Motherhood and Leadership

I remember reading a quote several years ago.  For the life of me I cannot recall who said it, or even the exact wording, but it goes something like this:  “when I was a teenager I thought my parents knew nothing.  By the time I became a parent myself I was surprised at how much they had learned in such a short period of time.”  I remember laughing myself silly, mostly because I totally understood (or felt I understood) the author’s sentiment.

As a child myself (not all that long ago, I swear!) I remember feeling like my parents just didn’t understand things; that they were behind the times; heck, in my case there was always the “they just don’t understand North American culture” perspective.  As I grew older, and certainly looking back now as a parent myself, what I realized is that while there may be some things that my parents didn’t know, those things were far fewer in number than the things that they did know.

With Mother’s Day fast approaching, I find myself reflecting on this phenomenon a bit, and drawing parallels between the challenges of motherhood (parenthood, really) and the challenges inherent in leadership.  Mothers are leaders after all.  When it comes to my mother in particular, I am in awe of who she had to be in her mid-20′s, the leadership role she took, whether she was aware of it or not.  You see, my mother came to Canada right after getting married, with very little to call her own, and nobody to really welcome her in this new land; my dad wouldn’t join her in Canada until 6 months later.  When I reflect on her experiences and what she modeled for me, even though I didn’t see it at the time, here’s what I know now:

1.  Mothers and effective leaders do what needs to be done, even when it means doing it on their own.

2.  Mothers and effective leaders follow where they feel called to go, not always knowing what is waiting for them.

3.  Mothers and effective leaders stay the course.

4.  Mothers and effective leaders do their best to share their wisdom and, when they feel resistance, quietly pursue their truth, knowing that the message will be heard and understood eventually.

5.  Mothers and effective leaders strive to take care of themselves so that they can take care of others, as needed.

6.  Mothers and effective leaders find creative ways to bridge the gap between what is needed and what is available.

7.  Mothers and effective leaders surround themselves with strong support networks, so that they can meet the challenges that come their way.

8.  Mothers and effective leaders understand and honour the value of family — they find a way to stay connected, even when life is busy.

9.  Mothers and effective leaders maintain a sense of humour.

10.  Mothers and effective leaders watch and allow their children (followers, staff, teams) to grow of their own volition.  In other words, they share what they know — and they allow others to have their own experiences.

11.  Finally, mothers and effective leaders know that the most effective way to do their job is to do the best they can, provide lots of support and nurturing, and trust that their teachings will take root and grow.

To all mothers — and to my mother in particular — thank you for being models of strong leadership.  Whether you know it or not, you are having on influence on the world at large.  Happy Mothers Day!