list?  Why do I receive these particular emails?  Why am I holding on to this, when I never actually read these correspondences?

What I realized, and what I know for sure, is that it behooves everyone (leaders in particular) to check in periodically and purge.  Just because you’ve always received a particular correspondence, just because you’ve always been on someone’s mailing list, doesn’t mean that you have to continue to be.  If it doesn’t serve in some way — nurturing a relationship, providing valuable information, fostering a connection — it may well be time to be rid of it.  It may be time to let go.

Bottom-line:  sometimes, it serves really well to take a step back, disconnect, come back and notice what you actually want in your life.  The things that are of value — keep those.  The things that are just taking up space — ditch those.  Sometimes, you’ve got to stop holding on and let go.

It’s Time to Stop Dragging Your Heels

One of the things that I find myself facing from time-to-time, is the challenge of dealing with people who seem to be dragging their feet.  You know the type.  They say they want something, but they don’t seem to be willing to do a whole lot about it.  In the context of the work I do with leaders, this often takes the form of wishing — “I wish my team would work more cohesively” or “I wish I could reach my objective of hosting five retreats this year”.  Wishing is a way of dragging your feet — especially if all you’re doing is wishing.

You see, as a leader, wishing in and of itself isn’t a bad thing.  Wishes carry the seeds of dreams.  And dreams can and do fuel leadership visions.  That being said, when you allow yourself to stay in “wishing mode” without taking action of some sort, things do not evolve and shift.  Nothing changes.  You’re dragging your heels.  And that does not serve leadership, ever.

Dragging your heels isn’t about moving and acting slowly.  Dragging your heels is about not taking action at all, sometimes disguising the fact by pencil pushing, acting on the trivial, and leaving the big stuff until later.  The only problem is that “later” never seems to arrive.  And so the wish stays a wish and doesn’t become a reality.

Whether your leadership vision is about busting through the glass financial ceiling, launching a new product, or starting a global movement is irrelevant.  With all leadership visions, there comes a point when you’ve got to move from the place of wishing and dreaming and take action.  Without action of some sort — even small, baby steps day-by-day — your vision cannot become reality.

Bottom-line:  we’re over 1/2 way through 2010.  Whatever your leadership vision — or even your personal vision, stop dealing with the small tasks, hold the big vision, and take at least one step towards major action.  Small steps lead to big steps, big steps lead to vision becoming reality.  Stop dragging your heels.

The Wrapping’s Not Very Pretty, But…

…it’s definitely a gift.  That’s what I’ve gleaned out of some of today’s experiences.  For example:  I had a meeting scheduled for this morning, and I was really looking forward to the productive brainstorming that I was envisioning happening.  Unfortunately, my colleague and I ended up at two different meeting places due to a misunderstanding as to location.  On the one hand, bummer — because I couldn’t share my ideas visually and receive ideas visually.  On the other hand, great gift — because I was out of my usual workspace and got two degrees closer in clarity as to what I’m trying to create PLUS I got to enjoy a white mochaccino, one of my secret indulgences, while I waited.

Then, I came home to deal with an ongoing blood sugar roller coaster (this one’s been going on for a couple of days now).  Bummer — because I couldn’t go for the run that I would’ve liked to experience — running when my blood sugar is wonky is just asking for trouble.  Great gift — because it allowed me to slow down and breathe through a very healthy lunch meal.

Finally, I hit a creative wall in the middle of a project this afternoon.  My brain actually stopped generating any ideas whatsoever.  Bummer — because I felt like I was on a roll.  Gift — because it forced me to reach outside of myself and enlist the help of some other folks in generating ideas, lean into community as it were.  And community is always a gift.

Bottom-line:  the day’s not unfolding as I might have envisioned it.  And I know that that happens sometimes — it’s part of the leadership game.  Heck, it’s part of the game of life.  I realize that I could get all bent out of shape about it.  Except that I also realize that the way it’s actually unfolding is better than what I originally envisioned.  I’m needing to step into a new vantage point to see the gifts; and the gifts are there nonetheless.  Pretty cool thing to remember, I think.

