A Place of Wonder

So, I’m  not yet really sure what this blog post is going to be about.  I just know that I’ve made a commitment to myself to write in this blog at least three times a week, and last week got away from me — I think I only managed one post.  Not beating myself up over it — and I’m aware that I don’t want this week to be a repeat.  So, here I am, diving in.

Woke up this morning setting the intention of productivity, to-do-lists done, meetings, scheduled, clients well-served, etc;.  I say “etc;” only because my daily intentions are often a variation of this.  Which could be construed as boring.  Today, though, had the added flavour of being in a state of wonder.  As in “I wonder what will show up today?”  Today, when I’ve coached my clients, I’ve come from wonder about where our coaching will go.  When I’ve tweeted, I’ve wondered about who might respond, or what might get provoked for followers.  When the thunder-storm began, I took myself to the place of wondering — how long would it last, would I walk the dog in the rain, would the power go out, would the children be scared?

And then, there’s been just an overall sense of wonder — what will the day hold?  What seed will get planted today that will bear fruit later?  What fruit will show itself today, from some seed that I planted earlier?  What little surprise will the universe have for me — and will I see it for what it is?

I guess I’ve got a sense that wonder serves leadership in a big way.  I think we’ve got a notion in our world that leadership requires conviction, and that conviction is different somehow from wonder.  I guess I’m sort of hanging out in a space today of thinking that wonder and conviction actually go together more strongly than might be apparent at first glance.  I think wonder fuels conviction, or at least strengthens it in some way.  Because standing in wonder facilitates learning, which can enhance conviction.  That’s where I’m at today.

Bottom-line for me, effective leadership, leadership that serves humanity, and even leadership that serves on a smaller scale requires one to stand in wonder, at least for a small segment of time.  What reveals itself to you, when you stand in wonder?

Do Little Things Count?

Well, I’m smack-dab (or “dam-smack” as my 7 year old says!) in the middle of a full-fledged writing week, the first of 4 scheduled for this year.  The writing weeks are something which my co-author and I co-created for ourselves, as a structure and container within which to honour our commitment to work on the 2nd book in our series, without compromising or sacrificing the integrity of our individual coaching companies.  With this structure, we can throw ourselves into the writing for one whole week at a time, feel the momentum, harness the creativity and really make progress, before letting things percolate for a while before we dive in again.  So far, it’s been a thing of beauty — momentum galore, productivity abounding, and laughter that I’m sure would have people wonder about our sanity, if we were working out in a public setting.

As great as this all is, one of the things that happens during this sort of focused week is that I can’t be fully immersed in my coaching company.  Makes sense; when I’m focused on one thing, I can’t be focused on another.  I get it.  I have allowed myself time at the beginning and end of each day to attend to the absolute essentials of my coaching practice — these vary a bit from week to week, but they’re the things that help keep me grounded and moving forward — follow up calls, mini-meetings, admin tasks, etc;.  Again, they’re essential — and they feel “little”, compared to the bigger things such as proposal writing, concrete coaching and seminar delivery.  Which has me ask the title question:  do the little things count?

Even as I ask it, I know the answer.  Of course they do!  In some ways, they count at least as much, if not moreso, than the “bigger” tasks.  These are the things that set the foundation and keep my business afloat.  These little tasks are the things that lead to the bigger accomplishments.  And sometimes, doing these little things requires a modicum (if not a big whack!) of courage.  And commitment.  And trust.  When I can tackle all of these little tasks with these three qualities, what I know for sure is that I’ll be able to handle the the inevitable big tasks with as much courage, trust and commitment.  The little tasks, in some ways, are a training ground for the big things.  And the eventual accomplishments and successes that come out of these tasks — big or little — can be savoured that much more.  Because I’ll know that I actually did what needed to be done to have the experience of this particular success.

Bottom-line, as a leader, I must be prepared to do the little things and the big things, even as I hold the vision and move towards my envisioned success.  Not only do the little things count, they are the things upon which the foundation of true leadership success is built.

I Disagree: Can We Still Work Together?

Yesterday I wrote in this blog about the reframing of circumstances and situations to find the opportunity that serves. In a nutshell it was all about finding the perspective that will allow you as a leader to move forward powerfully in alignment with your vision, rather than faltering and stumbling your way to that same place.   Today I feel called to write about perspectives yet again, but from another place.  Today, I’m wondering how leaders can productively engage and move forward with one another when they have seemingly opposing perspectives.

