Make a Choice, Any Choice

One of the things that I’m noticing as I step more fully into my leadership vision, my leadership role, is that there are times when I totally get stuck.  Truthfully, it’s not even stuck in the typical sense of that word; it’s more like overwhelmed with so many choices, that I simply don’t know which to choose — and erego I feel stuck.

It’s funny, because generally speaking I’m all about having a wide array of choices available to me.  There are times, however, when all of the choices in front of me seem to have merit, as well as pitfalls, and then I start to have this conversation with my inner saboteurs all around making the “right” choice.

Well, what I’m learning is this:  sometimes, it actually serves to just make a choice, and not worry so much about whether it’s right or wrong.  By making a choice — any choice — I notice that I absolutely get “unstuck”, and if in fact the choice ends up being wrong in some way, then I can go back to the drawing board.

Leadership requires me to lead, to step out and choose, even when I’m uncertain.  I don’t always have to lead with 100% certainty; in fact, I can lead with a bit of trepidation, so long as I own that I’m uncertain.  Honesty is the key here.  And by leading in this way, there’s a way in which I can draw others into my vision more easily, I think (I’m actually not sure about this — but I have a sense of it).  Why?  Because as much as people like heroes as their leaders, there’s something compelling about a leader who also shows up in all of her absolute humanity, authentically.

Bottom-line:  having doubts doesn’t have to keep you stuck.  Instead, rather than getting all intellectual, analytical, and trying to figure it out, leadership can be  better served when you simply make a choice, any choice, without worrying about the rightness or wrongness of it.  When you make a choice, you move.  And when you move, eventually you find your way.

Experience the Shift

I’m into week two of a new project that I’m undertaking.  Not a big “take it to the world” sort of project; but rather a simple, “time to shift my life” project.  Essentially, it’s a way for me to take everything I know intellectually — stuff I’ve learned, stuff I’ve heard about, stuff I’ve experienced but lost along the way — and put it into concrete practice.  It’s not a mastermind group, but it is a way to harness and utilize true, authentic mastermind energy.

Several years ago, I was part of an authentic mastermind group.  This was a group that met weekly to start, and then bi-weekly, with the sole purpose of having its members speak their visions and desires, express gratitude for what was present and what was being manifested, have others bear witness to their dreams of success and their actual success, all without going to the consultative, brainstorming space.  Powerful stuff it was.

For various reasons, the group eventually disbanded.  And two weeks ago, myself and another member of the original group decided to harness the same energy, with just the two of us.  Our goal is to keep things pithy and concise, really concrete and as tangible as possible.  We begin by expressing an overall “manifestation” for the week — what is it we’re aiming to create this week?  From there we move into gratitude — simple expression of pure gratitude for what is.  Then, we share our successes of the day.  And the last step is to request how we want to be “held” in our manifestation — how do we want the other person to think of us, when they think of us at all, so the universe gets the same message all around?

Some may consider this sort of structure hoaky.  Well, what I know for sure is that stuff is SHIFTING like it wasn’t shifting before.  Clients are showing up, money is showing up, ideas are showing up, programs are filling, speaking requests are coming in, bookings are being made, to-do lists are being crossed off — all great stuff.  Sometimes, the things that show up aren’t quite as I would have envisioned.  And it’s still showing up.  Which forces me to express more gratitude and stay anchored in joy; which forces more stuff showing up.  It’s a cycle, you see.

As a leader, what I know is that I must model the power of standing in gratitude, even if I do nothing else.  There’s a way that leadership visions are infused with power, when gratitude is the anchoring force.  So find your gratitude, express it and experience the shift.  It’s an experience you don’t want to miss.

Feel the S-T-R-E-T-C-H!!!

So, while yesterday there was a sense of stuckness and restlessness for me, today is all about movement and stretch.  Woke up with the inspiration to “just do it” already — complete some follow-ups, take some risks, step boldly as it were.  It’s all great.  Had a concrete goal as well, to put some finishing touches on a workshop — which I did.  And what I’ve been noticing is that, moving out of the restless place, while it absolutely required me to “notice, allow and shift” as I suggested yesterday, it also requires me to stretch.

Now here’s the interesting thing that I’m learning about stretch:  I can stretch to different degrees.  Sometimes, it’s just a wee bit of a stretch.  At other times, it’s a real, effort-filled, dear-Lord-can-I-really-pull-myself-that-far sort of stretch.  And both serve.  Both have me move beyond whatever self-imposed limits I’ve created, and both stretches have me create space for what I couldn’t necessarily have anticipated showing up.

In a leadership context, this feels really important for me to remember.  As a leader, I need to constantly be aware of how I might stretch, what I might stretch into, what I might create.  Red flags for me are when I hear myself imposing limits — or even notice myself acknowledging limits.  Those limit-noticing moments are also opportunities for me to ask, “what’s the stretch here?”