Turning the Focus Outward

A couple of years ago, one of my mentors told me and a group of fellow leaders, “whenever you’re feeling stuck, turn your attention outward and create from what’s out there.”  This statement has stayed with me, obviously.  Today, it seems to be making itself heard yet again.  I’m not sure why.  I’m not feeling particularly stuck — I’m actually motoring along and accomplishing a whole lot.  I am, however, noticing an uneasiness in my gut.  Not sure what it’s about at all which, of course, is heightening the uneasiness.  And my tendency is to try and figure out the whys and wherefores thereof.

What I’m realizing as the uneasiness continues to build is that I absolutely could keep trying to figure it out.  I’ve got a story that says if I figure out what’s causing the uneasiness, I can address the causal factor and move on more efficiently.  This may in fact be the way to go.  There’s a bigger something, however, that’s telling me to stop focusing on me, and start looking outside of myself.  Not for an answer to what ails me, but rather to address whatever needs exist outside of myself.

You see, leadership requires one to engage in a delicate balance of being aware of internal needs and external needs simultaneously.  What I’m realizing is that sometimes, when keeping the focus on one area isn’t leading to a solution, it might actually be beneficial to turn the focus onto another area and address what needs addressing out there.  This isn’t about going through life with blinders on, or ignoring very real needs.  Instead, this is about providing space where it’s needed, allowing supposed issues to simmer and either evaporate or crystalize before attempting to implement a solution that may not actually fit.  After all, a solution that doesn’t fit just ends up being just another problem, you know?

Bottom-line: sometimes you just need a fresh perspective.  And sometimes, that perspective is most easily accessed when you deliberately turn your focus away from whatever problem is at hand.  It’s very much akin to what Albert Einstein once said:  “problems cannot be solved by the same level of thinking that created them.”  If you want to solve a problem or resolve an issue, you’ve got to move your thinking to a new level.  And sometimes, that means turning your focus outward.

Recognizing Milestones

Sometimes, you can be pushing so hard towards a goal that it takes you a moment to realize when you’ve reached it.  My sense is that this is particularly true when the goal in question is more of a stop along the road, rather than the final destination.  I almost had such an experience just last week.

You see, I’m a coach with a vision, as most coaches are.  My vision, at it’s most fundamental level is about having women leaders step into their most powerful leadership selves, with a paradoxical sense of ease.  In other words, it’s about having women leaders engage with the challenging stuff that life throws at them, but with an energy of ease.

As I navigate towards this vision, there are a  myriad of tasks which I undertake on a daily basis.  There are numerous goals which I set for myself, all with a view to achieving the ultimate goal — having my message be heard and recognized as a valid one in a world that can sometimes feel overwhelming and anything but ease-filled.  Each of these goals feels worthy in and of itself, and yet, when they’re reached, it can be so easy to just sail on past it and keep moving towards “the big goal.”.  What I’m realizing is that by NOT acknowledging these supposed mini-accomplishments, there’s a way that I make the achievement of the big goal that much harder.  Why?  Because when you’re traveling a long road and you don’t stop to take a break or acknowledge your progress, you can actually feel like you’re getting nowhere.  Which is self-defeating.  So let me take a moment and acknowledge a milestone that I recently reached.  (|Note:  this is about me acknowledging my milestone; if you don’t care to acknowledge it, you can just move on to the last paragraph for the bottom-line )

For a long while now — probably a couple of years, actually — I’ve wanted to have an article of mine published in the coaching industry’s recognized publication, CHOICE magazine.  I’ve wanted to do this, but I’ve never actually submitted anything for consideration.  Don’t ask me why, I just didn’t.  Until this past spring.  That’s when I finally bit the bullet and decided to put one of my opinions regarding my profession in print and submit it with a view to having it published.  Well, it was accepted.  And the article is now in print for the world to see (you can check it out yourself at www.choice-online.com/current-toc.html — the title of the article is Meeting in the Middle).

Surprisingly, despite the fact that this is something I’ve been wanting for some time now, it took me a while to recognize this accomplishment as a milestone.  You see, my eyes are currently focused so far ahead.  And this particular accomplishment was a reminder to me that I must celebrate these smaller feats, even as I keep my eye on the bigger goal.  That’s the way for me to recognize the progress I’m making, and to feel like my work is bearing fruit.

