I Disagree: Can We Still Work Together?

Yesterday I wrote in this blog about the reframing of circumstances and situations to find the opportunity that serves. In a nutshell it was all about finding the perspective that will allow you as a leader to move forward powerfully in alignment with your vision, rather than faltering and stumbling your way to that same place.   Today I feel called to write about perspectives yet again, but from another place.  Today, I’m wondering how leaders can productively engage and move forward with one another when they have seemingly opposing perspectives.

This comes up for me today as a result of a conversation that I had this morning with a wonderful woman leader.  On so many levels, in so many ways, she and I seem to share the same — or at least similar — ideals and visions. To quote her, “we seem to have the same DNA.”   There is, however, one point on which we disagree.  This point is, in fact, a fundamental difference of ideology.  Since our conversation — which was a precursor to a possible meeting to explore how we might further work together — I’ve been sitting here wondering what the impact of that one point of difference might have on our work together.  I’m aware that it will have impact.  The question is, does it necessarily preclude us from moving forward towards a generally shared vision?  Even if we differ on this one point, does it mean we cannot align on others?

My personal perspective is that there absolutely is a way in which we can work together.  In order to do so, it will require us both to be absolutely honest about who we are and what we’re up to, and we will both need to be committed — fiercely committed — to holding our shared vision even when we disagree about the nuts and bolts of how it shows up in the world.  What I’m questioning is whether or not that level of commitment is actually possible.

What I know for sure is that I’ve had the experience of creating powerfully, magnificent stuff with people that I don’t agree wholeheartedly with.  I know that this sort of alliance is possible, and it’s not easy.  It’s not necessarily burdensome — it just requires an increased amount of commitment and awareness, more than would be required in a relationship where two or more people are completely in agreement.    Because of the level of energy required in this sort of alliance, I believe that rich opportunities are lost, opportunities that could move things forward like nothing else.

And so, having thought this through and written my way through my musings, my commitment is to go back to this dynamic woman and see how we might work together, without either one of us trying to change or convince the other.  My sense is that there’s a way that we can move forward together and do powerful work in the world.  Whether or not she sees it remains to be seen.  It can be easy to toss away a possible alliance based on the belief that “we just don’t see eye-to-eye.”  What I’ve come to realize is that seeing eye-to-eye is absolutely lovely — and it’s not entirely necessary to the creation of brilliant work.  Finding points of alignment and being committed to the outcome — that’s what’s necessary.