This comes up for me today as a result of a conversation that I had this morning with a wonderful woman leader.  On so many levels, in so many ways, she and I seem to share the same — or at least similar — ideals and visions. To quote her, “we seem to have the same DNA.”   There is, however, one point on which we disagree.  This point is, in fact, a fundamental difference of ideology.  Since our conversation — which was a precursor to a possible meeting to explore how we might further work together — I’ve been sitting here wondering what the impact of that one point of difference might have on our work together.  I’m aware that it will have impact.  The question is, does it necessarily preclude us from moving forward towards a generally shared vision?  Even if we differ on this one point, does it mean we cannot align on others?

My personal perspective is that there absolutely is a way in which we can work together.  In order to do so, it will require us both to be absolutely honest about who we are and what we’re up to, and we will both need to be committed — fiercely committed — to holding our shared vision even when we disagree about the nuts and bolts of how it shows up in the world.  What I’m questioning is whether or not that level of commitment is actually possible.

What I know for sure is that I’ve had the experience of creating powerfully, magnificent stuff with people that I don’t agree wholeheartedly with.  I know that this sort of alliance is possible, and it’s not easy.  It’s not necessarily burdensome — it just requires an increased amount of commitment and awareness, more than would be required in a relationship where two or more people are completely in agreement.    Because of the level of energy required in this sort of alliance, I believe that rich opportunities are lost, opportunities that could move things forward like nothing else.

And so, having thought this through and written my way through my musings, my commitment is to go back to this dynamic woman and see how we might work together, without either one of us trying to change or convince the other.  My sense is that there’s a way that we can move forward together and do powerful work in the world.  Whether or not she sees it remains to be seen.  It can be easy to toss away a possible alliance based on the belief that “we just don’t see eye-to-eye.”  What I’ve come to realize is that seeing eye-to-eye is absolutely lovely — and it’s not entirely necessary to the creation of brilliant work.  Finding points of alignment and being committed to the outcome — that’s what’s necessary.

Gold Gilt or Basic Black? The Art of Reframing

One of the things that I’ve had opportunity to play with as a coach is perspective.  Any coach worth his or her salt knows that finding a powerful perspective or vantage point with clients can do wonders for moving clients forward, helping them to shift out of stuckness and embrace otherwise daunting opportunities.  Reframing is one example of being able to shift perspectives.

Reframing, which, at its core is about perspective shifting,  is finding another way to package a situation. The ultimate result is to find a way to be with a set of circumstances as powerfully as possible, as productively as possible. What I’m realizing — or maybe I’ve known this all along — is that reframing is not about positive thinking.  Reframing is about reality thinking — and about understanding that there can be more than one way to experience or interpret reality.

For leaders in particular, the ability to reframe a circumstance is critical.  Take for example the situation in which a new initiative is met with initial enthusiasm that eventually fizzles out, or no enthusiasm at all.  I know this has happened for me numerous times along my leadership journey.  I’m sure you can relate as well.  In this circumstance, it can be easy to conclude that the initiative is a failure and must therefore be scrapped.  Reframing, however, allows a leader to see the exact same circumstance as an opportunity, rather than as a failure.  From the place of opportunity the leader might choose to relaunch the initiative, tweak the initiative or plow ahead despite the fizzled enthusiasm.  The frame of opportunity opens up possibilites that are far different from those available within the frame of failure.

For leaders to be successful, no matter the realm in which they’re leading, being able to reframe a situation –to  find a frame that actually serves the overall leadership vision — is crucial.  Without it, too many “leader-ships” would sink.  Powerful frames — frames that absolutely align with the circumstance at hand, and simultaneously allow things to move forward — are necessary to effective leadership. Know your vision, be honest about your circumstances, and then choose the frame that serves.  What frames are you using in your leadership world?

Just How Committed Are You?

Today is a day which has me exploring the nature of commitment.  Wedding vows, childhood promises, new year’s resolutions, business goals, leadership visions — all of these hold an element of commitment within them.  Why?  Because in order to see these things to completion, in order to stay with these things until they bear fruit, you have to be committed.  The question that arises, when it comes right down to it, is how committed are you?  No, really.  How committed are you prepared to be?