Bottom-line: when you’re a leader with a vision that you’re working towards,  keeping your eye on the ultimate goal is important; it’s what keeps you focused and moving forward.  That being said, it’s imperative to recognize the smaller milestones that are reached on your way to that ultimate goal.  These moments of acknowledgment and celebration are what will have you realize that you’re making progress. And this progress is what will facilitate bringing your leadership vision to life.  Which is a good thing.

When The Fatigue Sets In (And It Will)

I know you know the feeling.  You’re bopping along, going about your business, sometimes for days or weeks on end, relatively uneventfully, accomplishing things, meeting with people, basically getting things done.  All of a sudden, out of nowhere, you get jolted by the realization that you are tired.  Not just “oh-I-could-use-a-nap” tired, but really, “I-could-crawl-into-a-cave-and-hibernate” tired.  It’s rather like a wave that just comes along and almost knocks you off your feet, this type of fatigue.  It happens.

What I’ve noticed, both in my observations of myself and others, is that there can be a tendency to try and deny the fatigue.  Rather like a mentality that says “if I ignore this, it will go away” — except that it doesn’t.  Instead, it gets somewhat worse.  And the more it gets ignored, the worse it will get until it borders on the edge of debilitating.  And so, I’ve learned to notice and pay attention to  this fatigue earlier.  And I’ve developed some strategies for moving through it, addressing it if you will.  Here are my 5 favourite  strategies for coping:

1. Take a break.  It seems so simple, and yet it’s so often overlooked.  The truth, however, is that if you can take a break, you can easily avoid needing to utilize any of the other strategies.  The break doesn’t have to be long — even a 15 minute hiatus will do it.  Enough time to breathe and refresh your brain.  Which brings me to the second strategy.
2. Breathe, consciously.  I know you breathe naturally — it’s a sure indicator that you’re alive, after all.  But breathing consciously is different.  It actually draws your attention away from whatever concerns are present for you, brings you back to basics, and rejuvenates you from within.  Which is a great thing.  You can check out the breathing space on my website homepage if you need a refresher (www.stellarcc.com).
3. Switch gears –which is different from taking a break.  When you switch gears, you stop the activity you’re engaged in currently, and take up something new, preferably something entirely different, requiring you to use a different set of mental and physical muscles.  Switching gears forces you into a fresh perspective, gets your stagnant juices flowing and therefore revitalizes you.
4. Turn off the television.  It can be easy to plunk yourself in front of the tv in the name of “vegging out.”  But there have been plenty of studies pointing to the fact that television isn’t exactly mindless and it does in fact keep your brain buzzing — which requires energy — which doesn’t, ultimately, help you rest.  So turn the boob-tube off.
5. Get active.  Seems counter-intuitive, I know.  When you’re fatigued, finding the energy to get off your chair can be too much, never mind going for a walk.  But getting your muscles working, getting the blood flowing, can actually get the energy flowing as well.  You don’t have to go and run a marathon — just move.  Tai chi, yoga, a walk around the block — simple movements can refresh like nothing else.

Bottom-line:  the fatigue is inevitable, especially if you’re a busy person.  And you can absolutely overcome it.  The first step is to not ignore it, but acknowledge it.  Then, choose one of the above strategies to address it and shift your energy.  You might need only 5 minutes, or you might need a whole day.  But implementing one or more of these strategies when fatigue sets in– or better yet, incorporating them regularly as a means of circumventing the fatigue — will allow you to be your most productive, well-rounded self.  Which is a good thing.

Compassion Serves

One of the things that I firmly believe, is that it is important to infuse your daily actions and conversations with compassion.  Without getting all definitive about it, for me, compassion is about being able to see a bigger picture, being able to let go of making someone wrong and making yourself right, and really, about being able to at least entertain the possibility of walking in another’s shoes and coming to a place of understanding as to why they might be acting in a certain way.  Not about denying the perceived wrongness of whatever action they’ve taken, but instead about allowing that the wrongness may come from an understandable place.

One of the things that I’m becoming more and more aware of is that by and large compassion seems to be going the way of the dodo bird.  In talking with others — managers, parents, partners, children — there seems to be a massive misconception that sounds something like this:  “if I show compassion, then I’m letting this person off the hook, I’m giving them a free pass.”  Well, what I know for sure is that compassion in no way lets someone off the hook.  Instead, it allows the person — the “wrong-doer” if you will — to be where they’re at, totally and completely, even while you share your frustration, anger, sadness, displeasure, whatever.