As anyone who’s ever done any physical activity of any sort knows, stretching is a good thing.  It limbers you up, gets you ready, and allows you to do what would otherwise have been beyond you.  The same principle applies in the leadership game.  If you’re really going to bring your leadership vision to life, you’ve got to stretch.   A little stretch here, a big stretch there, whatever sort of stretch — just stretch.  M-O-V-E yourself into those spaces that seem like they’re off limits; challenge yourself, even just a little bit.  When it comes right down to it, at the end of the day, those little stretches all add up to one big leadership expansion.  And as a leader, that’s exactly what I’m going for.

Noticing, Allowing, Shifting

Woke up today with a real sense of restlessness.  Four hours later, and I’m still in that space.  Have tried to channel it a bit — clearing, purging, following up — essentially doing tasks that I tell myself need to be done, and that once done will alleviate the jittery feeling in my stomach.  And yet, the restlessness continues. So, what to do?

My sense is that, from a leadership perspective, restlessness is a signal of some sort.  What it’s signaling I have yet to figure out.  Is there something I’m forgetting?  Is there something needing my attention?  Am I sensing something in the energy “out there” that I just haven’t yet been able to name?  Or is it simply a signal to take a break and get out of my head?  I’m really not sure.  Each of these possibilities has resonance to some degree or another.  And given this uncertainty, it would be really easy for me to “get stuck” today — and stay stuck.  But I’m determined to not get stuck.  I’m determined to stay in the flow, the flow that has been so much a part of my experience of the last few days.

Now here’s an interesting realization; lines up with a “stick  flowing in the river” metaphor.  As I picture this stick, I envision it getting stuck along it’s route, likely between two rocks or something of the sort.  Being determined to stay in the flow, doesn’t actually serve it in getting unstuck.  “Stuck” is a real part of it’s journey.  So maybe, rather than trying to get unstuck, there’s something to be said for me in allowing the stuckness/restlessness as simply part of the flow, rather than contrary to it.  Maybe that’s what will ultimately shift the restlessness — allowing, rather than resisting.

That’s where I’m at in this moment.  Going to go allow the restlessness, even as I know my objective is flow.  It’s all part of the deal.  Moving with and through the restlessness is bound to take me forward.  time to stop resisting and judging, and start allowing and shifting — and ultimately leading.  This is good.

Drawing a Blank

Woke up this morning with more energy than I have in the last few weeks.  A good feeling.  Got down to work fairly quickly, prepping the kids for school, finishing touches on lunches, eating breakfast — you know the drill.  All good stuff, great time to connect and be with each other.

Then, I settled down to follow up emails.  Some great stuff to respond to, including making it through to the “next stage” of the application process for an upcoming leadership conference.  Aiming to be the keynote — it would be an absolute fit for me and them, and I was thrilled to start my day with the news that I’m in the running!  Followed this with some gratitude and visioning, before launching into client calls — love it when client calls go where they least expect to go AND they make breakthroughs and have insights that will move them forward.  Feeling blessed to do this work.

Then, a bit of social media stuff.  Another way of staying connected.  Noticing a connection theme for me as a leader.  Feels important to maintain connections — make new ones, build upon old ones, etc; — when striving to breathe life into my leadership vision.  And now, I’m drawing a blank.  I know what I want to do next — that is, I know what project could benefit from my attention.  And, I don’t know exactly what to do.  Even as I write this, I have a sense that the answer lies in the connection piece — but not solely in outward connection.  There’s a way in which I actually need to go inward first, connect to my inner knowing, then turn my attention outward, connect and create from there.

My sense is that leaders from all walks of life have this challenge, at least periodically.  There’s a way in which the answer can sometimes be elusive — which can be frustrating when we’re feeling the pressure to be in the know, constantly.  And so, I’m just owning here and now that sometimes, I don’t know.  And that’s okay.  Sometimes, it’s easier to create on a blank canvas anyway.  That’s where I’m at today.  Onward and upward.

Working Through a Migraine

Okay, I’m not really sure if it’s a migraine or not.  What I do know is that it’s a wicked headache — settling just behind my right eye.  The intensity of it ebbs and flows, so that in some moments I feel able to plow ahead with what needs to be done, and in others I just want to crawl into bed.  Truthfully, my original thought this morning was that I would get the kids set for the day, send them off to school and then snuggle back up under the covers.  Instead, I actually ended up having quite a productive morning, all the while being absolutely aware of the throbbing, sharp sensation behind my eye.

Granted, I did cancel one meeting that would have required me to drive; getting behind the wheel seemed like an unsafe choice.  Typing with my eyes closed I can do; driving with my eyes closed, not so much.  But other than canceling that meeting, I got a lot accomplished.  I submitted a speaker application for an upcoming conference (which felt akin to expanding my comfort zone — the conference is outside my usual geographic locale); I signed another executive client; I forwarded foundation session packages to new clients; I completed required billing; I did some marketing email.  All in all, surprisingly productive.