Being committed — truly committed — essentially requires you to make a promise like no other.  For those of you who’ve read the Harry Potter series,let me draw a parallel between the energy of commitment and the energy of the Unbreakable Vow.  Being truly committed to something inherently means that you will stay the course, you will face any and all obstacles, you will do whatever it takes, for however long it takes, in order to see the end result that you have declared yourself to be committed to.

When it comes to leadership, one of the things that I assert is that you have and hold a vision of some sort, some ideal that you’re committed to bringing alive in the world.  As you entertain and play with this vision, as you speak it and encounter the reaction of others, the question for you to ask yourself is, how committed are you?  How willing are you to go to the mat for what you hold as your vision?  How willing are you to stay the course and lead people towards your vision, even in the face of whatever gets in your way?

You see, until and unless you are  100% committed — irrevocably, unwaveringly, and solidly committed — you can’t actually claim the leadership mantle.  You can try it on, but at some point you’ll have to take it off and hand it to someone else.  No matter what it is that you’re holding as you’re leadership vision, you must be willing to be 100% committed — not75%, 90% or even 99.9% committed — 100% committed in order to find the strength, resources and alliances to bring your vision to life.

Bottom-line:  there will be times on your leadership journey when things get tough.  At those times, it will be your commitment that carries you through.  In light of this, nothing less than 100% commitment will suffice.

Leadership Without Judgment?

The title of this blog post has a question mark in it because I’m curious as to the possibility of being able to lead without judgment.  I state that just in case my thought-process isn’t obvious.  Actually, I suppose my initial curiousity has more to do with judgment-free language than judgment-free leadership.

You see, throughout my coaching today, I’ve run into a theme whereby I see clients — hear clients — judging their choices as good or bad, or some version thereof.  This has me wondering whether or not it’s possible to evaluate something, whether it’s an action or a choice or whatever, without judging it.  For me, while the distinction is subtle, I believe it exists nonetheless.  And, I think when you can evaluate without judgment — without condemnation — then you facilitate growth, movement and progress far more easily than when you stand in judgment.  I guess that’s the essence of what’s coming up for me:  an awareness that judgment somehow contains a seed of condemnation, and that such condemnation stifles growth.

So, what becomes possible for you or me as leaders, when we can evaluate things from the place of simply evaluating?  Without beating ourselves up for the choices we’ve made or the perspectives we’ve held?  Without engaging in put-downs about where our choices have gotten us versus where we’ve wanted to go?  What opens up when we can lead and evaluate simply from a place of allowing and evaluating?  I have a hunch that, while evaluating without judgment seems contradictory in some ways, if we can actually find a way to do this — if we can stop making ourselves right or wrong and simply allow our observations to be just that, observations — then we will actually find ourselves moving forward, growing and evolving more effectively.

I guess the bottom-line thought that I’m holding at the moment — or at least entertaining — is the thought that judgment does not serve authentic leadership. Evaluation absolutely serves leadership.  So, in order to be an effective leader, you must be willing to continually evaluate — without going to the place of judgment.  Something to try on for a bit, I think.

Motherhood and Leadership

I remember reading a quote several years ago.  For the life of me I cannot recall who said it, or even the exact wording, but it goes something like this:  “when I was a teenager I thought my parents knew nothing.  By the time I became a parent myself I was surprised at how much they had learned in such a short period of time.”  I remember laughing myself silly, mostly because I totally understood (or felt I understood) the author’s sentiment.

As a child myself (not all that long ago, I swear!) I remember feeling like my parents just didn’t understand things; that they were behind the times; heck, in my case there was always the “they just don’t understand North American culture” perspective.  As I grew older, and certainly looking back now as a parent myself, what I realized is that while there may be some things that my parents didn’t know, those things were far fewer in number than the things that they did know.