Several years ago, I read a fabulous book by The Arbinger Institute called The Anatomy of Peace.  They’ve also written Leadership & Self-Deception, which I’ve not yet read, but I understand that the principles are the same.  This book gives some phenomenal insight into how we as human beings can be in relationship with one another, true relationship, in a manner that allows for disagreement, but from a place of “hearts at peace.”

The basic idea is that, when you interact with another person, your heart can either be at peace or at war. The actions you take in either case might be exactly the same.  In other words, you might choose to be angry with your partner, expressing this anger by yelling, with your heart at war, or you might choose to yell with your heart at peace.  When your heart is “at war” there’s a way in which your focus is on how you’ve been wronged, and how you want to make your partner wrong in turn.  There’s very little focus on moving towards a resolution that moves the relationship forward.  Compassion is nowhere to be found.  When your heart is “at peace”, however, while you might still choose to yell at your partner, the fact is you’re coming from a different intent, from a different energy.  And because you’re coming from a different energy, the outcome will absolutely be different, even if you choose to express your anger in the exact same way.  In other words, the expression of compassion is an energetic one that in no way allows the so-called wrongdoer to slip off the hook, but instead has them be fully responsible for the wrong-doing even while acknowledging the whole picture.

Why is compassion so important?  Well, from my perspective, it’s about allowing our human interactions to be about so much more than who’s right and who’s wrong.  Compassion allows us to engage with each other completely, foibles and all, allowing us each to be fully human and perfect in our imperfection, always moving towards greater alignment.  Compassion is what allows us to move forward and grow together as human beings.

Bottom-line: it’s time to bring compassion back into our human relationships.  Forget about being too kind or soft, or letting people off the hook.  With compassion, people can take complete responsibility for wrongdoing, while still being completely human.  Without compassion, all that gets created is separate camps of right and wrong, with no acknowledgment of common ground.  Compassion is what brings us all together and allows us to play on the same field.  Compassion serves.

Laser-Focus + Soft-Focus = Mission Accomplished

I’m sitting here at the start of my first official summer work-week.  In many ways, it’s no different from any other work-week — client calls, meetings, writing, speaking, networking — these are the things in my calendar.  There’s an energetic difference, however; a difference that arises from the fact that my entire family is home (I work from home and usually have the space to myself), heightening my awareness of the fact that it is summer and there is a world of sunshine to be enjoyed just outside my patio doors.  Essentially, if I didn’t keep my eye on the ball, it would be really easy to get distracted and lose my focus.

As I sit here, contemplating the week — and weeks — ahead, I’m finding the idea of “focus” an interesting one.  It strikes me as a bit paradoxical, especially in the work context.  I’m having a sense that achieving success or accomplishing anything requires that I simultaneously maintain laser focus AND hold a big picture.  There’s a way that I’ve got to keep my eye on the ball, for sure, and at the same time allow my eyes to be aware of more than the ball.  Why?  Because if my eyes are on the ball and the ball  alone, I may actually miss vital details that could enhance my ability to achieve whatever it is I’m striving for.

As a leader, holding the vision is essential.  Focus on the vision is imperative.  Moving past distractions is key, in order to get to where I’m going and bring my leadership vision to life.  That being said, I cannot allow my focus to diminish my awareness of the rest of the picture.  In fact, there’s a way that holding a soft focus on the periphery while simultaneously holding a sharp focus on the object of my intentions makes that object even clearer. I’m thinking of a photographic effect here, where the primary subject is crystal clear, and the surrounding details are all fuzzy — and yet, the softer focus of the surrounding details doesn’t actually distract you from the primary subject — instead it almost enhances it.  That’s the power of holding the whole picture — you can be aware of it all, but with intent.  The awareness of the whole doesn’t distract you from your objective; instead it allows you to hold it with more deliberate attention.

Bottom-line: if there’s something you’re wanting to accomplish or achieve, you’ve absolutely got to stay focused.  And, it’s important that you’re not so focused that you miss the rest of the picture.  As a leader, you’ve got to hold it all — some of it lightly, some of it sharply, and all of it completely.  That’s the way that your objective will actually be achieved.