So what’s my learning out of all this?  I guess it’s something along the lines of “I can only do what I can do in any given moment, and what I can do is actually more than I might think” — something like that.  Because when I awoke this morning, I didn’t anticipate getting anything done.  And now, half-way through my workday, I’ve actually accomplished a fair bit — things are actually crossed off my to-do list, and it’s only Monday, and I’ve had this headache.  I know what the learning is; it’s the Wayne Dyer quote from this morning — “Be in the now. See how doing the Tao at this moment brings  big results by paradoxically staying small and simple.”  That’s the learning; small, simple and now is the stuff that matters.  Especially when you’ve got a migraine.

Thinking of Switching Gears

Up until now, I’ve been a little unclear as to the purpose of this blog.  Truthfully, I’m still not 100% sure as to what I want to achieve through my writings in this space.  That being said, what I know for sure is that I’ve tended to follow a rule, a “should” if you will that has had me write from an advising/wisdom-dispensing place.  Up until now.

What I’m realizing today is that, while wisdom is great, and while I do have some to share, I think this blog really is more about providing a means of connection.  For me, I want to use this blog to connect with my fans/readers/followers.  It’s about being real, sharing real feelings and learnings, and if wisdom gets dispensed in the process, so be it.

You see, one of the things I know for sure is that so much more happens, so much more gets created, so much more is served when I come from the place of relating to others, being in relationship with them.  Being in relationship, for me, means connecting.  It doesn’t mean that I have to get it all right, or make a whole lot of sense, or even that I have to refrain from rambling.  Sometimes rambling is exactly what’s needed.

And so, I’m switching gears.  Moving from needing to always be the professional expert, to simply being human and real, and if I happen to dispense some pearl of professional expertise along the way, so be it.  I think this will allow me to stand more solidly in the flow.  Which is a good thing.

Until next time, here’s to keeping it real.

Your Mission, If You Choose to Accept It…

…is to be in silence for at least an hour.  Seriously.  While this may seem like a fairly simple task, let me assure you that the world in which we live makes this task anything but simple.  You see, we live in a world of distractions — or at least, a world of so many things to attract our focus, that silence inevitably loses out.  And this is a shame because so many of the answers we seek can be found in that very silence.

A couple of years ago, when I participated in a leadership training program, I was required to engage in 24 hours of silence.  At first, my reaction was “yippee — time to catch up on my reading and journal writing.” Then we were told that the silence was actually all-encompassing — no reading, no writing, no talking.  We could communicate with others — but not verbally.  The challenge was to truly BE with ourselves and the silence.  We were not allowed to distract ourselves with other activities (except those that were facilitated as part of our learning).

What I learned that day was incredible.  At first, there was learning how to be with others — in silence.  To feel their emotion, to hear their thoughts (even when they were saying nothing), to notice their way of being.  Then, there was learning to be with me — with all of me, nothing to take away from whatever was true for me in the moment.  And then, there was learning to be with the answers to my questions — because they were all there.  Going to the quiet place served to remind me that anything I wanted, anything that had me puzzled, whatever I was questioning — the answers really do lie within.

I share this with you today, because I’m aware of an uncertainty in my world, as well as in the world at large.  I woke up this morning wondering, and then remembering that it didn’t have to be complicated — that I could find what I sought within me.  What I know for sure is that this same learning holds true for you.  You need only go within, get comfortable with silence, give yourself time and space to get really quiet — and you will find what you’re looking for.  Everything will become clear.  And you’ll be able to move forward with certainty.  Which is a great feeling.

Permission to Practice

We’ve all heard it said, “practice makes perfect.”  Whether you’re learning to play an instrument, taking  on a new job, or figuring out how to develop a spreadsheet, giving yourself time to practice — time to repeat the required skills over and over again — is what leads to mastery.

Years ago, I learned that practice requires one to move through the following stages:  unconscious incompetence, conscious incompetence, conscious competence, unconscious competence.  In other words, when you start to practice something, whatever it might be, there’s actually a stage at which you are very aware of the mistakes you’re making (conscious incompetence).  During this stage, it is essential to give yourself permission to continue to practice, and more importantly, to be incompetent without judgment, knowing that the current incompetence will pass and give rise to a level of competence after a period of time.  What I’ve noticed is that many people struggle with practicing without judgment.

Admittedly, letting go of the judgment can be challenging.  After all, you’re wanting to move on to the next level, to prove to yourself that you are capable of whatever skill you’re working toward.  What I know for sure, however, is that adding judgment to the equation often just holds you back.  It keeps you in conscious incompetence longer than necessary.

Understand, I’m not suggesting that you pretend you’re competent before you are.  This isn’t about ignoring incompetence.  This is, however, about being aware without making yourself bad, slow or wrong in any way.  It’s about allowing the incompetence to simply be part of the process.  Why?  So that you can truly learn and move on.

So, what is it that you are striving to learn?  What skill are you wanting to add to your toolkit?  How willing are you to practice, practice, practice (aka, get it wrong, get it wrong, get it wrong) before you get it right?  The more willing you are to hang out in the practice space without judgment, to hang out in the practice space with awareness, the quicker you will move to the level of conscious competence and eventually unconscious competence, otherwise known as mastery.

Bottom-line: if mastery is your objective, you need to give yourself permission to simply be aware of where you’re at, knowing that this awareness will propel you forward like nothing else.