With Mother’s Day fast approaching, I find myself reflecting on this phenomenon a bit, and drawing parallels between the challenges of motherhood (parenthood, really) and the challenges inherent in leadership.  Mothers are leaders after all.  When it comes to my mother in particular, I am in awe of who she had to be in her mid-20′s, the leadership role she took, whether she was aware of it or not.  You see, my mother came to Canada right after getting married, with very little to call her own, and nobody to really welcome her in this new land; my dad wouldn’t join her in Canada until 6 months later.  When I reflect on her experiences and what she modeled for me, even though I didn’t see it at the time, here’s what I know now:

1.  Mothers and effective leaders do what needs to be done, even when it means doing it on their own.

2.  Mothers and effective leaders follow where they feel called to go, not always knowing what is waiting for them.

3.  Mothers and effective leaders stay the course.

4.  Mothers and effective leaders do their best to share their wisdom and, when they feel resistance, quietly pursue their truth, knowing that the message will be heard and understood eventually.

5.  Mothers and effective leaders strive to take care of themselves so that they can take care of others, as needed.

6.  Mothers and effective leaders find creative ways to bridge the gap between what is needed and what is available.

7.  Mothers and effective leaders surround themselves with strong support networks, so that they can meet the challenges that come their way.

8.  Mothers and effective leaders understand and honour the value of family — they find a way to stay connected, even when life is busy.

9.  Mothers and effective leaders maintain a sense of humour.

10.  Mothers and effective leaders watch and allow their children (followers, staff, teams) to grow of their own volition.  In other words, they share what they know — and they allow others to have their own experiences.

11.  Finally, mothers and effective leaders know that the most effective way to do their job is to do the best they can, provide lots of support and nurturing, and trust that their teachings will take root and grow.

To all mothers — and to my mother in particular — thank you for being models of strong leadership.  Whether you know it or not, you are having on influence on the world at large.  Happy Mothers Day!

Disengage from Their Stuff, Re-engage with Yours

As a leader, one of the things that I’m coming up against repeatedly is other people’s “stuff.”  Everyone has their “stuff” — their perspectives, their experiences, their opinions, their possessions — it’s all lumped together collectively as “stuff.”  The challenge is that, of course, everybody’s stuff is different, some slightly, some greatly, and all uniquely different.

Sometimes, your stuff might align reasonably well  — if not perfectly well – with another person’s stuff.  At other times, you might have to reconfigure your stuff a bit to make a fit.  And then there are times where your stuff and my stuff just isn’t going together no matter what.

What I know for sure is that my particular array of stuff is diametrically opposed to the stuff that is carried by a lot of other people.  Indeed, many of my beliefs and ideas are heralded as idealistic or unrealistic, pollyannish to some.  That’s what sometimes  happens when you hold a view of the world that is generally positive, at least in my experience.  The challenge for me is this:  when someone comes at me with their particular explanation of why my ideas and thoughts are wrong (their word, not mine), in my overzealous attempt to explain myself I get tangled up in their stuff — and inevitably end up proving their point.

You see, one of my fundamental beliefs is that life is meant to be lived with ease.  So many people hear me say this and assume that I’m saying life is easy — which I’m not.  I’m not stupid; I know that life is challenging.  But one of the things I’m learning — I’ve always known it, and I’m having the lesson reinforced repeatedly — is that life is challenging, but it’s not meant to be burdensome.  No matter what you’re facing, inevitably, there’s a path of ease which you can follow.  This doesn’t take away the difficulty of the situation — it just makes the situation more bearable than if you choose the path of friction.  This particular perspective of mine, ironically, is one that’s challenging for a lot of people to embrace.  And when I see their disbelief, I want to prove it to them — and I get tangled up in their stuff as a result.

Luckily, the universe is showing me how to navigate my way through this without tangling myself up; and interestingly, this way also allows me to prove my point.  As a leader, it’s imperative that I disengage from the stuff of others and re-engage (ideally, stay engaged) with my stuff, my beliefs, my truths.  Not that I can’t entertain the ideas of others, but that I allow my ideas to anchor me so that I don’t go adrift in their sea of opposing stuff.  And in this particular case, the way to navigate my way, and prove my point — if it needs proving at all — is to simply find the path of ease.

The bottom-line is this:  leadership requires you to know your stuff and stay engaged with it.  There absolutely will be times where you stray; and when you realize that you’ve gone astray, it’s time to reconnect, re-engage with what you know to be true.  Hold tight to your anchor.  It’s a surefire way to stay engaged and show what you’re up to in this world.